February 7, 2014

Link-O-Rama

Jerry Seinfeld and Howard Stern bickering like Jewish grandmothers is what my entire life has been building to until now.

• Pawn America is selling an unnamed person's 1987 World Series ring, which makes me sad.

• A lot of people say to me "I wish I could hear you on more podcasts talking about more bullshit topics while drinking more whiskey." Well, guess what people who don't actually exist? It's your lucky day! I was a guest on "The Sportive" podcast and it was a train wreck. (In a good way.)

• I really enjoyed and mostly agreed with Luke O'Neil's article about what choosing to favorite something on Twitter actually signifies.

Kara Nesvig of Vita.mn told the compelling, much-needed story of Minnesota's true heroes.

• Even after finding a new place to live I'm still addicted to looking at new apartment listings on Craigslist and some of them are absolutely amazing.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we debated Ricky Nolasco vs. Matt Garza, dreamed about Byron Buxton, and discussed swapping wives. It was a weird one.

• Years ago I was told that a decade-old video existed of Twins Daily blogger Parker Hageman appearing on a TLC reality show called "Second Chance." Ever since then I've been trying to talk him and various members of his family into posting that video online and now, just days before his wedding to the woman who appeared alongside him on the reality show, my prayers have finally been answered. Enjoy:

I kind of want to break the whole thing down frame-by-frame, like the Zapruder film.

Derek Jeter lives a rough life sometimes.

This news has me thinking about canceling my annual State Fair on-air radio date.

• Netflix has a new show coming out in which Coach Taylor and Lindsay Weir play brother and sister, so I'm basically a television producer now.

• I smiled a lot looking through the pictures from Howard Stern's birthday party.

Dana Wessel is apparently spreading the Heggies pizza gospel via the super-believable pen name "Ryan Burk" now.

• Fat quarterback Jared Lorenzen is now fatter and even more quarterbacky.

• "His submission was deemed 'weirder than balls' so they had Gleeman write it up instead. Here is the rejected preview."

• My HardballTalk blog-mate Matthew Pouliot did projections for all 30 starting rotations and ranks the Twins second-to-last despite all their offseason spending.

• Why am I moving? Another day, another police chase in my neck of the suburban woods.

• The Onion: "Report: Girlfriend's parents could hear everything."

• I want nothing more than to simply walk into this classroom and yell "Rihanna is better!" And then run, obviously.

• On the other hand, Possum Plows' latest video finally makes me appreciate what some of the Beyonce fuss is all about:

Related note: We may soon have a new "Gleeman and The Geek" theme song. Stay tuned.

• I screwed up and waited too long to buy Lake Street Dive tickets for The Cedar next month. Anyone have a hookup? I'd gladly pay full price for a pair of tickets.

Keith Law's "Top Chef" recaps were must-reads all season and his finale analysis was spot on.

• Me too, man. Me too. "Penguins are so fed up with the miserable winter weather they are being given antidepressants."

• Season 2 hasn't started yet, but Netflix already renewed "House Of Cards" for Season 3 and production begins soon.

John Mulaney explaining Jewish women always makes me laugh.

• "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Graham Clark and Dave Shumka is consistently my favorite podcast and Nicole Passmore was a particularly entertaining guest.

• "Broad City" is a great show that everyone should be watching.

• Brunch spot recommendation: Victor's 1959 Cafe, a tiny, quirky place with good Cuban food and interesting mimosas.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Woman ate 350 chicken wings"
- "Image of get-together"
- "Bobby Bland baseball"
- "What's wrong with my elliptical machine?"
- "Chads and Brads"
- "General Bill Smith"
- "Pizza Hut five-pound deal"
- "Aaron Gleeman moving"
- "Aaron Gleeman in Uptown"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is John Newman singing a live version of "Love Me Again":

November 1, 2013

Link-O-Rama

Christian Ponder sure seems miserable, reenacting great movie scenes with his great-looking wife for Halloween. Poor guy.

• Here's my follow-up question: What kind of maniac carpets over a giant, hand-painted Monopoly board in the first place?

