December 31, 2015

Power Rankings: Top 30 Twin Cities Tweeters Of 2015

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Two years ago, in a half-joking response to City Pages publishing a "Top Twin Cities Twitterers" article, I came up with my own rankings. Despite stirring up incredible controversy and ruining many friendships I did it again last year. And now "third annual" makes it sounds like an actual thing, so here we are. Below you'll find my updated rankings for 2015 in which I continue to say "Tweeters" instead of "Twitterers." To anyone not on the list, you were No. 31 and just missed.

(Note: @BJFait was ruled ineligible for this list by virtue of her eyes being too pretty and her hair smelling too good, but following her on Twitter is one of the best decisions I've ever made.)

Neuman Twitter1. @RandBallsStu (Steve Neuman)

The Sportive co-host. Twinkie Town blogger. Good date for Jason Isbell shows. Tried to burn my house down with a Heggies pizza. Unparalleled commitment to bits.

Berry Twitter2. @_omgigi_ (Gigi Berry)

On loan to Georgia temporarily. Baesgiving hostess. Beard whisperer. Knows every local team's win total based on Papa John's discounts. Elite-level emojis and rants.

Wessel Twitter3. @DanaWessel (Dana Wessel)

GO-96.3 morning show co-host. Responsible for nearly every Donkey Kong high score in Minnesota. Has given me multiple pictures of himself as presents.

Petersen Twitter4. @JimPeteHoops (Jim Petersen)

Wolves television analyst. Lynx assistant coach. Brilliantly mixes old-school scouting and new-school stats. Responds to tweets mid-broadcast. Was nice to my mom once.

Krawczynski Twitter5. @APkrawczynski (Jon Krawczynski)

Minnesota's best all-around sportswriter. Smart, funny, plugged-in, even-handed, open-minded, and interacts with readers in a meaningful way. Underrated as hell.

Swamptown Twitter6. @CSwamptown (Clarence Swamptown)

The Sportive co-host. Spectacular forearms. Hates everything and everyone except Kelly Clarkson and Teddy Bridgewater. Straddles the line between insane and genius.

Floyd Twitter7. @mfloyd21 (Melissa Floyd)

World's nicest mean person or meanest nice person. Angelina Jolie of Mom Twitter. Known to make it rain with oatmeal packets. Emett and Olive wrangler. Fixit master.

Floyd Twitter8. @floyding (Zach Floyd)

Last year's No. 1. Hasn't slipped, but his wife threatened me with bodily harm over a repeat because his head got too big. Brad Pitt of Dad Twitter. Shadow recruit.

Hageman Twitter9. @ParkerHageman (Parker Hageman)

My favorite Twins writer when not busy fathering children. Constantly building dreams together and standing strong forever. No Juice co-host. GIF machine.

Manthei Twitter10. @HollyManthei (Holly Manthei)

Notre Dame and World Cup soccer legend. Surly beer hype woman. Hug distributor. Once brought a sleeping bag to a party at my house. Chilaquiles photographer.

Zanatta Twitter11. @Mike_Zanatta (Mike Zanatta)

Minnesota's most underrated tweeter. No one offers a superior combination of sports snark, pop culture humor, and glorious hair. Looks like Ginsberg, tweets like Draper.

Nora Purmort Twitter12. @noraborealis (Nora Purmort)

Still Kickin with incredible strength, grace, and humor in the face of personal tragedy. Mom to the world's cutest toddler. Writer of a new memoir you should pre-order.

Robson Twitter13. @brittrobson (Britt Robson)

Minnesota's best basketball writer. Timberwolves historian. Right about most things and more willing than most to admit when he's wrong. Great accent.

Rand Twitter14. @RandBall (Michael Rand)

Star Tribune digital sports editor, blogger, and silliness ringleader. I've met most of my friends in his backyard. Never played the game. New hair style is out of control.

Niver Twitter15. @tniver (Tim Niver)

St. Paul restaurant mogul. Twitter host with the most. Owner of Strip Club, Saint Dinette, and soon Mucci's. Thrives in the murky waters of late-night Twitter.

Ampersandria Twitter16. @ampersandria (Ampersandria Cochran)

Impossibly quirky and likable. Modern-day Jackie Kennedy, but with more Cheeto dust.

