October 17, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Approximately one million people sent me the New York Times' "brunch is for jerks" article, but here's the thing: Combining breakfast food and booze is undeniably great. End of story.

• UFC announcer Mike Goldberg did play-by-play for the Vikings-Lions game and it was a mess, with botched names and confused calls throughout. Afterward he cursed out people on Twitter who were criticizing his performance, at which point FOX removed him from their NFL schedule.

• If this is true about Kate Mara ... well, then I quit.

• How much payroll space do the Twins have and, more importantly, will they actually spend it?

Martha Stewart vs. Gwyneth Paltrow is this generation's Notorious B.I.G. vs. Tupac.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com Dana Wessel for winning "Mrs. Arkansas International, 2014."

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we drank beer at 612 Brew and revisited our preseason predictions to see just how terrible they were.

• We also had Twins beat reporter Mike Berardino of the St. Paul Pioneer Press as our guest on "Gleeman and The Geek" two episodes ago and lots of listeners enjoyed it more than usual.

• Imagine if someone from England looked just like Aaron Rodgers and hung around Green Bay:

Tom Wrigglesworth is a quality name, too.

• I "took issue" with something a local newspaper columnist wrote about Joe Mauer and brain injuries, leading to City Pages' amusing recap and this brilliant "Douse Mauer in Gasoline and Chase Him with Matches" parody by Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman.

• Speaking of which, one year ago Neuman wrote my favorite parody ever, including this opening line: "As night-life emissaries go, one could do better than Aaron Gleeman."

Maggie "Boss Lady Yung Mags" LaMaack is one of the most underrated writers in Minnesota, this time on the subject of using Tinder to date.

• The local chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America gave Ron Gardenhire their "media good guy" award on his way out.

Andrew Friedman left the $50 million payrolls in Tampa Bay for the $250 million payrolls in Los Angeles and sent a goodbye letter to a Rays blog.

• I went to a high school journalism conference when the Final Four was here in 2001 and Bob Ryan's storytelling mesmerized me, so I enjoyed Grantland's profile of the Boston sportswriter.

• Believe it or not the Twins had many valuable players this season and I ranked them on my hypothetical team MVP ballot.

• Two all-time greats, Bill Murray and Howard Stern, had a nice long chat and it was very fun.

• You may not think so, but you'll definitely want to watch a little kid recreate Patrick Swayze's dance moves from the final scene of "Dirty Dancing":

I can do the same thing, except with Elaine Benes' dance moves in "Seinfeld."

Dax Shepard is one of the most underrated actors/funny people around and he was predictably funny/charming chatting with Marc Maron.

• I spent a week reading "Gone Girl" and wherever I put it down--on the bed, on the floor, on random places around the house--she immediately slept on it.

• On a related note, my power rankings of David Fincher movies:

1. "Seven"
2. "Fight Club"
3. "The Social Network"
4. "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button"
5. "The Game"
6. "Gone Girl"
7. "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"
8. "Panic Room"
9. "Zodiac"
10. "Alien 3"

I apologize in advance for not liking "Zodiac" more. I realize that will bother many people.

J.J. Hardy, whom the Twins basically gave away to the Orioles in 2011, signed a three-year, $40 million contract extension to remain in Baltimore.

• Thrilled that Tom Scharpling is bringing back "The Best Show" after reconsidering retirement.

• I agree with Rick Nelson's review in the Minneapolis Star Tribune: Libertine has quickly become one of my favorite restaurants for dinner and brunch.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Man who couldn't stop laughing at his own twin"
- "Sweet Martha's Cookies revenue"
- "Sylvester Stallone young beard"
- "What will happen to Rick Anderson?"
- "Jerome Felton's girlfriend"
- "What was Aaron Burr's sidekick's name?"
- "Jon Taffer pumpkin carving stencil"
- "Naked twins"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Take Me To Church" by Hozier:

September 26, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Yankees announcer Michael Kay gave me a little shoutout on YES Network during Derek Jeter's final home game Thursday night:

And during the same game, on the Orioles' broadcast, they quoted me about J.J. Hardy's value.

• In terms of trolling for truth, "Jay Z was better than Beyonce is" might be even more effective than Keith Olbermann's anti-Jeter tirade.

• Wednesday's rain delay meant Phil Hughes finished one out short of reaching 210 innings for the season to receive a $500,000 bonus. After initially saying they wouldn't the Twins later offered him a chance to pitch in relief during Sunday's season finale ... and Hughes turned it down. Still, considering he set the all-time strikeout-to-walk ratio record in a season worth several times his salary and the rain delay is the only reason he didn't reach the bonus perhaps the Twins should donate the money to charity in his name or something?

