December 31, 2015

Power Rankings: Top 30 Twin Cities Tweeters Of 2015

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Two years ago, in a half-joking response to City Pages publishing a "Top Twin Cities Twitterers" article, I came up with my own rankings. Despite stirring up incredible controversy and ruining many friendships I did it again last year. And now "third annual" makes it sounds like an actual thing, so here we are. Below you'll find my updated rankings for 2015 in which I continue to say "Tweeters" instead of "Twitterers." To anyone not on the list, you were No. 31 and just missed.

(Note: @BJFait was ruled ineligible for this list by virtue of her eyes being too pretty and her hair smelling too good, but following her on Twitter is one of the best decisions I've ever made.)


Neuman Twitter1. @RandBallsStu (Steve Neuman)

The Sportive co-host. Twinkie Town blogger. Good date for Jason Isbell shows. Tried to burn my house down with a Heggies pizza. Unparalleled commitment to bits.


Berry Twitter2. @_omgigi_ (Gigi Berry)

On loan to Georgia temporarily. Baesgiving hostess. Beard whisperer. Knows every local team's win total based on Papa John's discounts. Elite-level emojis and rants.


Wessel Twitter3. @DanaWessel (Dana Wessel)

GO-96.3 morning show co-host. Responsible for nearly every Donkey Kong high score in Minnesota. Has given me multiple pictures of himself as presents.


Petersen Twitter4. @JimPeteHoops (Jim Petersen)

Wolves television analyst. Lynx assistant coach. Brilliantly mixes old-school scouting and new-school stats. Responds to tweets mid-broadcast. Was nice to my mom once.


Krawczynski Twitter5. @APkrawczynski (Jon Krawczynski)

Minnesota's best all-around sportswriter. Smart, funny, plugged-in, even-handed, open-minded, and interacts with readers in a meaningful way. Underrated as hell.


Swamptown Twitter6. @CSwamptown (Clarence Swamptown)

The Sportive co-host. Spectacular forearms. Hates everything and everyone except Kelly Clarkson and Teddy Bridgewater. Straddles the line between insane and genius.


Floyd Twitter7. @mfloyd21 (Melissa Floyd)

World's nicest mean person or meanest nice person. Angelina Jolie of Mom Twitter. Known to make it rain with oatmeal packets. Emett and Olive wrangler. Fixit master.


Floyd Twitter8. @floyding (Zach Floyd)

Last year's No. 1. Hasn't slipped, but his wife threatened me with bodily harm over a repeat because his head got too big. Brad Pitt of Dad Twitter. Shadow recruit.


Hageman Twitter9. @ParkerHageman (Parker Hageman)

My favorite Twins writer when not busy fathering children. Constantly building dreams together and standing strong forever. No Juice co-host. GIF machine.


Manthei Twitter10. @HollyManthei (Holly Manthei)

Notre Dame and World Cup soccer legend. Surly beer hype woman. Hug distributor. Once brought a sleeping bag to a party at my house. Chilaquiles photographer.


Zanatta Twitter11. @Mike_Zanatta (Mike Zanatta)

Minnesota's most underrated tweeter. No one offers a superior combination of sports snark, pop culture humor, and glorious hair. Looks like Ginsberg, tweets like Draper.


Nora Purmort Twitter12. @noraborealis (Nora Purmort)

Still Kickin with incredible strength, grace, and humor in the face of personal tragedy. Mom to the world's cutest toddler. Writer of a new memoir you should pre-order.


Robson Twitter13. @brittrobson (Britt Robson)

Minnesota's best basketball writer. Timberwolves historian. Right about most things and more willing than most to admit when he's wrong. Great accent.


Rand Twitter14. @RandBall (Michael Rand)

Star Tribune digital sports editor, blogger, and silliness ringleader. I've met most of my friends in his backyard. Never played the game. New hair style is out of control.


