December 31, 2014

Power Rankings: Top 30 Twin Cities Tweeters Of 2014

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I guess this is an annual thing now. Last year, in response to Maggie LaMaack ranking the "Top 20 Twin Cities Twitterers" for a City Pages article, I did my own ranking. Sure, it was controversial and ruined many friendships, but it also got people to step up their Twitter game. And that's all we should care about in this world, really. Anyway, below you'll find my updated rankings for 2014 in which I continue to say "Tweeters" instead of "Twitterers" and have expanded the list to 30.

(Note: @BJFait has been ruled ineligible for this list because her cat lives with me, but she is very funny on Twitter and also has very pretty eyes in real life. Everyone should follow her.)


Floyd Twitter1. @floyding (Zach Floyd)

Most underrated tweeter in Minnesota. Husband, father, friend of Ted Nugent. Lots of Louis C.K.-style parenting observations, but with visuals of the monsters.


Nora Purmort Twitter2. @noraborealis (Nora Purmort)

Wrote bravely, beautifully, and humorously about husband Aaron Purmort's battle with cancer and death. Mother of the world's cutest Instagram star, Ralphie.


Wessel Twitter3. @DanaWessel (Dana Wessel)

KTWIN-96.3 producer. Soccer weirdo. Bruce Springsteen aficionado. Runner of bits into the ground. No one looks better in a bandana.


Hageman Twitter4. @ParkerHageman (Parker Hageman)

Twins Daily blogger. Co-host of No Juice podcast. Go-to for scouting- and GIF-based Twins analysis. Live-tweeter of wife's driving. In possession of my elliptical machine.


Neuman Twitter5. @RandBallsStu (Steve Neuman)

Twitter-shaking switch from pseudonym to real name didn't cost any comedy. Runner of the Infinite Guest podcast network. Twinkie Town blogger. Packers fan troller.


Cameron Twitter6. @iamaromancer (Maria Cameron)

Deserves a much bigger Twitter following. Extremely funny, but also regularly writes poignant longer-form stuff. Questionable taste in boyfriends.


Swamptown Twitter7. @CSwamptown (Clarence Swamptown)

Co-host of The Sportive podcast. Rarely comes out of hiding, never reveals his real identity. Hater of tacos. Lover of firing everyone. Payroll whiner.


Rand Twitter8. @RandBall (Michael Rand)

The sun around which Minnesota's weird sports Twitter world revolves. Star Tribune digital sports editor and blogger. Elite baby/dog combo. Never played the game.


Zanatta Twitter9. @Mike_Zanatta (Mike Zanatta)

Best hair in the business. Big fan of the Timberwolves and doing pull-ups in front of windows. Pound for pound the Twin Cities' funniest sports tweeter.


LaMaack Twitter10. @MaggieLaMaack (Maggie LaMaack)

Publicist, writer, LOLOMG blog editor. Having more fun than her face suggests. Tinder savant. Upper Midwest mini corn dog-eating champion. Taylor Swift of Uptown.


Perkins Twitter11. @glenperkins (Glen Perkins)

Twins closer. Saved the All-Star game for the AL. Loves to interact with fans and fanboy bloggers. Very handsome, according to what my girlfriend says constantly.


Berry Twitter12. @_omgigi_ (Gigi Berry)

Minnesota's answer to Beyoncé, but with less Jay Z and more pizza. Always looking for bearded baes, never follicle flops. Elite emoji-ing.


Krawczynski Twitter13. @APkrawczynski (Jon Krawczynski)

Associated Press basketball, baseball, and football reporter. Not the guy from "The Office." Deserves less criticism than anyone, takes criticism better than everyone.


Ampersandria Twitter14. @ampersandria (Ampersandria Ya Dummy)

Transported here from a bygone era by the comedy gods. When not in the sky, can be found at a thrift store with wings on her eyes and hot Cheetos in her mouth.


Rupar Twitter15. @atrupar (Aaron Rupar)

FOX-9 reporter, ex-City Pages blogger. Liquor Lyle's regular. Timberwolves fan. Scarf-wearer. Repressed beardo. Our best mix of actual journalism and online silliness.


Welle Twitter16. @LizWelle (Liz Welle)

Burrito lover. Puts her hair up to prepare for eating chicken wings. Legend's legend.


Lambert Twitter17. @MeatSauce1 (Paul Lambert)

KFAN-100.3 morning show co-host, nicest person in radio. Anti-trolling troll. He wails.


Heidi Twitter18. @heidi_ugh (Heidi Ugh)

Comedy skills matched only by family's Coors Light-drinking skills. Nice to old people.


Brauer Twitter19. @dbrauer (David Brauer)

Veteran guru of local media landscape. Deservedly skeptical Twins season ticket holder.


Weisenberger Twitter20. @foyobli (Megan Weisenberger)

High school volleyball superstar. Lives life one brand at a time. Tweeter of good links.