Maggie LaMaack of L'étoile Magazine interviewed me about Twitter addiction, over-sharing on the internet, my favorite people to follow, and my idea for a new kind of online dating. I'm always looking for any opportunity to talk about something other than baseball, so it was a fun chat. Also, you should follow LaMaack on Twitter because she's great even though we're currently feuding.

• As a wise man once said: "Double-check the quotes you get off the internet."

• I'm officially part of The One Percent.

• I went to a Jason Isbell concert at the Varsity Theater last Friday night and it was amazing. Best show I've ever seen and I can't imagine someone being better. So much talent and energy and passion (plus his wife, Amanda Shires, is an awesome, spectacular-looking fiddle player). I'm already looking forward to Isbell's return to Minnesota at First Avenue in February.

UPDATE: Success!

• I'm crushed by news that Tom Scharpling is ending "The Best Show On WFMU" after 13 years. It's been such a brilliant, unique listening experience and Scharpling is one of my heroes.

• Congrats to Colin Wyers, who's leaving Baseball Prospectus for a gig with the Houston Astros. I was sitting next to Wyers in Anaheim for Mike Trout's first career hit and I remember thinking at the time that two of the three people involved in this story will go on to big things.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we discussed Paul Molitor joining the Twins' coaching staff and Terry Ryan's maddening quotes before welcoming special guest Randball's Stu for the final 30 minutes of pre-Isbell excitement (and confusion, for John Bonnes).

• Halloween costume baseball at San Diego State is fun:

Maybe the Twins should try wearing costumes next season. Can't be much worse.

• Like everyone else in life, Robert De Niro really just wants to be understood.

• Would it be weird if I brought this on dates? Just want to get it right, you know?

• I'm not sure that any of these "reasons you should love guys with beards" actually make much sense, but we can use all the help we can get.

• I'd laugh, but this could easily be me with the Twins some day.

• The bad news for Nate Burleson is that he crashed his car and broke his arm while trying to keep a pizza from sliding off the seat. The good news is that he's been offered a free year's supply of pizza. The worst news is that the pizza is DiGiorno.

• My mom sent me this link and said: "Your room is still available!"

• TwinsFest is switching from the Metrodome to Target Field, so the Twins are capping attendance among lots of other changes. We're still planning to host a Twins Daily/AG.com get-together.

LaVelle E. Neal III of the Minneapolis Star Tribune is the new Baseball Writers Association of America president.

• Video rental stores were a massive part of my childhood, but that window has closed.

• Why would a 25-year-old quit baseball after making his MLB debut?

• This is what I'll be doing everywhere I go throughout Movember.

• I'm totally useless in the kitchen, but this can't possibly be real can it? Obviously the music adds a whole new dimension.

• Probably going to ask Allison Williams to recap my podcast like this too:

Also, hopefully "Gleeman and The Geek" listeners realize that I am sparing you some details.

• What exactly do the Twins have in Brian Dozier?

Ron Swanson fans will love this.

Johnny Knoxville's chat with Marc Maron was lots of fun and led to me discovering through research (Wikipedia) that his real name is Philip Clapp.

• I retweeted this Sam Miller masterpiece during the ninth inning of every Red Sox playoff game.

• "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Graham Clark and Dave Shumka is my favorite podcast and this week they had on their most consistently delightful guest in Alicia Tobin.

Amber Tamblyn and Todd Glass were an amazing guest combo on "Comedy Bang Bang" with Scott Aukerman.

• I listened to this whole thing just to hear them say my name.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Head size contest"
- "Cory Cove is a punk"
- "Who is Big Papi?"
- "Brett Favre shirtless"
- "Guide to sports podcasting"
- "Best shoes for men over 400 pounds"
- "How fat is he?"
- "Tom Scharpling vs. Howard Stern"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is Link-O-Rama favorite Possum Plows doing an acoustic cover version of "Don't Kill My Vibe" by Kendrick Lamar:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Twins Daily's new "2014 Offseason Handbook" featuring everything you need to prepare for the Twins' winter moves for just $6.95. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

October 11, 2013

Link-O-Rama

• This week the New York Times' "fashion and style" section featured an article by Matt Haber about Minnesotans trying to date in Uptown. It was met mostly with derision, as locals felt it was cheesy and cliche-filled. And it definitely was, as the intro makes very clear:

As night-life emissaries go, one could do worse than Robert John Wayne, a 31-year-old artist here who happily told a recent visitor about everything from an indigenous delicacy called the Juicy Lucy (a burger with cheese baked into the patty) to what women want, something Mr. Wayne should know, seeing as how he's dating four of them.

"Nobody's exclusive," he said "That's what dating is." Mr. Wayne, who described his work as "graffiti realism," was at Mortimer's, a wood-paneled bar on Lyndale Avenue in the swath of Minneapolis known as Uptown.

However, as someone who started hanging out in Uptown recently I mostly found it amusing and made a joke about what a quote of mine would've looked like in the article. And then a few days later friend of AG.com Randball's Stu wrote a brilliant parody of the Times article starring local sports bloggers for the Minneapolis Star Tribune's site. I'd suggest reading the Times version first and then reading Stu's version, because it's a masterful spoof, but here's how it begins:

As night-life emissaries go, one could do better than Aaron Gleeman, a 30-year-old Minnetonka sports blogger who wearily told a recent visitor about everything from a baseball statistic called FIP (Fielding Independent Pitching) to what women want, something Mr. Gleeman shouldn't know, seeing as how he recently asked one if he could live-tweet their date.

"It's an endless series of half-starts and missed opportunities," he said. "That's what dating is." Mr. Gleeman, who described his work as "sitting at my computer and writing about baseball as I wait for death's sweet embrace," was at Stella's, a multi-level bar in the swath of Minneapolis known as Uptown.

And then it just keeps building from there. As one of the main characters I'm biased, but it's one of the funniest things I've ever read and so perfectly matches the tone and structure of the New York Times version. My sincere hope is that for the rest of my life whenever anyone Googles me that article is the first result they see. Also, you should follow Stu on Twitter for more genius.

• Here's a non-parody response to the New York Times dating-in-Minnesota article that's also interesting. I'm definitely very guilty of No. 2 on her list and thought for a second she might be talking about me with the quote: "We had a really awesome date and then he bailed on the second date citing 'baseball' as the reason."

• So the Twins are hiring a "full-time data engineer" and OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE COMMENTS.

• Going back to read the stuff about Christian Ponder from right after the Vikings drafted him is quite an experience.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked a ton about Ron Gardenhire, sung the praises of 612 Brew, and unknowingly had our picture taken from across the bar.

• I'm probably Hawk Harrelson's biggest/only fan in Minnesota, but Awful Announcing's lengthy compilation of the season's best "Sad Hawk" moments is undeniably magical:

Harrelson is the Vin Scully of freaking out on the air when things go against the White Sox.

• Speaking of which, Scully will record your outgoing voicemail message for $299 and the money goes to Autism charity. "Hello, this is Vin Scully. You’ve reached Aaron, but there’s zero chance he wants to talk to you, or anyone, on the phone. Seriously, just text him. But leave a message if you want to, I guess."

• Scully's radio call of Juan Uribe's series-winning homer was predictably lovable.

• No one ever listens to me about John Mayer, but maybe you'll listen to Molly Lambert and Tess Lynch.

• Seriously, are any of you even real?

• Twins Daily's annual "Offseason Handbook" is available for presale, so order now and you can get tons of great content featuring analysis of free agent and trade targets, payroll breakdowns, and organizational depth charts for just $4.95. Not only is it a worthwhile product for a very fair price, buying the "Offseason Handbook" also supports all the free content John Bonnes, Parker Hageman, Nick Nelson, and Seth Stohs churn out at Twins Daily all season.

• Hageman's year-end collection of Twins numbers has lots of interesting tidbits.

