AaronGleeman.com

• I'd say Otis Nixon's mugshot is a pretty compelling argument against using crack cocaine, but even in his baseball-playing prime he always looked 60 years old.

• Glen Perkins' sabermetric legend continues to grow. Not only did he go through his advanced stats one-by-one and explain them all, he's trying to convert other Twins pitchers into stat-heads.

• Like that old saying goes, be careful whose urine you borrow.

• See, now this is why I'm scared to sign up for J-Date.

• Science is cool and all, but I've got about 15 years of personal evidence to the contrary.

• Who were the best Twins prospects of the 2000s and how did they turn out?

• Growing up my friends and I probably watched/rented "Kids" a dozen times, so 18 years after the controversial movie was made it's fascinating and also sad to read about the actors' lives.

• Speaking of movies I loved as a kid, "Hoop Dreams" co-star William Gates' son is going to play Division I college basketball.

• On a related note, I was talking with people on Twitter about my favorite movies and came up with this preliminary list:

1. "Seven"
2. "The Godfather"
3. "No Country For Old Men"
4. "Pulp Fiction"
5. "Boogie Nights"
6. "Blue Valentine"
7. "The Shawshank Redemption"
8. "Memento"
9. "Dog Day Afternoon"
10. "Hoop Dreams"

I'm probably forgetting one or two because I didn't put a whole lot of thought into the initial list, but I might spend a little more time on it and come up with a top 50. Also, looking at those 10 movies apparently I only like comedy on television.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we got kicked off the radio.

• If you like "Between Two Ferns" with Zach Galifianakis you'll really like "Between Two Ferns" with Zach Galifianakis when his James Franco interview turns into a Lonely Island video:

"Of all the art projects that you've done, what has made people roll their eyes the hardest?"

• In addition to being a former Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com, Elisha Cuthbert is a world-class eye-roller at hockey games.

• I'm one of those Blackberry-using weirdos, but this may finally convince me to get an iPhone.

• Setting aside the fact that he didn't actually tag the runner, this is a pretty amazing play by a 6-foot-5 catcher.

• As someone who recently lost 150 pounds strictly through diet/exercise and is now struggling to keep the weight off I'm fascinated by Chris Christie opting for surgery. I don't blame him, since I considered doing the same at times when obesity felt impossible to conquer, but the relapse rate for surgery is frighteningly high and trying to keep the surgery secret suggests he's not thrilled with what the choice says about him. Beating obesity sadly isn't as simple as losing weight.

• How did nachos and cheese become a ballpark staple?

• Wearing glasses is increasingly popular among people who don't actually need glasses, but as someone who's been wearing them since ninth grade I nodded along to almost every item here.

• Did you know that Twins Daily blogger Parker Hageman was in "Tiger Beat" magazine?

• During my weekly appearance on KFAN with Paul Allen we discussed the Twins, but also the etiquette of following and unfollowing people on Twitter. And also how my mom is stalking him.

• As far as Ron Gardenhire quotes go, I think I like "we're heroes on the internet" even more than "fire it through the internet." Also, he's officially too self-aware now. Not as much fun.

• I'll watch any video in which comedians make jokes while drinking too much, especially if they star Kyle Kinane:

"Just a case of the spits."

• Todd Barry's podcast is only three episodes old, but it's already become one of my favorites. Good, laid-back conversations with funny, interesting people who aren't regulars in the comedy podcasting world. This week's chat with Julieanne Smolinski was particularly enjoyable.

• "Community" fans should definitely check out "WTF" with Marc Maron this week, because he talked to Gillian Jacobs one day and Alison Brie a couple days later. They were both great.

• If you've never listened to "Comedy Bang Bang" before this week's fourth-anniversary episode is a perfect representation of the show.

• Netflix documentary recommendation: "The Restauranteur" about businessman and restaurant mogul Danny Meyer, featuring "Top Chef" judge Tom Colicchio with hair.

• "Parks and Recreation" creator Michael Schur, who's also known as Ken Tremendous from his "Fire Joe Morgan" blogging days, has created a new FOX show co-starring Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com candidate Chelsea Peretti and the always great Andre Braugher.