Wolfson Twitter21. @DarrenWolfson (Darren Wolfson)

KSTP-5 and 1500-ESPN regular. Frequent scoop-getter. My mom's favorite on this list.


Rayno Twitter22. @AmeliaRayno (Amelia Rayno)

Star Tribune college basketball reporter. Bourbon drinker. Non-stop Bigfoot hunter.


Guentzel Twitter23. @LindsayGuentzel (Lindsay Guentzel)

Radio and TV host. Stella's regular. Cat/wine lady. Turns old furniture into antiques.


MFloyd Twitter24. @mfloyd21 (Melissa Floyd)

World's nicest mean person. Great taste in husbands. Biff Tannen to my Marty McFly.


Nelson Twitter25. @nnelson9 (Nick Nelson)

Twins Daily blogger. White rapper. Bad at Snapchat. Bullies people enjoying cat photos.


Marthaler Twitter26. @jmarthaler (Jon Marthaler)

The Sportive podcast ringleader. Star Tribune soccer blogger. Local sports masochist.


Jones Twitter27. @bianca101 (Bianca Jones)

World's smallest person with biggest-sounding name. WWE weirdo. Drinker of bad beer.


Berardino Twitter28. @MikeBerardino (Mike Berardino)

Pioneer Press reporter. Called "a prick" by Torii Hunter. Produces most Twins content.


29. @bbroxey (Brandon Broxey)Broxey Twitter

Moved from Texas just for this list. The Sportive podcast co-host. Tight pants wearer.


Bonnes Twitter30. @TwinsGeek (John Bonnes)

Took me out for milkshakes when I was 19 years old and now won't leave me alone.


If you read this whole thing and still won't follow @AaronGleeman on Twitter you're a monster.

October 17, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Approximately one million people sent me the New York Times' "brunch is for jerks" article, but here's the thing: Combining breakfast food and booze is undeniably great. End of story.

• UFC announcer Mike Goldberg did play-by-play for the Vikings-Lions game and it was a mess, with botched names and confused calls throughout. Afterward he cursed out people on Twitter who were criticizing his performance, at which point FOX removed him from their NFL schedule.

• If this is true about Kate Mara ... well, then I quit.

• How much payroll space do the Twins have and, more importantly, will they actually spend it?

Martha Stewart vs. Gwyneth Paltrow is this generation's Notorious B.I.G. vs. Tupac.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com Dana Wessel for winning "Mrs. Arkansas International, 2014."

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we drank beer at 612 Brew and revisited our preseason predictions to see just how terrible they were.

• We also had Twins beat reporter Mike Berardino of the St. Paul Pioneer Press as our guest on "Gleeman and The Geek" two episodes ago and lots of listeners enjoyed it more than usual.

• Imagine if someone from England looked just like Aaron Rodgers and hung around Green Bay:

Tom Wrigglesworth is a quality name, too.

• I "took issue" with something a local newspaper columnist wrote about Joe Mauer and brain injuries, leading to City Pages' amusing recap and this brilliant "Douse Mauer in Gasoline and Chase Him with Matches" parody by Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman.

• Speaking of which, one year ago Neuman wrote my favorite parody ever, including this opening line: "As night-life emissaries go, one could do better than Aaron Gleeman."

Maggie "Boss Lady Yung Mags" LaMaack is one of the most underrated writers in Minnesota, this time on the subject of using Tinder to date.

• The local chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America gave Ron Gardenhire their "media good guy" award on his way out.

Andrew Friedman left the $50 million payrolls in Tampa Bay for the $250 million payrolls in Los Angeles and sent a goodbye letter to a Rays blog.

• I went to a high school journalism conference when the Final Four was here in 2001 and Bob Ryan's storytelling mesmerized me, so I enjoyed Grantland's profile of the Boston sportswriter.

• Believe it or not the Twins had many valuable players this season and I ranked them on my hypothetical team MVP ballot.

• Two all-time greats, Bill Murray and Howard Stern, had a nice long chat and it was very fun.

• You may not think so, but you'll definitely want to watch a little kid recreate Patrick Swayze's dance moves from the final scene of "Dirty Dancing":

I can do the same thing, except with Elaine Benes' dance moves in "Seinfeld."

Dax Shepard is one of the most underrated actors/funny people around and he was predictably funny/charming chatting with Marc Maron.

• I spent a week reading "Gone Girl" and wherever I put it down--on the bed, on the floor, on random places around the house--she immediately slept on it.

• On a related note, my power rankings of David Fincher movies:

1. "Seven"
2. "Fight Club"
3. "The Social Network"
4. "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button"
5. "The Game"
6. "Gone Girl"
7. "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"
8. "Panic Room"
9. "Zodiac"
10. "Alien 3"

I apologize in advance for not liking "Zodiac" more. I realize that will bother many people.