Darko Milicic is done with playing basketball and is now a kickboxer. Seriously.

• For combining simplicity and effectiveness you're not going to find a better opening sentence: "Dale Decker is a man who says he orgasms in his pants over 100 times per day."

• Legalizing marijuana in Minnesota could raise enough revenue in one year to pay off Ricky Nolasco's entire contract. And everyone would be less stressed out watching his starts, too.

Lauryn Hill at her peak was an inner-circle Hall of Fame talent, but this is why I couldn't talk myself into paying $65 per ticket to see her at First Avenue earlier this year.

• I tore my ACL walking from CC Club to VFW two minutes after turning down a ride and one minute after mocking someone for slipping on ice, but this is arguably an even dumber way.

• Oh god. Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal has an article about John Bonnes and he looks all annoyingly super happy in the photo.

• Friends of AG.com and "No Juice Podcast" co-hosts Dan Anderson and Parker Hageman tried to show what it's like to pitch-frame a 100-mph fastball. It did not go well:

"You're gonna be on the whacking DL for a while" is a great line. (Also: They couldn't hit it either.)

• Read this Ben Lindbergh article about the Pirates' extensive use of sabermetrics and tell me the Twins aren't at a basic, fundamental disadvantage.

• Who will the Twins purge from the 40-man roster? Almost half of the players are droppable.

• My big takeaway from Mitch Williams' lawsuit is that MLB Network was paying him $2 million.

Benjy Bronk from Howard Stern's show is the guy who got tossed from Roger Goodell's press conference, which should not surprise any longtime Stern fans.

• My blog-mate Craig Calcaterra is one of 24 writers selected for Amtrak's residency program.

Andrew Baggarly is one of the best, most experienced baseball reporters around, but the San Francisco Giants are boycotting him for reporting something no one seems to deny happened.

• In addition to being dashingly handsome to the point of intimidation, Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman tells a really good story.

• It turns out the new iPhones could be big news for schlubby guys.

• Chicago deep-dish pizza chain restaurant Giordano's is coming to Uptown, just a few doors down from Green Mill.

• Restaurant recommendation: The Bad Waitress has become one of my go-to spots. It's great for my fellow breakfast-for-dinner lovers and it's on Bite Squad.

• I still need two more owners for my "Hardball Dynasty" league on WhatIfSports. Details here.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Happy dirty thirty"
- "Ron Gardenhire contract"
- "How much does Joe Nathan make per game?"
- "Who did the Nationals trade for Wilson Ramos?"
- "Marney Gellner rain delay dance"
- "Bill Smith on Seinfeld"
- "Is Justin Morneau French?"

• Finally, in honor of Jeter's retirement this week's AG.com-approved music video is "The Captain" by Kasey Chambers:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

September 5, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• As part of a "brand survey" sent out by the Twins' marketing department fans were asked the following question via e-mail:

Twins survey

Those options are wildly optimistic for a team headed for a fourth consecutive 90-loss season and to ask fans if their brand is more "quality and luxury" or "efficient and forward-thinking" struck me as silly and tone deaf. I tweeted about the survey a few times and then wrote a brief post about it on HardballTalk. And then Keith Olbermann picked up the story for his ESPN show, giving the Twins' marketing department an award and giving me a shoutout:

In the wake of the Olbermann attention and criticism Twins president Dave St. Peter responded to the situation by saying, among other things: "We're not tone deaf. We get it."

(I was previously mentioned on Olbermann's show in May regarding MLB shutting down "Gleeman and The Geek" and other baseball podcasts.)

• My first question after reading this story: How did his owners not miss 43.5 socks?

Joan Rivers died at age 81. She was a powerhouse and a pioneer who had an amazing career with a huge influence on multiple generations of comedians. Watch her documentary "A Piece Of Work" on Netflix.

• This is why I've never worked in an office or had a sip of coffee in my life.

• Two years ago a minor leaguer anonymously called Chelsea Peretti's podcast and told his sad story of being a bust and blowing through his signing bonus. Tuesday he pitched in the majors.

Switched at birth: Ricky Rubio and Ringo Starr.

• Wanna join my "Hardball Dynasty" league? New season is starting and we need a few owners.

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode was recorded live in front of an audience at the State Fair. It was also our final KFAN/radio show of the season, so starting next week we'll be back to podcast-only episodes recorded at bars and restaurants around the Twin Cities.

• What happens when you give a little baby with hearing problems his first hearing aid?

What a smile.

• September roster expansion means a bunch of Twins call-ups and I profiled all of them.

• Mariners minor leaguer Jesus Montero took a bat into the stands after a Mariners scout heckled him with an ice cream sandwich.