Niver Twitter15. @tniver (Tim Niver)

St. Paul restaurant mogul. Twitter host with the most. Owner of Strip Club, Saint Dinette, and soon Mucci's. Thrives in the murky waters of late-night Twitter.


Ampersandria Twitter16. @ampersandria (Ampersandria Cochran)

Impossibly quirky and likable. Modern-day Jackie Kennedy, but with more Cheeto dust.


Lambert Twitter17. @MeatSauce1 (Paul Lambert)

KFAN morning show co-host. Never not trolling. Andy Kaufman/Yoenis Cespedes combo.


Brown Twitter18. @ItsTheBrandi (Brandi Brown)

Stand-up comedian. Coder. Tracker of people discovering the origin of Flo Rida's name.


Halter Twitter19. @mspbjHalter (Nick Halter)

Minneapolis/St.Paul Business Journal reporter covering the sports and restaurant beats.


Shortal Twitter20. @janashortal (Jana Shortal)

KARE-11 reporter. Once defeated me in a "crush contest." Justin Bieber stole her look.


Albus Twitter21. @jalbus (Jason Albus)

Photographer to the Twitter stars. Melissa Floyd wrangler. Lived up to the hype.


Jones Twitter22. @bianca101 (Bianca Jones)

Powerful name, huge smile, tiny human. Constantly amazed at things I've never done.


Brauer Twitter23. @dbrauer (David Brauer)

Minnesota's top caller of media-related bullshit. My go-to sounding board for grievances.


Guentzel Twitter24. @LindsayGuentzel (Lindsay Guentzel)

WCCO radio. One of only five humans my cat isn't afraid of. Cheats at staring contests.


Rupar Twitter25. @atrupar (Aaron Rupar)

Ex-journalist now in politics. Drummer. Fellow cat guy/beardo/Timberwolves masochist.


Welle Twitter26. @LizWelle (Liz Welle)

Paul Allen's favorite tweeter. Wore a beard of coffee grounds to be Drake for Halloween.


Matteson Twitter27. @solace (Kyle Matteson)

Just ceased being a frog. Lives, breathes music. Has an answer to almost any question.


White Twitter28. @amanduhwhite (Amanda White)

Real life is her live album. Twitter is her studio album. Randall Cobb fan club president.


Hummel Twitter29. @TweetsByCollin (Collin Hummel)

Way too good-looking to be this weird and into cats, but Twitter is (mostly) better for it.


Bonnes Twitter30. @TwinsGeek (John Bonnes)

Has wasted more than 500 hours of my life recording our arguments about the Twins.


If you read this whole thing and still won't follow @AaronGleeman on Twitter you're a monster.

May 8, 2015

Link-O-Rama

Headline of the week/weak: "Police rescue man stuck in basketball hoop."

• Sometimes when a Yankees fan tries to catch a foul ball something much better happens.

David Letterman's lengthy chat with David Itzkoff of the New York Times was really good.

Greg Howard of Deadspin wrote a fascinating take-down of Jason Whitlock and everything he touches, which was 10,000 words and somehow still too short.

• I had a lot of fun being a guest on "The Sportive" podcast for their first ever episode with all four hosts in the same room. (I also correctly predicted the Wild would get swept.)

Jeff Dubay was arrested again and charged with "felony methamphetamine possession after police allegedly found meth and more than 30 syringes during a traffic stop."

• City Pages has been purchased by the Minneapolis Star Tribune, which also shut down their own City Pages competitor Vita.mn.

Aaron Rupar, who left City Pages last year after a great run writing the "Blotter" blog, wrote an interesting piece about the tough task of turning page views into revenue.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked about how long the Twins will be able to stay above .500, Byron Buxton's hot streak, and Ron Gardenhire's job search.

• Kraft changing the color of its macaroni and cheese in the name of creating a healthier image seems to miss the entire appeal.

• Minnesota native and former Vikings tight end John Carlson just retired from the NFL at age 30 after multiple concussions.