J.J. Hardy, whom the Twins basically gave away to the Orioles in 2011, signed a three-year, $40 million contract extension to remain in Baltimore.

• Thrilled that Tom Scharpling is bringing back "The Best Show" after reconsidering retirement.

• I agree with Rick Nelson's review in the Minneapolis Star Tribune: Libertine has quickly become one of my favorite restaurants for dinner and brunch.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Man who couldn't stop laughing at his own twin"
- "Sweet Martha's Cookies revenue"
- "Sylvester Stallone young beard"
- "What will happen to Rick Anderson?"
- "Jerome Felton's girlfriend"
- "What was Aaron Burr's sidekick's name?"
- "Jon Taffer pumpkin carving stencil"
- "Naked twins"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Take Me To Church" by Hozier:

June 13, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• I'm thrilled that friend of AG.com Randball's Stu/Steve Neuman has been hired by American Public Media and Minnesota Public Radio to "write words for them on various projects." Thrilled!

• This is exactly why I had to block my mom on Facebook last year. Seriously.

• Old friend Matthew LeCroy is now the Nationals' bench coach and he's doing some big things in Washington involving weird sandwiches.

• Topps is producing short-printed cards featuring sabermetric statistics on the back.

Jon Hamm is a big St. Louis Cardinals fan and now they're giving him a bobblehead doll night.

• Did the Twins make a good move by signing Kendrys Morales? I'm glad you asked.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked a ton of about the Morales signing and analyzed the Twins' draft picks and John Bonnes' dance moves in equal detail.

• Speaking of which, as promised on the podcast here's an extended video of Bonnes on stage at the KFAN "rube party" dancing like a maniac:

There are actually two more videos just like that, including one that also implicates "Gleeman and The Geek" producer Kate Butler, but the world has probably seen enough.

• I'm studying "How To Parallel Park Perfectly, Every Time" because I'm the absolute worst at it.

• Women are learning to be grossed out by me at younger and younger ages these days.

• Good to see Michael Jordan can still have this effect on people too young to have actually grown up watching him play basketball.

Yoenis Cespedes made an incredible throw. And then he made another one the next night.

• You'll never guess what Jesse Spector of The Sporting News thought of the Twins' television announcing duo.

Greg Howard's lengthy Deadspin piece about Jason Whitlock, ESPN, and "Black Grantland" was fascinating and, if even mostly true, pretty damning.

• In honor of the World Cup, let the Minnesota United players teach you the rules of soccer.

• Related note: My mentor Dana Wessel is a huge soccer fan--to the point of madness, really--so you should follow him on Twitter during the World Cup. (And also just because he's very funny.)

• Congratulations to my cousin and Hopkins high school pitcher/infielder Josh Gallop for being named to the Academic All-State baseball team. He's also easily the least annoying person in my immediate family, although the competition there is admittedly far less steep.

• I wish I still had this entire outfit.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Kevin Slowey engaged"
- "Curtis Granderson boxers or briefs?"
- "Joe Mauer batting average"
- "Drug known as Kubel"
- "What did Aaron Gleeman die from?"
- "What happened to Scott Erickson?"
- "Bobby Womack baseball"
- "What did the Twins get Derek Jeter?"
- "Drew Butera personal catcher"
- "Anna Kendrick socks"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Beautiful" by Miguel and Mariah Carey:


This week's blog content is sponsored by R.F. Moeller Jeweler's repair department, which is recognized as the premier jewelry repair facility in the Twin Cities. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

May 2, 2014

Link-O-Rama

Randball's Stu is writing under the silly, made up-looking pen name Steve Neuman now and did an excellent piece for MinnPost.

Maggie LaMaack interviewed one of my all-time favorite people, Dana Wessel, who showed exactly why he's the best online and in person.

• As someone who thinks closers are tremendously overrated Joe Posnanski's piece on the timelessness of ninth-inning leads was an interesting one.

• Evil genius Dave DeWit made an R&B version of the "Gleeman and The Geek" theme song.

• Old friend Mike Redmond might be up to some interesting tricks in Miami.

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode will be our last time on KFAN for a while because of the Wild's playoff run.

• My first and probably last appearance on a red carpet was captured by the photographer at the City Pages party, although he lied to me about my shoes not being featured in the picture:

city pages red carpet

Shockingly, they didn't choose me as one of the best-dressed people at the party.

• Sure, plenty of professional athletes live crazy lifestyles, but Denard Span is out of control.

• Having had a major crush on Jhene Aiko for a while now I'm happy to see her receive some much-deserved national attention.

• I'm thinking about asking Glen Perkins if he wants to help me get dates this same way.

• Speaking of which, friend of AG.com Lindsay Guentzel has a show called "Beyond Baseball" and the latest episode features an interview with Perkins. You should watch it. Twice, maybe.

• People say I write and tweet about a lot of dumb stuff lately, but this is from three years ago.

Kevin Frandsen made an incredible/weird/lucky non-catch and then referenced Smalls from "The Sandlot."

• Thrillist ranked the top eight macaroni and cheese dishes in Minneapolis and I've eaten five of them within the past month.

• Astros right-hander Jerome Williams playing catch and goofing around with a young fan before a game in Seattle made me smile:

Five minutes of Williams' time becomes a lifetime of telling that story for the kid.

• Blurred name Gchat is back, with big plans for my ACL surgery rehab.

Amanda Brooke Perrin was a great guest on "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Dave Shumka and Graham Clark, which continues to be my favorite podcast.

• New restaurant recommendation: Heyday on 27th and Lyndale. Great, interesting food with a fun vibe and extremely nice people, plus a quality bar too. Definitely worth checking out.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Kate Upton in Minnesota"
- "Odds of having Twins after 36"
- "Anthony LaPanta salary"
- "Paul Allen dance video KFAN"
- "Old programs on TLC with Parker Hageman"
- "Marc Gasol shirtless"
- "First base in baseball"
- "What can you buy with 150 pounds?"
- "Aaron Gleeman walk-up song"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Regulate" by Warren G and Nate Dogg, which blew my 11-year-old mind when it came out 20 years ago this week and still holds up:

March 14, 2014

Link-O-Rama

Who said it: Tom Waits or Rust Cohle?

• Here's the kicker to this story about 19-year-old Bucks rookie Giannis Antetokounmpo that got a lot of headlines: The couple in the story is my aunt and uncle. Seriously.

• As a Gchat power user I loved Julie Buntin's look at flirting and dating via instant message.

• What happens when you put dogs in a photo booth together? Maximum cuteness, that's what.

Jim Leyland told a great story that involves former Twins catcher Tom Prince and the line "I looked up and the f***er took off!"

• Last week I visited the Hopkins high school newspaper class and they were excited to cover the state basketball tournament. They got great stuff from a crazy championship game.

• Check out the housewarming gift that Link-O-Rama regular (and patriot) Dana Wessel got me.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode a drunk woman interrupted us several times to show us her butt and I attempted to flirt with a waitress, plus we talked about spring training.

Miguel Sano underwent Tommy John elbow surgery Wednesday and recorded a video message from his hospital bed while being prepped to go under the knife:

Somehow that made me even sadder about the whole thing.

Elisabeth Moss describing her failed marriage to Fred Armisen: "It was extremely traumatic and awful and horrible."

• It turns out that students drink and do drugs at the University of Minnesota.

• As someone who uses Twitter favorites for both good and evil, I enjoyed this detailed analysis.

• They should do this same thing for work-at-home bloggers too.

• Country Bar, which I've been talking about buying with John Bonnes and Parker Hageman for approximately 10 years now, has officially closed. And we're still too chicken to buy it.

• One of the all-time great PR e-mails I've even gotten.

• Every woman I know will be in attendance at First Avenue for this event next month.

Every few days I tweet the same stupid "is [famous person] on Tinder?" joke, but apparently now it's actually coming true.

• My latest installment of Twins prospect rankings includes a bunch of high-upside teenagers.

• I'm just hoping that they replace the H&M with an Old Navy to really shake things up.

• Rangers manager Ron Washington paid a fine from MLB with 20,000 pennies.

• Few things are funnier than a little kid very seriously calling a parent by their first name and generally just acting like an old person:

Cupcakes are serious business.

• For my latest NBCSports.com season preview I tried to figure out if the Royals are finally ready to contend in the AL Central.

Kyle Kinane was a great guest on "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Dave Shumka and Graham Clark, including shrewdly noting that baseball "is a sport that was invented for cats originally."

• I've been doing a lot of matchmaking lately, with mixed results, but my proudest one is for sure hooking up "The Sportive" podcast with Amelia Rayno of the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

Alan Sepinwall did a good post-finale interview with "True Detective" creator Nic Pizzolatto.

• Restaurant recommendation: Blue Nile, an Ethiopian place in Minneapolis with good food, a nice staff, and a long beer list.

Paul "Meatsauce" Lambert from KFAN is doing stand-up comedy at the New Hope Cinema Grill tonight and tomorrow night. Go check it out. And be nice if you see me there.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Aaron Gleeman on Tinder"
- "Has Jon Taffer been in Minnesota?"
- "Sid Hartman net worth"
- "Greg Gagne net worth"
- "Lizzy Caplan podcast appearance"
- "MLB tongue photos"
- "Scott Conant naked shirtless"
- "Money on trees"
- "Luis Rivas designated hitter"

• Finally, because I saw them at The Cedar last weekend they were great this week's AG.com-approved music video is "You Go Down Smooth" by Lake Street Dive:

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