Lambert Twitter17. @MeatSauce1 (Paul Lambert)

KFAN morning show co-host. Never not trolling. Andy Kaufman/Yoenis Cespedes combo.

Brown Twitter18. @ItsTheBrandi (Brandi Brown)

Stand-up comedian. Coder. Tracker of people discovering the origin of Flo Rida's name.

Halter Twitter19. @mspbjHalter (Nick Halter)

Minneapolis/St.Paul Business Journal reporter covering the sports and restaurant beats.

Shortal Twitter20. @janashortal (Jana Shortal)

KARE-11 reporter. Once defeated me in a "crush contest." Justin Bieber stole her look.

Albus Twitter21. @jalbus (Jason Albus)

Photographer to the Twitter stars. Melissa Floyd wrangler. Lived up to the hype.

Jones Twitter22. @bianca101 (Bianca Jones)

Powerful name, huge smile, tiny human. Constantly amazed at things I've never done.

Brauer Twitter23. @dbrauer (David Brauer)

Minnesota's top caller of media-related bullshit. My go-to sounding board for grievances.

Guentzel Twitter24. @LindsayGuentzel (Lindsay Guentzel)

WCCO radio. One of only five humans my cat isn't afraid of. Cheats at staring contests.

Rupar Twitter25. @atrupar (Aaron Rupar)

Ex-journalist now in politics. Drummer. Fellow cat guy/beardo/Timberwolves masochist.

Welle Twitter26. @LizWelle (Liz Welle)

Paul Allen's favorite tweeter. Wore a beard of coffee grounds to be Drake for Halloween.

Matteson Twitter27. @solace (Kyle Matteson)

Just ceased being a frog. Lives, breathes music. Has an answer to almost any question.

White Twitter28. @amanduhwhite (Amanda White)

Real life is her live album. Twitter is her studio album. Randall Cobb fan club president.

Hummel Twitter29. @TweetsByCollin (Collin Hummel)

Way too good-looking to be this weird and into cats, but Twitter is (mostly) better for it.

Bonnes Twitter30. @TwinsGeek (John Bonnes)

Has wasted more than 500 hours of my life recording our arguments about the Twins.

If you read this whole thing and still won't follow @AaronGleeman on Twitter you're a monster.

December 13, 2013


• I'm co-hosting an event during TwinsFest next month with John Bonnes, Parker Hageman, Nick Nelson, Seth Stohs, and the whole Twins Daily crew. Saturday night, January 25, we'll be getting together for beer and baseball at Mason's Restaurant downtown, which is one block from Target Field where TwinsFest is taking place this year for the first time. We're calling it "Winter Meltdown" and we'll be joined by special guests, including Twins president Dave St. Peter.

winter meltdown logo

Space is limited and we expect the event to sell out, so reserve your spot as soon as possible.

UPDATE: Wow. We sold out all 125 tickets to the event in three hours this morning.

Jason Kubel is coming back to the Twins.

• We live in a world where the best-looking baseball manager is a Jew who went to Dartmouth.

• On a related note, Ron Gardenhire took the news of his 28th-place handsomeness finish well.

• Being chosen for the Best of Minneapolis Beards is arguably the greatest honor of my life, even if I had to guilt world-renowned beard curator Megan Weisenberger into including me.

• On a related note, Robinson Cano broke up with the Yankees and the very first thing he did was grow a beard.

Scott Boras threw some shade at Jay Z and even dragged Rihanna into it.

Geoff Baker of the Seattle Times wrote an absolutely fascinating investigative piece shining a light on the Mariners' dysfunctional front office, with tons of damning quotes.

• I've never been prouder of something in my entire life. Journalism school was worth the money.

Ben Revere was the cutest kid of all time.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode our waitress says she loves me and I waste no time reciprocating, showing once and for all that I have zero commitment issues. We also talked about lots of baseball stuff, if you're into that for some weird reason.

• "Gleeman and The Geek" is available on Stitcher now, giving you another way to consume us.

Amy Poehler is the best, so I really liked Alex Scordelis' feature (and accompanying photo shoot) on her in Paper magazine. My favorite part:

Poehler laughs loudly at the thought of her tipsy Bostonian parents celebrating a Red Sox win. I ask if she thinks she's a generous laugher. "I don't break in scenes, but I do laugh too much," she says. "I was just directing Broad City, and the sound guy asked me, 'Can you laugh less during the takes?' And I was like, 'I can't promise you anything.' I like to laugh a lot. I have a crazy maniacal laugh that I try to maintain through diet and exercise."