Bryce Harper hit three homers in his first three at-bats Wednesday and people who claim he's overrated are being silly.

• FSN, along with every other local FOX Sports affiliate, got rid of the "FOX Sports North Girls."

• People complain that Gregg Popovich is too short with media, but whenever he does open up it's always smart and interesting.

• Reds manager Bryan Price went insane on the local media for reporting accurate information.

• KFAN and the Vikings agreed to a new five-year deal, which means Paul Allen will be calling their games on radio through at least 2020.

Torii Hunter wrote a not-great thing about Floyd Mayweather, scolded people for criticizing him, deleted it, half-heartedly apologized, and finally blamed Twitter.

Dana Wessel lost a Home Run Derby to Twins mascot T.C. Bear. By a lot.

Chris Colabello is back in the big leagues with the Blue Jays after hitting .337 with five homers and a .975 OPS in 23 games at Triple-A.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "What happened to Tsuyoshi Nishoka?"
- "How was Ron Coomer an All-Star?"
- "Spoon and Stable review"
- "Nick Blackburn salary"
- "Scott Erickson girlfriend"
- "Sid Hartman train phone ringer"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "A Little More" by Machine Gun Kelly:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

April 17, 2015

Link-O-Rama

"Gleeman and The Geek" is officially back on the radio, starting our fourth season on KFAN this Sunday at 4:00 pm. As always you can listen live on 100.3-FM and KFAN.com streaming audio or you can continue to listen to the show as a podcast via however you've been doing that already. We broadcast an hour live on the radio and then record another hour afterward in a side studio without any commercials, gluing the two pieces together for the final podcast product.

Rob Neyer of FOXSports.com wrote about my NBCSports.com blog-mate Craig Calcaterra and the criticism that comes with criticizing other writers.

• A national security expert wrote in the Washington Post that MLB forcing fans at every ballpark to go through metal detectors is "pure security theater" and "laughable."

Dana Wessel told the cute story of how he unexpectedly met his idol.

• I need two new owners my "Hardball Dynasty" league on WhatIfSports. Click here for details.

• You can't wear a spiked leather wristband and not expect people to mock it. Well, you can. But then it'll be even funnier.

• There's a vacant lot next to Calhoun Square and this summer Prime Time Wrestling "is planning five free outdoor shows" where "attendees just need to bring their own lawn chairs."

• I put together a guide to where the Twins' top 40 prospects are playing in the minors.

• If you like Boston Terriers, junk food, or dating you'll love this as much as I did:

The lesson to be learned is that meatballs are great.

• On a related note: This is a perfect representation of what life is like with a cat.

• Coincidentally the Cubs called up No. 1 prospect Kris Bryant on the same day his service time had been delayed long enough to push back his eventual free agency by an extra year.

Bryce Harper is still the youngest player in the National League.

• Grantland's oral history of the Orland Magic's non-dynasty was really good and included this what-if scenario from Shaquille O'Neal's agent about the Wolves winning the 1992 lottery:

Shaq was never adamant about going to L.A. or any big market. He went to LSU, so it wasn't like he was saying, "I need to go to some big market." Our strategy wasn't to force anybody to go anywhere. Maybe if he was picked by Minnesota he might have said, "I don’t want to go there."

Instead the Wolves picked third, missing out on both O'Neal and Alonzo Mourning.

Flip Saunders will surely disagree, but three-point shooting and playoff teams go hand in hand.

• It was another awful Wolves season, but television analyst Jim Petersen provided an ideal mix of passion, opinion, criticism, knowledge, and analytics. He's proof stats on TV can work.

• In the rare instances when the Twins talk publicly about their use of "statistical analysis" it comes across as rudimentary.

• Twins president Dave St. Peter took some shots at me during a Q&A session at the Minneapolis Star Tribune's new building and in doing so coined the phrase "Gleeman disciple."