• Oh, and NBC renewed "Parks and Recreation" for another season.

• My favorite cheesy reality show, "Bar Rescue" on Spike, is back for another 20 episodes.

• "The Sportive" was good this week because Holly Manthei was such a great guest that she carried everyone else.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Jay R. Ferguson shirtless"
- "I love Bob Einstein"
- "Scott Diamond Jew"
- "Casey Fien Jewish"
- "Ryan Doumit Jewish"
- "Jon Taffer hair transplants"
- "Where is Drew Butera playing baseball?"
- "Where can I find naked picture of Scott Conant?"
- "Matt Capps dating"
- "Matt Harvey's sister"
- "Mae Whitman monologues"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Still Not a Player" by Big Punisher:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Curt's Salsa, a locally owned salsa company that believes in fresh ingredients and rooting for the little guy. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

• One of my favorite reality television shows, "Bar Rescue" on Spike, is back for another season and the episodes are available for free online. I'm joining forces with fellow Jon Taffer devotees Parker Hageman and Dana Wessel in an effort to get the show to do an episode in Minnesota. So far this is the extent of our campaign, so obviously we're open to ideas. Let's make it happen.

• If this ever happens to me at a bar I'm going on a rampage and hopefully we'll be recording the podcast at the time so everyone can hear me murdering people.

• Now that he's replaced Joe Christensen on the Twins beat Phil Miller launched his new blog on the Minneapolis Star Tribune's website.

• Mike Berardino, who was formerly a longtime South Florida Sun Sentinel columnist, has been hired by the St. Paul Pioneer Press as their new Twins beat reporter.

• Sometimes it's tough to tell the difference between spring training reports from beat writers and erotic fan fiction intros.

• If you've ever doubted the genius of Michael Schur/Ken Tremendous, he just cast the always amazing Andre Braugher and AG.com favorite Chelsea Peretti for his next FOX show.

• Francis J. Underwood, sabermetrician.

• In elementary school my class sold Kirby Puckett candy bars for some sort of fundraiser and my mom just bought a bunch of them from me and then let me eat them all, which explains a lot about my life and is also relevant to this shocking Deadspin investigation.

• I'll have more on this next week, but the Twins signed Rafael Perez to a minor-league deal.

• There is no age at which men are immune to the charms of Connie Britton. And if you're not going to read this whole thing then why even bother having the internet or a computer or eyes?

• Francisco Liriano broke his arm at home, but it wasn't from falling in the bathroom. No, it was actually even weirder than that.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode "horseplay" and "natural stank" were discussed at length while a woman named April occasionally chimed in.

• On a related note, I'll marry any woman who wears this on our first date.

• In his new book Mike Piazza talks about taking karate lessons to prepare for revenge against Roger Clemens. This is how I imagine those lessons:

Mediocre movie, but that scene gets me every time.

• This is crazy and all, but to lose "only" $13 million on $1 billion worth of bets isn't too bad.

• My blog-mate Craig Calcaterra explained what going to the doctor for an annual checkup has to do with sabermetrics.

• On a related note, here's an example of the type of fan mail we receive at HardballTalk.

• Nearly a decade after beginning her memorable two-year run as Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com Elisha Cuthbert is Maxim magazine's pick for "television's most beautiful woman."

• I'm proud to have convinced Scott Olstad to put together a collection of his 10 favorite Otis Redding cover songs for The Current's website.

• If you're interested in the history of great music and the impact of technology on art the Dave Grohl-directed documentary "Sound City" is a must-watch. Can't recommend it enough.

• "Searching for Sugar Man" is another documentary that's definitely worth watching. I won't give away much, but it's a fascinating story that got me thinking about how context is everything.

• Trevor Bauer is the next Shaquille O'Neal.

• By far the worst e-mail I've ever gotten.

• Alex Pappademas of Grantland went on tour with "Community" creator Dan Harmon and wrote an amazing article about it.

• I started watching ABC's cooking show "The Taste" because of Anthony Bourdain, but have kept watching it because of Nigella Lawson.

• Lenny Dykstra's son and Tony Soprano's daughter are having a baby.

• This week "Gleeman and The Geek" passed 500,000 total downloads, so thanks to everyone for listening and for spreading the word about the podcast.

• Giants teammates Tim Lincecum and Hunter Pence are the cutest:

I miss the long hair, though.

• Carl Pavano talked about rupturing his spleen while shoveling his driveway and it was gross and scary and crazy.

• "What is a badass?"

• Hard to believe, but unless he's a liar this guy turned 52 years old this week.

• The good news is that I bought a red hat, changed my name to Max, and moved to New York.

• Rays reliever Joel Peralta suffered a sandwich-related injury.

• Bloggers seem contractually obligated to hate "Girls" and Lena Dunham, but I watched the first five episodes of Season 2 in one sitting this week and still liked it. I'm constantly confused by who the internet decides to collectively hate or love, but she seems pretty great to me.

• I already liked Nuggets forward Kenneth Faried a lot, but now he's one of my favorite athletes.

• David Brauer's return to college hilariously involves having to take freshman comp.

• Sh*tty "New Yorker" Cartoon Captions.

• If you saw Mavis Staples on the Grammys, please note that Bob Dylan wanted to marry her.

• My childhood, represented by 29 pictures from one evening that I remember watching.

• Jon Marthaler, Brandon Broxey, Clarence Swamptown, and Randall's Stu have started a new podcast about Minnesota sports called "The Sportive" that everyone should check out.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Chinese food weight gain 2012"
- "Aaron Gleeman fat"
- "Chelsea Peretti naked"
- "Tosoni toes"
- "Todd Glass baseball"
- "Nineties sex symbols"
- "Zoe Barnes wardrobe"
- "Zoe Barnes hair part"
- "Sid Hartman girlfriends"
- "Ricky Rubio's neck tattoo"

• Finally, in honor of Valentine's Day this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Wicked Games" by The Weeknd:

• Headline of the week/weak: "Two drivers arrested for drunken driving in same car."

• Considering everyone involved, this has to be the best-looking fight of all time.

• Elisha Cuthbert heard the Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com title might be up for grabs again and wants to apply for a second term.

• If you liked last week's Link-O-Rama music video, "Nothin' But A G Thang," you'll love this oral history of "The Chronic" as the album nears its 20th anniversary.

• Kevin Pelton of Basketball Prospectus crunched the numbers from Jack Taylor's record-breaking 138-point game for Grinnell and the sabermetric-style analysis is fun.

• Hannibal Buress is at Acme Comedy Company in Minneapolis tonight and tomorrow night. I'll be there for the late show Saturday and if you like stand-up comedy you should go too.

• I'd make Guillermo a -340 favorite.

• If the Twins go looking for free agent pitching in the bargain bin, what will they find?

• This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode was recorded at my house while we were being filmed for a documentary and then afterward I forced John Bonnes to drink Scotch.

• LSU coach Les Miles had an amazing start to his postgame press conference after a comeback win against Mississippi:

There isn't an actor alive who can display that range of emotion in the span of two minutes.

• In case you thought you had a rough week, Robert Andino got traded by the Orioles to make room for Alexi Casilla.

• Just a really important conversation about an extremely serious topic between two adults.

• Two of the greats, Chelsea Peretti and Bill Burr, teamed up for what might be my favorite podcast episode of all time.

• Chris Brown of Grantland wrote a really interesting article about Chip Kelly's frantic offense, although naturally Oregon lost while scoring just 14 points Saturday.

• "Extreme Makeover: Bud Selig Edition" is a show I'd watch.

• Casey Affleck is directing a movie about Josh Hamilton.

• Whatever this is, I had the opposite.

• I've enjoyed listening to David Cone announce Yankees games on YES Network and the former Cy Young winner is very much into sabermetrics.

• I'd make a joke about the 25-year history of cellphones, but I still have a Blackberry.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com and two-time "Gleeman and The Geek" guest Lindsay Guentzel for her new gig with the Minnesota Swarm.