And thankfully, the internet being the internet, there's a video compilation of Poehler's laugh:

For me, that's second only to the sound of rain falling in terms of soothing noises.

• NL MVP Andrew McCutchen proposed to his girlfriend on "Ellen."

• Sad news about snuggle-for-pay not making it in Wisconsin, because I was looking into buying a franchise in Minnesota. And it seems like my favorite baseball player of all time would have been interested in opening a Chicago-area franchise.

• OK, who wants to get me this for Christmas?

Ann Friedman of Esquire wrote an interesting article about how men and women view dating someone taller or shorter than them and why everyone should be more open-minded.

• There was a discussion on Twitter about the blogs people had as teenagers and eventually quit, which I didn't realize was an option. It got me digging through my archives and I stumbled across this post from March of 2003--when I was a 20-year-old college student--and it's amazing how little has changed since then.

"Why I'll Never Ask A Guy Out" by Malina Bickford made me sad, because think of how many potential love connections never happen due to men being clueless. We need help sometimes.

• 18.6 million people watched "The Sound Of Music Live" on NBC, including one man with Pizza Luce and a crappy attitude.

• One of the original baseball bloggers, Jon Weisman of Dodger Thoughts, has a new job working for the Dodgers.

The latest from my future wife.

Ron Coomer is leaving FOX Sports North and K-TWIN to be the Cubs' new radio analyst.

• You know you've established a reputation when six different people send the same link.

• I enjoyed Chelsea Fagan's list of "24 rules for being a gentleman in 2014" even though No. 2 basically ruled me out and I failed about 10 of them.

• My crush on Lizzy Caplan knows no bounds:

She's such a f-ing delight.

• We're recording a new "Gleeman and The Geek" episode Saturday afternoon at HammerHeart Brewing Company in Lino Lakes. We'll get started around 2:00 p.m. and much more importantly we'll be done podcasting and ready to have some beers around 3:30 p.m. Come hang out.

• I've never been to see "Wits" at the Fitzgerald Theater before, but their Valentine's Day show guests are basically hand-picked for me: Marc Maron, Jason Isbell, and Amanda Shires.

• Speaking of which: Step 1 to becoming a guest?

• I'm using this as my excuse for everything now.

• In preparation for this week's chosen song, here's a complete list of things Tom Waits misses about the woman in "Hold On":

- Charcoal eyes
- Monroe hips
- Hair like wind
- Crooked little heart
- Broken-China voice

I've been on a real Waits kick lately, which believe it or not means I've been in a good mood.

• favorite and Twitter must-follow Alison Agosti has a new gig writing for "Late Night With Seth Meyers."

• I really enjoyed "Drinking Buddies" starring Olivia Wilde, Anna Kendrick, Jake Johnson, and Ron Livingston. B-plus movie with A-plus work from Wilde in the role of Holly Manthei.

• Nothing to do with anything, but I randomly think of this scene every few months.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Jon Taffer hair transplant"
- "Twins baseball rumors"
- "Husband got fat and lazy drinking beer"
- "Did Meatsauce Paul Lambert go to college?"
- "Marney Gellner favorite country songs"
- "Ron Coomer net worth"
- "Tevin Campbell big boner"
- "Tom Colicchio wearing glasses"

• Finally, this week's music video is the aforementioned "Hold On" by Waits:

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May 10, 2013


• I'd say Otis Nixon's mugshot is a pretty compelling argument against using crack cocaine, but even in his baseball-playing prime he always looked 60 years old.

Glen Perkins' sabermetric legend continues to grow. Not only did he go through his advanced stats one-by-one and explain them all, he's trying to convert other Twins pitchers into stat-heads.

• Like that old saying goes, be careful whose urine you borrow.

• See, now this is why I'm scared to sign up for J-Date.

Science is cool and all, but I've got about 15 years of personal evidence to the contrary.

• Who were the best Twins prospects of the 2000s and how did they turn out?

• Growing up my friends and I probably watched/rented "Kids" a dozen times, so 18 years after the controversial movie was made it's fascinating and also sad to read about the actors' lives.

