February 21, 2014


• Back in my day babies played much better man-to-man defense.

• If you want to sell a shitload of girl scout cookies just set up a table in front of a pot dispensary.

• I took notes while reading Molly Fitzpatrick's guide to making out in bars.

• Oh nothing, just someone eating four Chipotle burritos in three minutes without exploding.

• At some point very soon I'm going to be the last single person not on Tinder.

• Multiple studies show that Minnesota men are really bad at sex.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode John Bonnes scolded me for not kissing girls quickly enough, we sang the praises of Rye Deli, and celebrated pitchers and catchers reporting.

Pitbull and Kesha isn't really a combination that interests me, but a doo-wop cover of Pitbull and Kesha is right up my alley:

(Note: I refuse to use a dollar sign for Mase's name, so I'm damn sure not using it for Kesha.)

CC Sabathia is legitimately skinny now, which means he also probably misses Chinese food.

Maggie LaMaack's media blitz continues with another City Pages cover story, this one about 50 things to do in the Twin Cities before you die. I've done 12 of them and will likely die very soon.

• LaMaack also took time out of her cover story-writing schedule to interview one of my top 30 local tweeters, the ever-hilarious Ampersandria.

• At least we'll be able to continue doing the podcast even if one of us gets arrested.

Mike Redmond took a big step in his second year as manager, allowing the Marlins to grow beards after Ricky Nolasco broke all the rules last season.

The Onion: "Tips for pulling an all-nighter."

• Bodies are the worst. Mark Mulder was making a comeback after not pitching since 2008 ... and ruptured his Achilles' tendon on Day 1.

• During his amazing show at First Avenue last week Jason Isbell told us about an incident in the audience the previous night and, the internet being the internet, someone caught it on video:

Wisconsin, man.

• This interview is decent, but the larger point is that there's a human being who looks like this.

• My first ever experience working from a coffee shop was captured by intrepid photojournalist and internet creeper Megan Weisenberger.

• I'm definitely not the type of person who feels at home working from a coffee shop, for several different reasons, but Spyhouse Coffee in Uptown was a perfectly lovely venue.

• Old friend Matt Capps is having shoulder problems for the second straight season.

• Brunch spot recommendation: Meritage in St. Paul. Expensive, but well worth it.

• I used Local Motion to move me from Minnetonka to Uptown and couldn't have been happier with the whole experience. Professional, friendly, and efficient.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Parker Hageman second chance"
- "Kat Dennings porn lookalike"
- "Robin Wright porn lookalike"
- "Chelsea Peretti porn lookalike"
- "1982 Minnesota Twins roster"
- "Elisha Cuthbert podcast"
- "Aaron Gleeman top tweeters"
- "Who is John Sharkman?"
- "No cake, no pizza, no Chinese food"
- "How much does a Twins player get paid?"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Can't Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West: