April 11, 2014

Link-O-Rama

Delmon Young hitting a 50-hop ground ball past a diving Derek Jeter is what the 2014 baseball season is all about

Bartolo Colon jiggling his gut is my spirit animal.

• If you've ever wanted a customized nickname from Ron Gardenhire, this is your lucky day.

• Someone please hire Randball's Stu to write for a living. He suddenly needs a job and is Minnesota's funniest writer.

• The lesson here is to not trust anyone who doesn't like Kendrick Lamar.

• My analysis of the Twins trading for Eduardo Nunez was mostly underwhelming.

• I love how seriously Jay Boller took his analysis of the Twins' walk-up songs.

• Dang. The Ultimate Warrior died.

• I've been using Uber a lot lately and it's amazingly easy/pleasant compared to cabs. If you use this promo code you get $20 off a ride and I get $20 too, which allows me to drink Jack Daniels all across this great state of ours. Give it a shot. Why not?

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode kicked off our third season on KFAN, with a new producer and the usual live radio show plus podcast portion.

• I've been getting really into "Workaholics" lately and Waymond is my favorite character:

Great acting is all about subtle nuance.

• I'm planning to make this an ongoing project with expanded reviews, pictures, and lots of other stuff, so for now this is just a very preliminary version of my Uptown Bar Power Rankings.

• Speaking of which, I'm very sad to see Rye Deli suddenly close up shop. It was home to many of my mediocre first dates and even hosted "Gleeman and The Geek" on multiple occasions. RIP.

• We've talked about it so much that Parker Hageman of Twins Daily is now trying to convince me to buy this bar.

• On a related note, Hageman wrote an interesting article about Chris Colabello that's definitely worth checking out.

• Braves shortstop Andrelton Simmons is absolutely ridiculous.

• As a Jack Daniels devotee I enjoyed Kara Nesvig's tribute to whiskey-based romancing.

• This week I went to the Kmart on Lake Street for the first time and it was one of the saddest experiences of my entire life, so I'm not sure how I feel about this development.

Paul Goldschmidt owns Tim Lincecum.

• America's best, most important television couple.

• I'm pretty sick of Maggie LaMaack at this point, but she interviewed yet another tweeter I very much enjoy following in Talia Wischmann.

• Royals rookie Yordano Ventura threw a 103-mph pitch.

• If you're wondering whether Hank Aaron is the "True Home Run King" read this.

• Based on Molly Fitzpatrick's article about dating labels, I'd like to someday be known by: 1) "My plus-one." 2) "My arm candy." 3) "The Bae."

Taco Cat delivery service is the type of thing that makes me proud to have moved to Uptown.

• Friend of AG.com and former "Gleeman and The Geek" guest Jack Moore has a Kickstarter-driven project at the Beacon Reader, which is the type of thing baseball fans should support.

Jason Isbell chatting with Marc Maron was basically my idea of podcasting perfection. And they even recorded the episode in Minnesota.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Hairy twins"
- "Ricky Rubio tattoo"
- "Can I eat baked chicken wings after late-night workout?"
- "Did Brock Lesnar play for the Minnesota Twins?"
- "Greg Gagne net worth"
- "Minnesota Twins players with beards"
- "Can you break your ear cartilage?"
- "Kevin Slowey shirtless"
- "I'm a teen and I want to work at Pizza Hut"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "So Special" by Lil Wayne and John Legend:


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February 21, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Back in my day babies played much better man-to-man defense.

• If you want to sell a shitload of girl scout cookies just set up a table in front of a pot dispensary.

• I took notes while reading Molly Fitzpatrick's guide to making out in bars.

• Oh nothing, just someone eating four Chipotle burritos in three minutes without exploding.

• At some point very soon I'm going to be the last single person not on Tinder.

• Multiple studies show that Minnesota men are really bad at sex.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode John Bonnes scolded me for not kissing girls quickly enough, we sang the praises of Rye Deli, and celebrated pitchers and catchers reporting.

Pitbull and Kesha isn't really a combination that interests me, but a doo-wop cover of Pitbull and Kesha is right up my alley:

(Note: I refuse to use a dollar sign for Mase's name, so I'm damn sure not using it for Kesha.)

CC Sabathia is legitimately skinny now, which means he also probably misses Chinese food.

Maggie LaMaack's media blitz continues with another City Pages cover story, this one about 50 things to do in the Twin Cities before you die. I've done 12 of them and will likely die very soon.

• LaMaack also took time out of her cover story-writing schedule to interview one of my top 30 local tweeters, the ever-hilarious Ampersandria.

• At least we'll be able to continue doing the podcast even if one of us gets arrested.

Mike Redmond took a big step in his second year as manager, allowing the Marlins to grow beards after Ricky Nolasco broke all the rules last season.

The Onion: "Tips for pulling an all-nighter."

• Bodies are the worst. Mark Mulder was making a comeback after not pitching since 2008 ... and ruptured his Achilles' tendon on Day 1.

• During his amazing show at First Avenue last week Jason Isbell told us about an incident in the audience the previous night and, the internet being the internet, someone caught it on video:

Wisconsin, man.

• This interview is decent, but the larger point is that there's a human being who looks like this.

• My first ever experience working from a coffee shop was captured by intrepid photojournalist and internet creeper Megan Weisenberger.

• I'm definitely not the type of person who feels at home working from a coffee shop, for several different reasons, but Spyhouse Coffee in Uptown was a perfectly lovely venue.

• Old friend Matt Capps is having shoulder problems for the second straight season.

• Brunch spot recommendation: Meritage in St. Paul. Expensive, but well worth it.

• I used Local Motion to move me from Minnetonka to Uptown and couldn't have been happier with the whole experience. Professional, friendly, and efficient.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Parker Hageman second chance"
- "Kat Dennings porn lookalike"
- "Robin Wright porn lookalike"
- "Chelsea Peretti porn lookalike"
- "1982 Minnesota Twins roster"
- "Elisha Cuthbert podcast"
- "Aaron Gleeman top tweeters"
- "Who is John Sharkman?"
- "No cake, no pizza, no Chinese food"
- "How much does a Twins player get paid?"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Can't Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West:

February 14, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• I loved Jason Isbell's concert at First Avenue last weekend and Chris Riemenschneider of the Minneapolis Star Tribune did a great job capturing the overall vibe in his review.

• My jobs have forced me to be involved in hundreds of mock drafts over the years, so the idea of someone intentionally ruining them is absolutely hilarious to me.

Headline of the week: "Minnesota woman accused of stealing camo lingerie from Fleet Farm."

Paul "Meatsauce" Lambert from KFAN and Falen Bonsett from KDWB told the story/stories of how they fell in love and it's basically the sweetest thing ever.

• As a child of divorce I'm not capable of handling my two favorites, Ma$e and J. Cole, beefing.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we broke down all of the Twins' spring training position battles, including Miguel Sano, and then John Bonnes mocked me for a bunch of stuff.

• I didn't win the Vita.mn "crush contest" and neither did my personal crush Ampersandria, but Jana Shortal is a worthy champion for whom I was proud to buy Rumple Minze shots.

• This was the official write-up/photo they chose for my candidacy:

crush contest

Tough to figure out why I didn't win, obviously.

• My mom finally met Paul Allen and now she has a crush on him.

• Athletes in the Olympic Village are using Tinder, which sounds like the premise of a porn movie.

• I do a similar thing to Kate Hansen's routine to prepare for blogging each morning.

• If you've ever wondered what it would sound like if I hastily left a bar around 11:00 p.m. to be interviewed about the Twins on Baseball Prospectus' podcast, this is your lucky day!

• I also joined the degenerates on "The Sportive" for a profanity-filled podcast about silliness.

Jay Z and Beyonce win the synchronized shade-throwing gold medal.

• Speaking of which: Surfbort.

• I'd probably need to be married for a decade before sharing my Netflix password with someone.

• I guess Kate Mara is decent looking if you're into that type of thing.

The Onion: "Coworkers Currently Gchatting About You."

• Superheroes have never done much for me and I've always wondered how so many guys got so obsessed with them. This video might answer that question:

As a little kid I had that same reaction the first time I saw Jarvis Brown pinch-run for the Twins.

• Reds closer Aroldis Chapman seems like a lot of fun:

Finally, a few minutes before 4 p.m., the curtains lift and Chapman descends the spiral staircase to the pool deck. He wears sandals, sunglasses and a tank top obscured by heavy gold chains. He lights a Marlboro Red cigarette and flops down onto an all-weather mattress near the pool.

"Why so late like this?" Maria Caridad asks. "Why all this sleeping?"

"There's nothing else to do," he says.

I'm another 40 miles per hour on my fastball away from being Chapman, basically.

• On a related note, we'll be joining forces to fight against this ridiculousness.

• Remember that incredibly embarrassing video of Twins Daily blogger Parker Hageman of a TLC reality show from 10 years ago? Well, he tried to explain himself (and his robe).

• Here's a glimpse into what it looks like when I'm straight up balling at Stella's.

• Netflix recommendation: "Strongman" is one of the most brutally honest, sweet, and ultimately depressing documentaries I've ever seen.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "TLC Second Chance"
- "Best soccer cover for tweeter"
- "Maria Bello porn lookalike"
- "Tila Tequila high school"
- "Bearded Minnesota Twins"
- "Aaron Gl"
- "Aaaron Gleeman"
- "Aaron Gleman"
- "Aaron Gleamon"
- "Aaron Gleemam"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Cover Me Up" by Isbell:

January 17, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Link-O-Rama favorite Dayn Perry went in search of Paul Molitor at his most handsome and what he found changed his life forever.

• I may never forgive myself for missing Sid Hartman's estate sale.

• I saw "Inside Llewyn Davis" and liked it enough to re-rank my favorite Coen Brothers movies.

• On a related note: Twitter is amazing and I'm horrible.

• In addition to being a great stand-up comedian Kyle Kinane spits truth about beards.

• I took a "what city should you actually live in?" quiz on Buzzfeed and got London, but honestly that's probably a little too far from Stella's.

• I was a "Baseball Stars" kid, but this is still fun news for anyone who grew up in the 1990s.

Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, and Jason Alexander got the band back together.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked about the Twins' spring training invite list, planned my upcoming move to New Zealand, and witnessed a first date in progress.

• It turns out that Robert Downey Jr. can really sing:

(Or at least can really sing kind of like Sting.)

Chris Brown of Grantland wrote a really good, in-depth article about how Pete Carroll and the Seahawks built the best defense in football.

• It's obvious from his eyes that the Cubs' new mascot has seen a lot of pain.

• I would watch CNN more if this was a regular thing for Randi Kaye.

Eric Decker has really come a long way since his days at the University of Minnesota.

• There's a new "concept store" opening in Hopkins "seeking individuals with existing knowledge of craft beer and/or whiskey." I'm happy to have a fallback plan in case NBCSports.com fires me.

• One of the most rewarding aspects of writing a super-personal birthday post about my life was hearing from people who've struggled with similar issues, including this well-written version.

• Who wore it better: Yours Truly or Bill Murray?

• Yeah, but still.

• As an egg-thrower from way back, Justin Bieber's current situation amuses me.

• Old friend Delmon Young signed a minor-league deal with Baltimore, where he could replace old friend Danny Valencia as the Orioles' platoon designated hitter versus left-handers.

• How did Possum Plows follow up her life-changing video from last week?

I like it. You know, for a song that isn't dedicated to me.

• I was pleased to see Bruce Springsteen give a nice shoutout to Jason Isbell.

Jeff Dubay was fired by 1500-ESPN in what the station called a cost-cutting move.

• Sisyphus Brewing is opening a taproom that features comedy and podcasting. Not a bad idea.

• Your weekly reminder that Aubrey Plaza is perfect.

• I really enjoyed the first episode of "True Detective" on HBO and you know there's some serious acting involved when these two can convincingly play police detectives.

• One of my favorite comedians, Morgan Murphy, has a new stand-up special on Netflix.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com Jon Marthaler for getting engaged to a lovely woman with iffy standards. I believe this means he owes $100,000 to John Bonnes now. Is that how it works?

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Clarence Clemons wanted to date Robin Quivers"
- "Nigella Lawson lookalike porn."
- "Son loses 150 pounds without telling family"
- "Lost weight using Lean Cuisines"
- "Chelsea players carrying brooms"
- "Drew Butera girlfriend"
- "Kate Mara with Boston Terriers"
- "Are the Coen brothers Jewish?"
- "Who has a crush on Aaron Gleeman?"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is Cory Chisel and Adriel Danae singing a live cover version of "Rosie" by Tom Waits:

December 20, 2013

My favorite songs of 2013

For some reason I went through Pitchfork's top 100 songs of 2013 and predictably found myself either disliking or never even hearing all but around a dozen songs, so I decided to put together my own top 30 37. It turns out that most of the songs I thought came out in 2013 actually came out in 2012 or maybe 2005, so this is hardly a definitive ranking. But whatever. Here are a bunch of songs I liked this year:


1. "Backseat Freestyle" by Kendrick Lamar


2. "Bad" by Wale and Rihanna


3. "Dear Marie" by John Mayer


4. "Power Trip" by J. Cole and Miguel


5. "Wake Me Up" by Avicii and Aloe Blacc


6. "Elephant" by Jason Isbell


7. "Bed Peace" by Jhene Aiko and Childish Gambino


8. "Hit Me" by Mystikal


9. "The Monster" by Eminem and Rihanna


10. "Wild Child" by Brett Dennen


11. "Hold On, We're Going Home" by Drake and Majid Jordan


12. "Crooked Smile" by J. Cole and TLC


13. "Gun" by Chvrches


14. "Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe" by Kendrick Lamar


15. "Cover Me Up" by Jason Isbell


16. "Who You Love" by John Mayer and Katy Perry


17. "Poetic Justice" by Kendrick Lamar and Drake


18. "Love Is The Answer" by Aloe Blacc and Pharrell Williams


19. "Don't Wait" by Mapei


20. "She Knows" by J. Cole


21. "When We Were Young" by Brett Dennen


22. "Wildfire" by John Mayer


23. "Rich As Fuck" by Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz


24. "Royals" by Lorde


25. "Different Days" by Jason Isbell


26. "Do I Wanna Know" by Arctic Monkeys


27. "Tired Of Dreaming" by Wale, Ne-Yo, and Rick Ross


28. "Sweet Persuasion" by Brett Dennen


29. "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk and Pharrell Williams


30. "Beautiful Day" by Joshua Radin


31. "Love Me" by Lil Wayne, Drake, and Future


32. "The Man" by Aloe Blacc


33. "My My Love" by Joshua Radin


34. "Body Party" by Ciara


35. "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?" by Arctic Monkeys


36. "Fuckin' Problem" by A$AP Rocky, Kendrick Lamar, 2 Chainz, and Drake


37. "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Possum Plows


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