• I'm not on Tinder, in part because I have a Blackberry and in part because it sounds awful, but if I were on it I'd follow this guy's lead and exclusively talk to women in rap lyrics.

David Ortiz celebrating with Koji Uehara is not safe for work.

• America's highest-paid sportswriter.

• It might be time to re-think America's drug laws now that they're hurting our chubby comedians.

Aubrey Plaza behaved around Chris Bosh the same way I'd behave around Aubrey Plaza.

• In addition to being one half of my favorite podcast, Dave Shumka also writes funny stuff for CBC Music, like how WebMD would diagnose Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus based on their lyrics.

• Take two minutes and see why Jen Kirkman is great:

Related: My mom really liked that video.

Michael Rand is now shooting daily videos for the Minneapolis Star Tribune's website and his latest captures the pure, unadulterated Dana Wessel Experience.

Gabe Vodicka of Flagpole wrote a really good article about Jason Isbell's success as a solo artist, struggles with substance abuse, and songwriting prowess. I'm going to see Isbell at the Varsity Theater in a couple weeks and couldn't be more excited about it.

• How much payroll space do the Twins have and will they actually spend it?

This exchange made me chuckle. Funny how fast it goes from strong opinion nationally to being nice locally.

• Also: Presented without comment, other than to say those all occurred within 24 hours.

Amy Poehler wrote about working at an ice cream parlor for The New Yorker.

Marc Maron's new stand-up comedy special "Thinky Pain" is now available on Netflix and I love that the first person you see and hear is Tom Scharpling giving a pep talk.

• I enjoyed Todd Barry's chat with Natasha Leggero.

• Does anyone in or around Green Bay have any leads on lodging for Packers-Vikings weekend next month? I'm thinking about driving there with a bunch of doofuses, but hotels are all booked up and we'd rather not make a trek from somewhere like Appleton. We're willing to get creative.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Professional baseball duos"
- "Aaron Gleeman hot wife"
- "What if I eat Green Giant steamers every night?"
- "Nick Punto head-first slide"
- "Influential conservative podcasts"
- "Aaron gettin fat"
- "0.25 pounds in one day is how many pounds in one year?"
- "Lori Loughlin socks"

• Finally, because I stumbled across this video and immediately fell in love with both the singer and her acoustic rendition of the Whitney Houston song this week's AG.com-approved music video is Possum Plow's cover of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody":


Interested in sponsoring a week of AG.com and advertising your product, service, local business, or website directly to thousands of readers each day? Click here for details.

August 9, 2013

Link-O-Rama

• Reservations for the September 14 light rail pub crawl/Twins game are about to close, so this the last chance to sign up for a day of bar-hopping and baseball-watching with me, John Bonnes, Parker Hageman, Nick Nelson, and various other internetters of note. We're going to have a great time before, during, and after the Saturday night Twins-Rays game at Target Field, so go get signed up and don't spend the rest of your life full of regret.

• Deadspin has been taking votes on the best and worst baseball beat writers in each division and now that they've gotten to the AL Central surely AG.com readers have some thoughts.

• Now we know why Smalls wasn't involved in "The Sandlot" reunion at Target Field earlier this season: He's too busy head-butting police officers.

• I'm mostly not a big fan of Vine videos, but sometimes they're impossible not to love.

• "Gang Bang Organizer" is a Hall of Fame business card title. And who knew this type of thing was going on in Bloomington of all places?

Michael Beasley takes a pretty good mugshot, although I suppose that comes with practice.

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode provides an example of what I sound like on no sleep, hungover, and with a serious case of whiskey throat.

• My annual recap of the SABR convention includes the usual photos of nerds and stories of adults acting like idiots that you've come to expect, plus some Philadelphia stuff too. For instance:

socks and me tweeting2

Looking through the pictures hammers home how amazing it is that women are attracted to men.

• Needless to say that this was not an issue at the SABR convention.

• While at the SABR convention I sipped a beer in the hotel bar and recorded a podcast with one of my favorite people, Carson Cistulli of Fan Graphs Audio. I really enjoyed our conversation and I think anyone who likes me even a little bit will enjoy it too.

• One day after chatting with me Cistulli interviewed Diamondbacks beat reporter Nick Piecoro from the Arizona Republic and asked him: "You gonna kill Aaron Gleeman and take his place? You gonna wear his body like skin?"

• Nothing like a 5,000-word answer to the question "what drives writers to drink?"

Andrew Wagaman of the Minneapolis Star Tribune has everything you ever wanted to know about the "Kiss Cam" at Target Field.

• I'm assuming that women will be impressed and not at all weirded out if I cover every wall in my house with these, right?

Chipper Jones quit Twitter because of "too much hate and too many trolls."

• Stand-up comedian Christina Walkinshaw has been writing very funny recaps of dates with people she met on Tinder.

• When it comes to the Twins sometimes it's tough to tell parody from reality.

• Why didn't the Twins move anyone at the trade deadline? I'm glad you asked.

• I'm guessing that Terry Ryan doesn't quote Jay Z very often.

• Start from the bottom of this true masterpiece of modern storytelling.

Jamey Carroll throwing a scoreless inning Monday against the Royals is one of my favorite moments of the Twins' season:

jamey carroll pitching

I'm a sucker for brunettes wearing glasses and position players on the mound.

• My weekly half-hour chat with Paul Allen on KFAN ended with an interesting hypothetical trade scenario about Miguel Sano and I'm still not sure how I'd answer it.

• I've never watched "The X-Files," but it's easy to see why people love Gillian Anderson. She's incredibly good as the star of the British miniseries "The Fall" that's available on Netflix.

Amy Poehler's interview with Jeff Garlin showed again why she's the best. My favorite part is Garlin telling the story of meeting her for the first time: "I couldn't believe you existed. I was like, what the f*** is that? How the f*** does that happen?"

Erica Sigurdson is a reliably great guest on the reliably great "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Dave Shumka and Graham Clark. Consistently my favorite podcast for two years now.

• Re-watching "The Sopranos" update: Miles Straume from "Lost" helps Junior Soprano run the poker game in the rehab center.

• Very happy to see longtime AG.com reader and Minnesota Daily alum Derek Wetmore hired as 1500-ESPN's new web editor. He's a great choice to fill Tom Pelissero's big shoes.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Oscar De La Hoya hair transplant"
- "Jon Taffer grow hair"
- "Mila Kunis in Minnesota"
- "Who is Clarence Swamptown?"
- "Nude pictures of Denard Robinson"
- "What are weapons grade soup bones?"
- "Does anyone love Delmon Young?"
- "Orioles players with braces in their teeth"
- "What did Fat Joe do to lose 100 pounds?"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Motown Philly" by Boyz II Men:


This week's blog content is sponsored by the Twins Daily light rail pub crawl/Twins game, where you can join Aaron Gleeman, John Bonnes, Parker Hageman, Nick Nelson, and Seth Stohs for a day of bar-hopping and baseball on September 14. Space is limited, so book your spot.

July 12, 2013

Link-O-Rama

Robby Incmikoski is back in our lives! Missing you, buddy.

• It's been a rough week for Oswaldo Arcia, who struck out a bunch of times, got featured on Deadspin, and then proved that he isn't Bo Jackson.

Forbes' list of the 10 highest-paid comedians makes me feel sad about our country's collective sense of humor, although at least Louis C.K. is getting rich.

• I'd have lost so much money buying Lauryn Hill stock in 1998. One of the best-looking people ever, two of the best albums of the 1990s by age 23, and then ... nothing. I'm putting together a team to break her out of jail.

• One of the odder examples of Torii Hunter, media darling.

• Last month's party bus went so well that we're opening things up to the blog-reading, podcast-listening public with a light rail bar crawl and Twins game. Sign-ups start next week.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode John Bonnes realized he did something very stupid in the middle of the podcast and then I took a picture of it.

• "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke loses a little something when not attached to the uncensored music video, but this version might be even better:

Actually, maybe every music video should just be remade with that same footage.