• Seinfeld plus Limp Bizkit amused me way more than it should have:

The internet is an amazing place.

• As a Food Network viewer and Deadspin reader Drew Magary's appearance on "Chopped" was magical from start to finish.

• The photos from my podcast co-host John Bonnes' trip to Las Vegas are fascinating and scary.

• Congrats to Stu Neuman, Jon Marthaler, Brandon Broxey, and Clarence Swamptown on "The Sportive" winning the City Pages award for "2015 Best Sports Podcast."

• Restaurant recommendation: The Strip Club is a cozy gem in St. Paul. Tim Niver and Christy Niver treated us like family, every dish was fantastic, and I'm still thinking about the pork belly.

• Netflix recommendation: "Bloodline" is a slow burn, but Kyle Chandler, Linda Cardellini, and Ben Mendelsohn are all great and I enjoyed the 13-episode first season.

Jason Isbell has a new album coming out in July. His last album was amazing, as were the two lives shows in Minnesota that I went to.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "How did Aaron Gleeman die?"
- "Kid trips over man"
- "Spoon and Stable what to order"
- "How hard did Bert Blyleven throw?"
- "Heaviest center fielders"
- "Paul Molitor shirtless"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "See You Again" by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

December 31, 2014

Power Rankings: Top 30 Twin Cities Tweeters Of 2014

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I guess this is an annual thing now. Last year, in response to Maggie LaMaack ranking the "Top 20 Twin Cities Twitterers" for a City Pages article, I did my own ranking. Sure, it was controversial and ruined many friendships, but it also got people to step up their Twitter game. And that's all we should care about in this world, really. Anyway, below you'll find my updated rankings for 2014 in which I continue to say "Tweeters" instead of "Twitterers" and have expanded the list to 30.

(Note: @BJFait has been ruled ineligible for this list because her cat lives with me, but she is very funny on Twitter and also has very pretty eyes in real life. Everyone should follow her.)


Floyd Twitter1. @floyding (Zach Floyd)

Most underrated tweeter in Minnesota. Husband, father, friend of Ted Nugent. Lots of Louis C.K.-style parenting observations, but with visuals of the monsters.


Nora Purmort Twitter2. @noraborealis (Nora Purmort)

Wrote bravely, beautifully, and humorously about husband Aaron Purmort's battle with cancer and death. Mother of the world's cutest Instagram star, Ralphie.


Wessel Twitter3. @DanaWessel (Dana Wessel)

KTWIN-96.3 producer. Soccer weirdo. Bruce Springsteen aficionado. Runner of bits into the ground. No one looks better in a bandana.


Hageman Twitter4. @ParkerHageman (Parker Hageman)

Twins Daily blogger. Co-host of No Juice podcast. Go-to for scouting- and GIF-based Twins analysis. Live-tweeter of wife's driving. In possession of my elliptical machine.


Neuman Twitter5. @RandBallsStu (Steve Neuman)

Twitter-shaking switch from pseudonym to real name didn't cost any comedy. Runner of the Infinite Guest podcast network. Twinkie Town blogger. Packers fan troller.


Cameron Twitter6. @iamaromancer (Maria Cameron)

Deserves a much bigger Twitter following. Extremely funny, but also regularly writes poignant longer-form stuff. Questionable taste in boyfriends.


Swamptown Twitter7. @CSwamptown (Clarence Swamptown)

Co-host of The Sportive podcast. Rarely comes out of hiding, never reveals his real identity. Hater of tacos. Lover of firing everyone. Payroll whiner.


Rand Twitter8. @RandBall (Michael Rand)

The sun around which Minnesota's weird sports Twitter world revolves. Star Tribune digital sports editor and blogger. Elite baby/dog combo. Never played the game.


Zanatta Twitter9. @Mike_Zanatta (Mike Zanatta)

Best hair in the business. Big fan of the Timberwolves and doing pull-ups in front of windows. Pound for pound the Twin Cities' funniest sports tweeter.