• I'm feeling much less embarrassed about recently warming up to cats now that I know Howard Stern is in the same boat.

• The best baseball player of all time joined Twitter this week and his first non-introductory tweet gave condolences over Joan Rivers' death.

Mike Trout and Clayton Kershaw got me thinking about the best MVP "pairings" of all time, so I tried to answer that question.

• Bar Abilene in Uptown closed. It had $5 bottomless mimosas and was feet from my front door, but I actively avoided going there.

• It sounds like Uptown is getting an upscale hotel soon, possibly right next to Calhoun Square.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "How to lose 100 pounds when you are lazy"
- "Nick Punto mom"
- "Alone at the bar"
- "Chris Pratt pitches baseball"
- "Waitress jokes"
- "Analysis of Minnesota Twins baseball team"
- "Had Joe Mauer ever met Kirby Puckett?"
- "Where is the best macaroni and cheese?"

• Finally, in honor of the Twins' brand survey this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

February 7, 2014

Link-O-Rama

Jerry Seinfeld and Howard Stern bickering like Jewish grandmothers is what my entire life has been building to until now.

• Pawn America is selling an unnamed person's 1987 World Series ring, which makes me sad.

• A lot of people say to me "I wish I could hear you on more podcasts talking about more bullshit topics while drinking more whiskey." Well, guess what people who don't actually exist? It's your lucky day! I was a guest on "The Sportive" podcast and it was a train wreck. (In a good way.)

• I really enjoyed and mostly agreed with Luke O'Neil's article about what choosing to favorite something on Twitter actually signifies.

Kara Nesvig of Vita.mn told the compelling, much-needed story of Minnesota's true heroes.

• Even after finding a new place to live I'm still addicted to looking at new apartment listings on Craigslist and some of them are absolutely amazing.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we debated Ricky Nolasco vs. Matt Garza, dreamed about Byron Buxton, and discussed swapping wives. It was a weird one.

• Years ago I was told that a decade-old video existed of Twins Daily blogger Parker Hageman appearing on a TLC reality show called "Second Chance." Ever since then I've been trying to talk him and various members of his family into posting that video online and now, just days before his wedding to the woman who appeared alongside him on the reality show, my prayers have finally been answered. Enjoy:

I kind of want to break the whole thing down frame-by-frame, like the Zapruder film.

Derek Jeter lives a rough life sometimes.

This news has me thinking about canceling my annual State Fair on-air radio date.

• Netflix has a new show coming out in which Coach Taylor and Lindsay Weir play brother and sister, so I'm basically a television producer now.

• I smiled a lot looking through the pictures from Howard Stern's birthday party.

Dana Wessel is apparently spreading the Heggies pizza gospel via the super-believable pen name "Ryan Burk" now.

• Fat quarterback Jared Lorenzen is now fatter and even more quarterbacky.

• "His submission was deemed 'weirder than balls' so they had Gleeman write it up instead. Here is the rejected preview."

• My HardballTalk blog-mate Matthew Pouliot did projections for all 30 starting rotations and ranks the Twins second-to-last despite all their offseason spending.

• Why am I moving? Another day, another police chase in my neck of the suburban woods.

• The Onion: "Report: Girlfriend's parents could hear everything."

• I want nothing more than to simply walk into this classroom and yell "Rihanna is better!" And then run, obviously.

• On the other hand, Possum Plows' latest video finally makes me appreciate what some of the Beyonce fuss is all about:

Related note: We may soon have a new "Gleeman and The Geek" theme song. Stay tuned.

• I screwed up and waited too long to buy Lake Street Dive tickets for The Cedar next month. Anyone have a hookup? I'd gladly pay full price for a pair of tickets.

Keith Law's "Top Chef" recaps were must-reads all season and his finale analysis was spot on.

• Me too, man. Me too. "Penguins are so fed up with the miserable winter weather they are being given antidepressants."

• Season 2 hasn't started yet, but Netflix already renewed "House Of Cards" for Season 3 and production begins soon.

John Mulaney explaining Jewish women always makes me laugh.

• "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Graham Clark and Dave Shumka is consistently my favorite podcast and Nicole Passmore was a particularly entertaining guest.

• "Broad City" is a great show that everyone should be watching.

• Brunch spot recommendation: Victor's 1959 Cafe, a tiny, quirky place with good Cuban food and interesting mimosas.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Woman ate 350 chicken wings"
- "Image of get-together"
- "Bobby Bland baseball"
- "What's wrong with my elliptical machine?"
- "Chads and Brads"
- "General Bill Smith"
- "Pizza Hut five-pound deal"
- "Aaron Gleeman moving"
- "Aaron Gleeman in Uptown"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is John Newman singing a live version of "Love Me Again":

December 6, 2013

Link-O-Rama

• I did some hardcore hate-reading of "The Rise and Fall of BlackBerry." My favorite part:

One thing we missed out on was that Justin Bieber wanted to rep BlackBerry. He said, "Give me $200,000 and 20 devices, and I'm your brand ambassador," basically. And we pitched that to marketing: Here's a Canadian kid, he grew up here, all the teeny-boppers will love that. They basically threw us out of the room. They said, "This kid is a fad. He's not going to last." I said at the meeting: "This kid might outlive RIM." Everyone laughed.

And now, just a few years later, some doofus blogger in Minnesota is the last BlackBerry user.

• Seriously, please just die already so I can get on Tinder.

Miley Cyrus never looked so good.

• Apparently they're just putting my dreams on video now, starting with Aubrey Plaza and Alia Shawkat sitting around smoking pot.

Irina Werning did an amazing job photographing adults re-enacting their childhood pictures. I can't wait to re-enact this photo some day soon, perhaps around bar close.

Kirk Goldsberry's in-depth article on Grantland about LeBron James' dominance combines statistical analysis, visual presentation, and original reporting as well as anything I've ever read.

• We recorded this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode over brunch and skipped the usual bullshit session to almost exclusively break down the Ricky Nolasco and Phil Hughes signings.

• If you prefer written analysis of the signings, read the Nolasco version and the Hughes version.

• As someone who loves Howard Stern and David Letterman their half-hour chat last week was basically perfect television:

They're definitely my favorite old married couple.

• No. 21 is legit, No. 6 and No. 8 are purely hypothetical, and No. 29 actually sounds good to me.

Seth Rogan's back hair is the new Kim Kardashian's ass.

• After seeing this I'm thinking about giving the whole Minnesota Daily thing one last try.

• "House of Cards" fans will love this. Also: Robin Wright is amazing at smoking a cigarette.

• I've been doing my own study on this same topic and have come to the same conclusion in the sense that hanging out drinking and talking and having fun stops me from eating.

• I'm printing this out and bringing copies on all future dates.

The Onion hits on something I've been constantly fighting for about 20 years.

Wonder Woman is Jewish. Mazel tov.

• Carson Cistulli's latest chat with Dayn Perry was spell-binding as always and 67 minutes in Perry randomly said: "I bet Aaron Gleeman has something similar to a document of sexy ladies."

Headline of the week/weak: "Male stripper arrested after fight in downtown St. Cloud."

• "Gleeman and The Geek" listeners will be relieved to know that we made our biggest fan happy.

• Few things are more amazing than a motivated pothead.

• In case you thought Nigella Lawson didn't already seem like enough fun.

• One of my most vivid childhood memories, 15 years later.

• So great: 17-year-old Notorious B.I.G. free-styling on a Brooklyn street corner in 1989.

Maria Bello is one of my favorite actresses and love is love, y'all.

• The latest song/video from my future wife Possum Plows is almost too much for me to handle:

On a related note, I'm taking this as a very strong sign that Ms. Plows is into me too. Gonna be a helluva meet-cute story some day.

Jared Leto ruined a perfect picture of perfect people.

• I've been staring at this page for the majority of the week.

• Honestly, how do we all feel about "Body Party" by Ciara sounding so much like "Are You That Somebody" by Aaliyah?

• After talking about her on Paul Allen's show Marney Gellner finally got to meet my mom.

• My "Gleeman and The Geek" co-host John Bonnes was a guest on "Talk To Contact" if you're curious what else is out there in the world of Twins podcasts.

• I recapped my bachelor party-going experience on last week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode, including the story of Bonnes throwing up in a cab, but there's photographic evidence too.

• I'm putting this in Link-O-Rama in part because it made me laugh and in part because it's the closest Dana Wessel can get to making it himself these days.

• JNCOs never went out of style.

• As documented on Twitter, not going to this Thursday night was a big mistake.

• Having been to Town Hall Tap approximately 1,000 times in the last month, I can vouch for this.

• Netflix recommendation: "Somm" is a documentary about people trying to become expert-level sommeliers and it's about a million times better than it sounds.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Dave Chappelle and Tall Paul"
- "Lady fat nod"
- "Eliza Coupe lookalike pornstar"
- "Reason for Scott Diamond's decline"
- "Aaron Gleeman girlfriend"
- "Joe Mauer girlfriend"
- "Twins my brain shut down"
- "How does a person become a blogger?"
- "Minnesota Twins blog sites"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Backseat Freestyle" by Kendrick Lamar:


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