• FSN is taking applications for a new Fox Sports North Girl and I'm told that my idea to start an internet campaign to get me the job is a no-go, so actual qualified candidates can apply here.

• "Minnetonka Man" is back in the news.

• How secure can Ron Gardenhire's job be if the Twins have a third straight 90-loss season?

Dave Shumka, whose show "Stop Podcasting Yourself" is my favorite podcast among the 40 or so I listen to regularly, was nearly shot in the head by someone who later shot themselves. It's a harrowing story, the details of which Shumka went into further on this week's episode.

• My mom's favorite news of the week.

• In one of the most spectacular plays you'll ever see, Carlos Gomez robbed Joey Votto of a two-run, go-ahead homer with two outs in the ninth inning. My favorite part is Votto repeatedly screaming at the umpire to "check his glove!" because he can't believe it.

• My weight loss has made an impact internationally.

• There's no doubt that chubby Chris Pratt is funnier, but this is still damn impressive.

• One of the better e-mails from a PR person I've ever gotten.

• It depressed me how many of these "30 Signs You're Almost 30" hit home with me and then I got even sadder after remembering that I'm already 30.

• Twins Daily blogger Seth Stohs threw out the first pitch at a Cedar Rapids Kernels game:

He's now the Twins' third starter.

Baseball America's midseason top 50 prospects list had Byron Buxton at No. 1 and Miguel Sano at No. 3. How rare is it for one team to have multiple prospects in the top five?

Elisha Cuthbert, who held the Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com title from 2004-2006, got married to NHL player Dion Phaneuf.

Brandon Belt joined some rare company by going 0-for-8 with a platinum sombrero.

• Nationals shortstop Ian Desmond shaved his goatee between innings of a game.

Anna Benson was arrested for putting on a bullet-proof vest and raiding ex-husband Kris Benson's house with a gun and a metal baton.

Alison Agosti's dating advice has me considering a new sport: "My roommate is on a kickball team and everybody has sex with everybody."

• I finally figured out a way to become a television superstar.

• I laughed: "Ron Wehking, 68, the last known optimistic Twins fan, finally gave up on the 2013 Twins on Thursday afternoon."

• My weekly half-hour chat with Paul Allen on KFAN included the usual silliness, some gambling talk, and a shoutout to Phil Miller of the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

• You don't see many comedians go on talk shows and tell one five-minute joke, but Jay Larson did exactly that on "Conan" and killed:

Larson also co-hosts a good podcast with Ryan Sickler called "The Crab Feast."

Terry Ryan answered about 500 questions from Darren Wolfson of 1500ESPN.com.

• I saw the trailer for Spike Lee's upcoming movie "Oldboy" and it's so up my alley that I watched the Korean version on Netflix just to prepare myself.

• "Jordan, Jesse, Go!" is one of my favorite podcasts and Jen Kirkman is always an excellent guest on any podcast, so this week's episode was great.

Ben Schwartz, who plays Jean-Ralphio Saperstein on "Parks and Recreation" and is also in a bunch of movies, was a very funny chat partner for Paul F. Tompkins.

• Some guy registered on MinnPost just to make this comment.

• People in Milwaukee should go see Carson Cistulli and Dayn Perry read poetry on July 20.

• This has nothing to do with anything, but remember that time Kim Kardashian met Drew Butera and Matt Capps?

• If you're interested in sponsoring AG.com the next two weeks are open. Details here.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Robby Incmikoski real name"
- "Minnesota Twins donuts"
- "Aaron Gleeman e-mail"
- "Anderson Silva baseball"
- "Matt Harvey boxers or briefs?"
- "How big of a pizza can I eat to lose pounds?"
- "Roy Smalley hair"
- "John Sharkman"
- "Bert Blyleven can't get into Canada"
- "Glen Perkins dating Aaron Gleeman"

• This week's AG.com-approved music video is "Doo Wop (That Thing)" by Lauryn Hill:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Curt's Salsa, a locally owned salsa company that believes in fresh ingredients and rooting for the little guy. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

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