LaMaack Twitter10. @MaggieLaMaack (Maggie LaMaack)

Publicist, writer, LOLOMG blog editor. Having more fun than her face suggests. Tinder savant. Upper Midwest mini corn dog-eating champion. Taylor Swift of Uptown.


Perkins Twitter11. @glenperkins (Glen Perkins)

Twins closer. Saved the All-Star game for the AL. Loves to interact with fans and fanboy bloggers. Very handsome, according to what my girlfriend says constantly.


Berry Twitter12. @_omgigi_ (Gigi Berry)

Minnesota's answer to Beyoncé, but with less Jay Z and more pizza. Always looking for bearded baes, never follicle flops. Elite emoji-ing.


Krawczynski Twitter13. @APkrawczynski (Jon Krawczynski)

Associated Press basketball, baseball, and football reporter. Not the guy from "The Office." Deserves less criticism than anyone, takes criticism better than everyone.


Ampersandria Twitter14. @ampersandria (Ampersandria Ya Dummy)

Transported here from a bygone era by the comedy gods. When not in the sky, can be found at a thrift store with wings on her eyes and hot Cheetos in her mouth.


Rupar Twitter15. @atrupar (Aaron Rupar)

FOX-9 reporter, ex-City Pages blogger. Liquor Lyle's regular. Timberwolves fan. Scarf-wearer. Repressed beardo. Our best mix of actual journalism and online silliness.


Welle Twitter16. @LizWelle (Liz Welle)

Burrito lover. Puts her hair up to prepare for eating chicken wings. Legend's legend.


Lambert Twitter17. @MeatSauce1 (Paul Lambert)

KFAN-100.3 morning show co-host, nicest person in radio. Anti-trolling troll. He wails.


Heidi Twitter18. @heidi_ugh (Heidi Ugh)

Comedy skills matched only by family's Coors Light-drinking skills. Nice to old people.


Brauer Twitter19. @dbrauer (David Brauer)

Veteran guru of local media landscape. Deservedly skeptical Twins season ticket holder.


Weisenberger Twitter20. @foyobli (Megan Weisenberger)

High school volleyball superstar. Lives life one brand at a time. Tweeter of good links.


Wolfson Twitter21. @DarrenWolfson (Darren Wolfson)

KSTP-5 and 1500-ESPN regular. Frequent scoop-getter. My mom's favorite on this list.


Rayno Twitter22. @AmeliaRayno (Amelia Rayno)

Star Tribune college basketball reporter. Bourbon drinker. Non-stop Bigfoot hunter.


Guentzel Twitter23. @LindsayGuentzel (Lindsay Guentzel)

Radio and TV host. Stella's regular. Cat/wine lady. Turns old furniture into antiques.


MFloyd Twitter24. @mfloyd21 (Melissa Floyd)

World's nicest mean person. Great taste in husbands. Biff Tannen to my Marty McFly.


Nelson Twitter25. @nnelson9 (Nick Nelson)

Twins Daily blogger. White rapper. Bad at Snapchat. Bullies people enjoying cat photos.


Marthaler Twitter26. @jmarthaler (Jon Marthaler)

The Sportive podcast ringleader. Star Tribune soccer blogger. Local sports masochist.


Jones Twitter27. @bianca101 (Bianca Jones)

World's smallest person with biggest-sounding name. WWE weirdo. Drinker of bad beer.


Berardino Twitter28. @MikeBerardino (Mike Berardino)

Pioneer Press reporter. Called "a prick" by Torii Hunter. Produces most Twins content.


29. @bbroxey (Brandon Broxey)Broxey Twitter

Moved from Texas just for this list. The Sportive podcast co-host. Tight pants wearer.


Bonnes Twitter30. @TwinsGeek (John Bonnes)

Took me out for milkshakes when I was 19 years old and now won't leave me alone.


If you read this whole thing and still won't follow @AaronGleeman on Twitter you're a monster.