• Speaking of movies I loved as a kid, "Hoop Dreams" co-star William Gates' son is going to play Division I college basketball.

• On a related note, I was talking with people on Twitter about my favorite movies and came up with this preliminary list:

1. "Seven"
2. "The Godfather"
3. "No Country For Old Men"
4. "Pulp Fiction"
5. "Boogie Nights"
6. "Blue Valentine"
7. "The Shawshank Redemption"
8. "Memento"
9. "Dog Day Afternoon"
10. "Hoop Dreams"

I'm probably forgetting one or two because I didn't put a whole lot of thought into the initial list, but I might spend a little more time on it and come up with a top 50. Also, looking at those 10 movies apparently I only like comedy on television.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we got kicked off the radio.

• If you like "Between Two Ferns" with Zach Galifianakis you'll really like "Between Two Ferns" with Zach Galifianakis when his James Franco interview turns into a Lonely Island video:

"Of all the art projects that you've done, what has made people roll their eyes the hardest?"

• In addition to being a former Official Fantasy Girl of, Elisha Cuthbert is a world-class eye-roller at hockey games.

• I'm one of those Blackberry-using weirdos, but this may finally convince me to get an iPhone.

• Setting aside the fact that he didn't actually tag the runner, this is a pretty amazing play by a 6-foot-5 catcher.

• As someone who recently lost 150 pounds strictly through diet/exercise and is now struggling to keep the weight off I'm fascinated by Chris Christie opting for surgery. I don't blame him, since I considered doing the same at times when obesity felt impossible to conquer, but the relapse rate for surgery is frighteningly high and trying to keep the surgery secret suggests he's not thrilled with what the choice says about him. Beating obesity sadly isn't as simple as losing weight.

• How did nachos and cheese become a ballpark staple?

• Wearing glasses is increasingly popular among people who don't actually need glasses, but as someone who's been wearing them since ninth grade I nodded along to almost every item here.

• Did you know that Twins Daily blogger Parker Hageman was in "Tiger Beat" magazine?

• During my weekly appearance on KFAN with Paul Allen we discussed the Twins, but also the etiquette of following and unfollowing people on Twitter. And also how my mom is stalking him.

• As far as Ron Gardenhire quotes go, I think I like "we're heroes on the internet" even more than "fire it through the internet." Also, he's officially too self-aware now. Not as much fun.

• I'll watch any video in which comedians make jokes while drinking too much, especially if they star Kyle Kinane:

"Just a case of the spits."

Todd Barry's podcast is only three episodes old, but it's already become one of my favorites. Good, laid-back conversations with funny, interesting people who aren't regulars in the comedy podcasting world. This week's chat with Julieanne Smolinski was particularly enjoyable.

• "Community" fans should definitely check out "WTF" with Marc Maron this week, because he talked to Gillian Jacobs one day and Alison Brie a couple days later. They were both great.

• If you've never listened to "Comedy Bang Bang" before this week's fourth-anniversary episode is a perfect representation of the show.

• Netflix documentary recommendation: "The Restauranteur" about businessman and restaurant mogul Danny Meyer, featuring "Top Chef" judge Tom Colicchio with hair.

• "Parks and Recreation" creator Michael Schur, who's also known as Ken Tremendous from his "Fire Joe Morgan" blogging days, has created a new FOX show co-starring Official Fantasy Girl of candidate Chelsea Peretti and the always great Andre Braugher.

• Oh, and NBC renewed "Parks and Recreation" for another season.

• My favorite cheesy reality show, "Bar Rescue" on Spike, is back for another 20 episodes.

• "The Sportive" was good this week because Holly Manthei was such a great guest that she carried everyone else.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Jay R. Ferguson shirtless"
- "I love Bob Einstein"
- "Scott Diamond Jew"
- "Casey Fien Jewish"
- "Ryan Doumit Jewish"
- "Jon Taffer hair transplants"
- "Where is Drew Butera playing baseball?"
- "Where can I find naked picture of Scott Conant?"
- "Matt Capps dating"
- "Matt Harvey's sister"
- "Mae Whitman monologues"

• Finally, this week's music video is "Still Not a Player" by Big Punisher:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Curt's Salsa, a locally owned salsa company that believes in fresh ingredients and rooting for the little guy. Please support them for supporting