• Jimmy Kimmel's chat with Chris Hardwick on the "Nerdist" podcast was really enjoyable.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Rob Dibble ex-wife"
- "Phil Ivey fat?"
- "Happy Festivus certificate"
- "Will the Twins sign someone already?"
- "Pictures of Otis Redding's funeral"
- "How to include beer into weight loss"
- "Gundars Vetra photo"
- "Aubrey Plaza face shape"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is The Fugees covering "No Woman No Cry" by Bob Marley:

• I had a pretty good worlds colliding moment this week, as my Chelsea Peretti crush and my baseball writing job crossed paths. And her reaction was about right.

• Anthony Bourdain found out that Marlo Stanfield is still tracking Omar Little, and the whole thing should delight fellow "The Wire" fans.

• Just in case you forgot that Bill Murray is the best.

• MLB.com reporter Bill Ladson did the baseball equivalent of "Dewey Defeats Truman."

• Alex Rodriguez has the Twins to thank for his playoff reputation not being even worse.

• Jim Harbaugh shifted $75 million in bets by turning down a penalty last night.

• I'm not sure why, exactly, but John Bonnes thought it would be a good idea to record a video after we were done recording the latest "Gleeman and The Geek" episode. So here's me drinking beer and talking nonsense while he shines an incredibly bright light in my face in the middle of an otherwise dark bar:

Special guest appearance by our waitress! (And blame Bonnes for shooting in portrait view.)

• The above video was recorded Saturday night at The Lyndale Tap House, but afterward we felt further alcohol was needed and went to a new bar/restaurant called Nightingale that fellow Twins blogger Nick Nelson's brother and sister-in-law just opened last week. I recommend checking it out, because the place looks great, the employees and patrons were nice, and they have a good beer selection in addition to a big food menu.

• Thanks to everyone who submitted Twitter questions for my mailbag post earlier this week. I'll try to make it a semi-regular thing during the offseason.

• Within that mailbag post I recommended five podcasts, one of which was "Fan Graphs Audio" with Carson Cistulli and Dayn Perry. Their chat this week was a a fine representation of the show's overall brilliance.

• Like I've always said, working out is for chumps.

• Ozzie Smith, who earned $32 million during his 19-year career, is selling all his stuff.

• Nobody puts Jeff Kent in a corner.

• Former Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com Elisha Cuthbert makes a pretty good Annie Hall.

• I'd order less Chinese takeout if dining in restaurants mirrored this story more often.

• I'm pretty sure this is what people from other countries imagine goes on in America always.

• My mixed feelings about Germans in general contributed to my enjoyment of this video:

I have no idea what he was saying, but the way he said it made everything much funnier.

• Good, because I really didn't want to think of Dane Cook as a co-worker.

• I've avoided anything even remotely related to politics for a decade here, but my "Friday Night Lights" fandom is too strong to ignore this story.

• Good to see that Zach Lowe didn't miss a beat moving from SI.com to Grantland. If you like basketball and smart analysis, he's a must-read.

• Whoever cast Alison Brie and Lizzy Caplan as sisters is a genius.

• Not surprisingly the smart folks at Baseball America are on Team Trout.

• This is an example of why almost all of my ESPN-watching involves live sporting events.

• Some more recommendations from my ongoing Netflix instant binge: "Klown," "A Matter of Taste: Serving Up Paul Liebrandt," "Indie Game: The Movie," "Backstage," "Jim Norton: Please Be Offended," "Bill Burr: You People Are All The Same."

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "I've had nine beers and I'm 150 pounds"
- "Joe Mande and Glen Rice"
- "Does Shana Hiatt have a baby?"
- "How many carbs in hunan chicken?"
- "Chris Ison Pulitzer"
- "Ashley Greene baseball"
- "How fat is Chuck Knoblauch?"
- "Delmon Young doppelganger"
- "Rachel Bilson favorite baseball team"
- "Jacqueline Bisset salaries"
- "Finding Minnesota pornographers"
- "Notes to put on a nerd's back"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is Brandi Carlile doing a live version of "That Wasn't Me" for 89.3 The Current:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Audible, which is offering a free audiobook download for AG.com readers and "Gleeman and The Geek" listeners at AudiblePodcast.com/Gleeman.