October 17, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Approximately one million people sent me the New York Times' "brunch is for jerks" article, but here's the thing: Combining breakfast food and booze is undeniably great. End of story.

• UFC announcer Mike Goldberg did play-by-play for the Vikings-Lions game and it was a mess, with botched names and confused calls throughout. Afterward he cursed out people on Twitter who were criticizing his performance, at which point FOX removed him from their NFL schedule.

• If this is true about Kate Mara ... well, then I quit.

• How much payroll space do the Twins have and, more importantly, will they actually spend it?

Martha Stewart vs. Gwyneth Paltrow is this generation's Notorious B.I.G. vs. Tupac.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com Dana Wessel for winning "Mrs. Arkansas International, 2014."

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we drank beer at 612 Brew and revisited our preseason predictions to see just how terrible they were.

• We also had Twins beat reporter Mike Berardino of the St. Paul Pioneer Press as our guest on "Gleeman and The Geek" two episodes ago and lots of listeners enjoyed it more than usual.

• Imagine if someone from England looked just like Aaron Rodgers and hung around Green Bay:

Tom Wrigglesworth is a quality name, too.

• I "took issue" with something a local newspaper columnist wrote about Joe Mauer and brain injuries, leading to City Pages' amusing recap and this brilliant "Douse Mauer in Gasoline and Chase Him with Matches" parody by Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman.

• Speaking of which, one year ago Neuman wrote my favorite parody ever, including this opening line: "As night-life emissaries go, one could do better than Aaron Gleeman."

Maggie "Boss Lady Yung Mags" LaMaack is one of the most underrated writers in Minnesota, this time on the subject of using Tinder to date.

• The local chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America gave Ron Gardenhire their "media good guy" award on his way out.

Andrew Friedman left the $50 million payrolls in Tampa Bay for the $250 million payrolls in Los Angeles and sent a goodbye letter to a Rays blog.

• I went to a high school journalism conference when the Final Four was here in 2001 and Bob Ryan's storytelling mesmerized me, so I enjoyed Grantland's profile of the Boston sportswriter.

• Believe it or not the Twins had many valuable players this season and I ranked them on my hypothetical team MVP ballot.

• Two all-time greats, Bill Murray and Howard Stern, had a nice long chat and it was very fun.

• You may not think so, but you'll definitely want to watch a little kid recreate Patrick Swayze's dance moves from the final scene of "Dirty Dancing":

I can do the same thing, except with Elaine Benes' dance moves in "Seinfeld."

Dax Shepard is one of the most underrated actors/funny people around and he was predictably funny/charming chatting with Marc Maron.

• I spent a week reading "Gone Girl" and wherever I put it down--on the bed, on the floor, on random places around the house--she immediately slept on it.

• On a related note, my power rankings of David Fincher movies:

1. "Seven"
2. "Fight Club"
3. "The Social Network"
4. "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button"
5. "The Game"
6. "Gone Girl"
7. "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"
8. "Panic Room"
9. "Zodiac"
10. "Alien 3"

I apologize in advance for not liking "Zodiac" more. I realize that will bother many people.

J.J. Hardy, whom the Twins basically gave away to the Orioles in 2011, signed a three-year, $40 million contract extension to remain in Baltimore.

• Thrilled that Tom Scharpling is bringing back "The Best Show" after reconsidering retirement.

• I agree with Rick Nelson's review in the Minneapolis Star Tribune: Libertine has quickly become one of my favorite restaurants for dinner and brunch.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Man who couldn't stop laughing at his own twin"
- "Sweet Martha's Cookies revenue"
- "Sylvester Stallone young beard"
- "What will happen to Rick Anderson?"
- "Jerome Felton's girlfriend"
- "What was Aaron Burr's sidekick's name?"
- "Jon Taffer pumpkin carving stencil"
- "Naked twins"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Take Me To Church" by Hozier:

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