• Kevin Goldstein left Baseball Prospectus to become the Astros' pro scouting coordinator, which is all kinds of great even if it means he'll no longer be a power tweeter.

• For anyone curious, my blog-mate Craig Calcaterra described the inner workings of Hardball Talk and how our virtual office operates.

• It took nearly six years, but it's good to see that Elisha Cuthbert has finally gotten over being stripped of her Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com title in late 2006.

• Ozzie Guillen returned to Twitter after saying "Twitter is stupid" and "everybody following me can [expletive] his pants" when he angrily quit in May. That's easily one of my favorite quotes ever and in thinking it over I'm not even certain which "expletive" he used.

• Apparently the Red Sox are counting on Bill James to help turn things around.

• Good times on KFAN with Paul Allen yesterday morning, as we talked Twins, football, dating, Stephen Strasburg, Bobby Valentine, and other random stuff. Click here to listen.

• As someone who deals with anxiety and various other weirdness, Grantland's documentary about Royce White gave me a totally different view of his personality and issues:

I'm now officially a Royce White fan.

• Sarah Hyland seems nice.

• Artie Lange, Dave Attell, Amy Schumer, and Jim Norton are coming together to Mystic Lake in November, which is basically a must-attend for any stand-up comedy fans.

• Shane Spencer is still taking advantage of that big September for the Yankees in 1998.

• Sad news about one of the original baseball bloggers. We lost a good one.

• I saw Lawless and it was about as good as a Shia LaBeouf movie can possibly be, which is to say C-plus. Also, it turns out Tom Hardy's actual voice when he's doing an American accent sounds not totally unlike his Bain voice. Oh, and Jessica Chastain seems nice.

• I also saw the classic movie Bullitt and liked it a lot, but don't quite get the fuss about Steve McQueen. On the other hand, Jacqueline Bisset circa 1968 ain't no joke. Mercy.

• It remains to be seen if Tony Levine can coach, but his saxophone skills aren't in doubt:

I'll be rooting for my old JCC basketball referee in his first full season at the University of Houston.

• Speaking of St. Paul and members of the tribe, oh the stories I could tell regarding this bit of news from my days growing up in Highland Park.

• Nicole Richie's appearance on The Champs with Neal Brennan and Moshe Kasher totally changed my opinion of her and made me realize she's not just another Paris Hilton.

• Obviously this is what happens when I do live radio there twice in the same week.

• Netflix instant recommendation: I don't eat sushi or speak Japanese, but Jiro Dreams of Sushi was a very compelling documentary about work ethic, greatness, and routine.

• For some reason this makes me sadder than most divorces.

• On a related note, I love Parks and Recreation blooper reels even more than the actual show:

As usual Chris Pratt steals every scene even when he's screwing everything up.

• Speaking of which, if this kid isn't funny then genetics are useless.

• I ate at the original, downtown location during the SABR convention this summer and liked it a lot, so I'm glad to hear Ike's Food & Cocktails is opening a second place near me.

• After five months on the radio Gleeman and The Geek returned to its podcast-only roots, which meant no more commercial breaks and way more beer. And also Jacqueline Bisset.

• Back by popular demand, this week's most amusing, weird, and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Delmon Young fat"
- "Jon Taffer salary"
- "Terry Francona new girlfriend"
- "Aaron Gleeman elliptical"
- "Why isn't Michael Cuddyer playing?"
- "Joe Frazier sings to Robin Quivers"
- "Low angle shot Kim Kardashian"
- "Anthony Slama stuff"
- "How old is Roy Smalley?"
- "How does Fat-O-Meter work?"

• Finally, in honor of his daughter changing my perception of her through the magic of podcasting this week's AG.com-approved music video is "All Night Long" by Lionel Richie: