June 20, 2014

Link-O-Rama

Tony Gwynn: Great baseball player, better dude.

• By using facial recognition software Match.com is offering to find someone who looks like your ex for the low, low price of $5,000.

Ryan Howard responded to Nickelback-listening allegations, which are very serious.

• I've had this blog since 2002, so I'm biased, but it's surprising that only seven percent of people have a personal website and that number jumps to only 15 percentage among millennials.

• "The Situation Arrested In Tanning Salon Brawl" is the least surprising headline of all time.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked about removing Sam Deduno from the Twins' rotation, Josmil Pinto's demotion to Triple-A, and how I became a cat person.

Lizzy Caplan and Scott Aukerman turn the tables and explain why men just aren't funny:

Every few months it's important to remember that Lizzy Caplan is the best.

• The man, the myth, the legend: Randball's Stu.

Mike Trout is, once again, the best player in baseball.

• As a big fan of the Oxford comma I'm pleased to see that I'm apparently in the majority.

• If we can start suing people for not understanding sarcasm I'm going to be a billionaire.

• AMC has already ordered a second season of the "Breaking Bad" spinoff "Better Call Saul" and the show isn't even scheduled to debut until 2015.

Sean Doolittle has the best strikeout-to-walk ratio in baseball history and it's not even close.

Ben Revere is the cutest and don't you ever forget it:

Also potentially relevant: Revere has a .665 OPS for the Phillies after posting a .645 OPS for the Twins, so he's been the same very interesting, very flawed, and ultimately very mediocre player.

• Fresh off his wedding party taking a group photo on a dock as it collapsed, friend of AG.com and "No Juice Podcast" co-host Dan Anderson took his new bride on a honeymoon to the Dominican Republic ... and wrote about visiting the Twins' baseball academy there.

• Not only is the food incredibly disappointing, everything about BoneYard's brunch setup sounds disgusting to me.

• At the opposite end of the spectrum one of my favorite new restaurants, Heyday, is starting brunch service next month.

• I saw Lake Street Dive at The Cedar a few months ago and they were great, so everyone should go see them at the First Avenue mainroom on August 27.

• One of my favorite stand-up comedians, Jen Kirkman, is coming to Acme Comedy Company in late September. I'll be there and you should be too.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Tom Barnard baseball scout"
- "10-pound Chinese foods"
- "Trevor May throws hard"
- "David Ortiz blames Tom Kelly"
- "Ryan Doumit shirtless"
- "Shane Mack's new album"
- "Dime store Ryan Gosling"
- "Jim Souhan is fit"
- "Michael Jordan striking a baseball"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Oxford Comma" by Vampire Weekend:


This week's blog content is sponsored by R.F. Moeller Jeweler's repair department, which is recognized as the premier jewelry repair facility in the Twin Cities. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

November 8, 2013

Link-O-Rama

Mase is releasing a new album for the first time in nearly a decade, which means I might have to update my Twitter profile. This is a big deal for me, guys.

• I've been thinking about moving away from the suburbs and getting a new place in uptown or maybe downtown, but something tells me I wouldn't fit in at this apartment bro-plex (although obviously $2,800 per month for the penthouse is a steal).

• There's a "Ladies Night Out" promotion for Timberwolves games in which $18 gets you a game ticket, a glass of wine, and Season 1 of "Girls" on DVD. Seriously.

• Texans coach Gary Kubiak suffering a stroke on the field Sunday night got me thinking about the worst day of my life, which I wrote about in 2003 for a non-fiction literature class in college.

• I'm saving myself for divorce, personally.

Sarah Silverman and Todd Glass goofing around with Doug Benson on "Getting Doug With High" is one of my favorite things ever.

Zach Galifianakis got real skinny all of a sudden. Must be on that baseball blogger diet.

Usain Bolt revealed that he ate exclusively McDonald's while in Beijing for the Olympics and consumed approximately 1,000 chicken nuggets in 10 days. He won three gold medals.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode I told an incredibly embarrassing story about my weekend and then the show had the worst ending in the history of podcasts.

• I'm sure Ricky Rubio is perfectly capable of singing some fantastic Bill Withers covers, but until then Victor Oladipo is my new favorite basketball player:

Having talent must be really fun.

Mike Napoli celebrated the Red Sox's title in style, and that style was shirtless and drunk.

• Not ashamed to admit that I read this entire history of the Trapper Keeper.

• As far as mash-ups go, Lorde and The Spin Doctors are a surprisingly enjoyable combination.

• I'm not delusional enough to think the Twins might actually sign any of these guys, but I wrote about them anyway.

• Old friend Matthew LeCroy was named the Nationals' new bullpen coach at age 37.

Ben Revere's honeymoon in Philadelphia was a short one.

Jon Marthaler filed his final post for Twinkie Town, which kindly put together a comprehensive best-of collection that highlights just how much fun he's been to read over there since 2007. You can still listen to Marthaler every week in his role as ringmaster on "The Sportive" podcast.

• Speaking of Twinkie Town, they're looking to add some new writers to the staff.

• I'm sad about Rusty Quarters closing because it was a great place to re-live childhoods, but I'm especially worried what it will do to the psyche of Minnesota's favorite manchild, Dana Wessel.

• Blockbuster is closing 300 stores, putting an end to what was basically the center of my universe in Highland Park for a few years in the mid-90s. I want to rent "Kids" on VHS one last time.

• At long last, a useful PR e-mail pitch: "I look forward to us starting a long and exciting wine journey together."

• My future wife is so good that she can even make me like Elvis Presley:

 Possum Plows is dominating Link-O-Rama like few others in AG.com history.

• Tuesday afternoon First Avenue announced that Dave Chappelle is coming to town to do two shows Monday night and I felt so proud of myself for snagging tickets before they both sold out within an hour. I felt slightly less proud when First Avenue later added two shows Tuesday, two shows Wednesday, and two shows Thursday because of the tremendous demand. Either way, it should be great. Shows that start at 10:30 on Monday nights are where insomniacs shine.

• Speaking of stand-up comedy, in the first step toward my goal of creating a comedy club club I'm taking a big group of people to see Tom Segura tape his new television special Saturday at the Cowles Center. If that goes well, we might have some traction on the club idea.

• This is just a really cool thing to be known for.

• Obviously this kid read my interview about Twitter dating last week and took my advice to heart.

• My texting experience is very similar to Aziz Ansari's texting experience, sadly.

• On a related note, Ansari's new stand-up special "Buried Alive" was just released on Netlix and I liked it a lot after previously being ambivalent about him. Much more personal, interesting stuff.

Jen Kirkman's quarterly appearance on "The Crab Feast" with Jay Larson and Ryan Sickler is always a must-listen.

• I've long said that Chelsea Peretti is the best and here's compelling evidence to back that up.

• I just discovered the "Hip Hop BBQ" station on Pandora and it has changed my entire life.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Aaron Gleeman recipe"
- "Aaron Gleeman over-sharing"
- "Aaron Gleeman plaid shirts"
- "Aaron Gleeman dead"
- "How to prepare yourself to starve"
- "Is 36 pounds bad if you're a 2-year-old?"
- "Bed snacks for 11-year-olds"
- "Gang dressed in orange"
- "Great player cut by Twins"

• Finally, in honor of my recent interest in changing zip codes this week's AG.com-approved music video is Susan Tedeschi doing a live cover version of "Gonna Move" by Paul Pena:


Interested in sponsoring a week of AG.com and advertising your product, service, local business, or website directly to thousands of readers each day? Click here for details.

October 11, 2013

Link-O-Rama

• This week the New York Times' "fashion and style" section featured an article by Matt Haber about Minnesotans trying to date in Uptown. It was met mostly with derision, as locals felt it was cheesy and cliche-filled. And it definitely was, as the intro makes very clear:

As night-life emissaries go, one could do worse than Robert John Wayne, a 31-year-old artist here who happily told a recent visitor about everything from an indigenous delicacy called the Juicy Lucy (a burger with cheese baked into the patty) to what women want, something Mr. Wayne should know, seeing as how he's dating four of them.

"Nobody's exclusive," he said "That's what dating is." Mr. Wayne, who described his work as "graffiti realism," was at Mortimer's, a wood-paneled bar on Lyndale Avenue in the swath of Minneapolis known as Uptown.

However, as someone who started hanging out in Uptown recently I mostly found it amusing and made a joke about what a quote of mine would've looked like in the article. And then a few days later friend of AG.com Randball's Stu wrote a brilliant parody of the Times article starring local sports bloggers for the Minneapolis Star Tribune's site. I'd suggest reading the Times version first and then reading Stu's version, because it's a masterful spoof, but here's how it begins:

As night-life emissaries go, one could do better than Aaron Gleeman, a 30-year-old Minnetonka sports blogger who wearily told a recent visitor about everything from a baseball statistic called FIP (Fielding Independent Pitching) to what women want, something Mr. Gleeman shouldn't know, seeing as how he recently asked one if he could live-tweet their date.

"It's an endless series of half-starts and missed opportunities," he said. "That's what dating is." Mr. Gleeman, who described his work as "sitting at my computer and writing about baseball as I wait for death's sweet embrace," was at Stella's, a multi-level bar in the swath of Minneapolis known as Uptown.

And then it just keeps building from there. As one of the main characters I'm biased, but it's one of the funniest things I've ever read and so perfectly matches the tone and structure of the New York Times version. My sincere hope is that for the rest of my life whenever anyone Googles me that article is the first result they see. Also, you should follow Stu on Twitter for more genius.

• Here's a non-parody response to the New York Times dating-in-Minnesota article that's also interesting. I'm definitely very guilty of No. 2 on her list and thought for a second she might be talking about me with the quote: "We had a really awesome date and then he bailed on the second date citing 'baseball' as the reason."

• So the Twins are hiring a "full-time data engineer" and OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE COMMENTS.

• Going back to read the stuff about Christian Ponder from right after the Vikings drafted him is quite an experience.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked a ton about Ron Gardenhire, sung the praises of 612 Brew, and unknowingly had our picture taken from across the bar.

• I'm probably Hawk Harrelson's biggest/only fan in Minnesota, but Awful Announcing's lengthy compilation of the season's best "Sad Hawk" moments is undeniably magical:

Harrelson is the Vin Scully of freaking out on the air when things go against the White Sox.

• Speaking of which, Scully will record your outgoing voicemail message for $299 and the money goes to Autism charity. "Hello, this is Vin Scully. You’ve reached Aaron, but there’s zero chance he wants to talk to you, or anyone, on the phone. Seriously, just text him. But leave a message if you want to, I guess."

• Scully's radio call of Juan Uribe's series-winning homer was predictably lovable.

• No one ever listens to me about John Mayer, but maybe you'll listen to Molly Lambert and Tess Lynch.

• Seriously, are any of you even real?

• Twins Daily's annual "Offseason Handbook" is available for presale, so order now and you can get tons of great content featuring analysis of free agent and trade targets, payroll breakdowns, and organizational depth charts for just $4.95. Not only is it a worthwhile product for a very fair price, buying the "Offseason Handbook" also supports all the free content John Bonnes, Parker Hageman, Nick Nelson, and Seth Stohs churn out at Twins Daily all season.

• Hageman's year-end collection of Twins numbers has lots of interesting tidbits.

• I'm not on Tinder, in part because I have a Blackberry and in part because it sounds awful, but if I were on it I'd follow this guy's lead and exclusively talk to women in rap lyrics.

David Ortiz celebrating with Koji Uehara is not safe for work.

• America's highest-paid sportswriter.

• It might be time to re-think America's drug laws now that they're hurting our chubby comedians.

Aubrey Plaza behaved around Chris Bosh the same way I'd behave around Aubrey Plaza.

• In addition to being one half of my favorite podcast, Dave Shumka also writes funny stuff for CBC Music, like how WebMD would diagnose Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus based on their lyrics.

• Take two minutes and see why Jen Kirkman is great:

Related: My mom really liked that video.

Michael Rand is now shooting daily videos for the Minneapolis Star Tribune's website and his latest captures the pure, unadulterated Dana Wessel Experience.

Gabe Vodicka of Flagpole wrote a really good article about Jason Isbell's success as a solo artist, struggles with substance abuse, and songwriting prowess. I'm going to see Isbell at the Varsity Theater in a couple weeks and couldn't be more excited about it.

• How much payroll space do the Twins have and will they actually spend it?

This exchange made me chuckle. Funny how fast it goes from strong opinion nationally to being nice locally.

• Also: Presented without comment, other than to say those all occurred within 24 hours.

Amy Poehler wrote about working at an ice cream parlor for The New Yorker.

Marc Maron's new stand-up comedy special "Thinky Pain" is now available on Netflix and I love that the first person you see and hear is Tom Scharpling giving a pep talk.

• I enjoyed Todd Barry's chat with Natasha Leggero.

• Does anyone in or around Green Bay have any leads on lodging for Packers-Vikings weekend next month? I'm thinking about driving there with a bunch of doofuses, but hotels are all booked up and we'd rather not make a trek from somewhere like Appleton. We're willing to get creative.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Professional baseball duos"
- "Aaron Gleeman hot wife"
- "What if I eat Green Giant steamers every night?"
- "Nick Punto head-first slide"
- "Influential conservative podcasts"
- "Aaron gettin fat"
- "0.25 pounds in one day is how many pounds in one year?"
- "Lori Loughlin socks"

• Finally, because I stumbled across this video and immediately fell in love with both the singer and her acoustic rendition of the Whitney Houston song this week's AG.com-approved music video is Possum Plow's cover of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody":


Interested in sponsoring a week of AG.com and advertising your product, service, local business, or website directly to thousands of readers each day? Click here for details.

July 12, 2013

Link-O-Rama

Robby Incmikoski is back in our lives! Missing you, buddy.

• It's been a rough week for Oswaldo Arcia, who struck out a bunch of times, got featured on Deadspin, and then proved that he isn't Bo Jackson.

Forbes' list of the 10 highest-paid comedians makes me feel sad about our country's collective sense of humor, although at least Louis C.K. is getting rich.

• I'd have lost so much money buying Lauryn Hill stock in 1998. One of the best-looking people ever, two of the best albums of the 1990s by age 23, and then ... nothing. I'm putting together a team to break her out of jail.

• One of the odder examples of Torii Hunter, media darling.

• Last month's party bus went so well that we're opening things up to the blog-reading, podcast-listening public with a light rail bar crawl and Twins game. Sign-ups start next week.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode John Bonnes realized he did something very stupid in the middle of the podcast and then I took a picture of it.

• "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke loses a little something when not attached to the uncensored music video, but this version might be even better:

Actually, maybe every music video should just be remade with that same footage.

• FSN is taking applications for a new Fox Sports North Girl and I'm told that my idea to start an internet campaign to get me the job is a no-go, so actual qualified candidates can apply here.

• "Minnetonka Man" is back in the news.

• How secure can Ron Gardenhire's job be if the Twins have a third straight 90-loss season?

Dave Shumka, whose show "Stop Podcasting Yourself" is my favorite podcast among the 40 or so I listen to regularly, was nearly shot in the head by someone who later shot themselves. It's a harrowing story, the details of which Shumka went into further on this week's episode.

• My mom's favorite news of the week.

• In one of the most spectacular plays you'll ever see, Carlos Gomez robbed Joey Votto of a two-run, go-ahead homer with two outs in the ninth inning. My favorite part is Votto repeatedly screaming at the umpire to "check his glove!" because he can't believe it.

• My weight loss has made an impact internationally.

• There's no doubt that chubby Chris Pratt is funnier, but this is still damn impressive.

• One of the better e-mails from a PR person I've ever gotten.

• It depressed me how many of these "30 Signs You're Almost 30" hit home with me and then I got even sadder after remembering that I'm already 30.

• Twins Daily blogger Seth Stohs threw out the first pitch at a Cedar Rapids Kernels game:

He's now the Twins' third starter.

Baseball America's midseason top 50 prospects list had Byron Buxton at No. 1 and Miguel Sano at No. 3. How rare is it for one team to have multiple prospects in the top five?

Elisha Cuthbert, who held the Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com title from 2004-2006, got married to NHL player Dion Phaneuf.

Brandon Belt joined some rare company by going 0-for-8 with a platinum sombrero.

• Nationals shortstop Ian Desmond shaved his goatee between innings of a game.

Anna Benson was arrested for putting on a bullet-proof vest and raiding ex-husband Kris Benson's house with a gun and a metal baton.

Alison Agosti's dating advice has me considering a new sport: "My roommate is on a kickball team and everybody has sex with everybody."

• I finally figured out a way to become a television superstar.

• I laughed: "Ron Wehking, 68, the last known optimistic Twins fan, finally gave up on the 2013 Twins on Thursday afternoon."

• My weekly half-hour chat with Paul Allen on KFAN included the usual silliness, some gambling talk, and a shoutout to Phil Miller of the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

• You don't see many comedians go on talk shows and tell one five-minute joke, but Jay Larson did exactly that on "Conan" and killed:

Larson also co-hosts a good podcast with Ryan Sickler called "The Crab Feast."

Terry Ryan answered about 500 questions from Darren Wolfson of 1500ESPN.com.

• I saw the trailer for Spike Lee's upcoming movie "Oldboy" and it's so up my alley that I watched the Korean version on Netflix just to prepare myself.

• "Jordan, Jesse, Go!" is one of my favorite podcasts and Jen Kirkman is always an excellent guest on any podcast, so this week's episode was great.

Ben Schwartz, who plays Jean-Ralphio Saperstein on "Parks and Recreation" and is also in a bunch of movies, was a very funny chat partner for Paul F. Tompkins.

• Some guy registered on MinnPost just to make this comment.

• People in Milwaukee should go see Carson Cistulli and Dayn Perry read poetry on July 20.

• This has nothing to do with anything, but remember that time Kim Kardashian met Drew Butera and Matt Capps?

• If you're interested in sponsoring AG.com the next two weeks are open. Details here.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Robby Incmikoski real name"
- "Minnesota Twins donuts"
- "Aaron Gleeman e-mail"
- "Anderson Silva baseball"
- "Matt Harvey boxers or briefs?"
- "How big of a pizza can I eat to lose pounds?"
- "Roy Smalley hair"
- "John Sharkman"
- "Bert Blyleven can't get into Canada"
- "Glen Perkins dating Aaron Gleeman"

• This week's AG.com-approved music video is "Doo Wop (That Thing)" by Lauryn Hill:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Curt's Salsa, a locally owned salsa company that believes in fresh ingredients and rooting for the little guy. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

May 24, 2013

Link-O-Rama

• News story lead sentence of the week: "In one instance, a bar in New Jersey mixed rubbing alcohol with caramel food coloring and served it as scotch."

• Behold, the dumbest PR pitch I've ever gotten. And that's saying something.

• If you've always wanted to hear a compilation of Alonzo Mourning being mentioned in rap songs this is your lucky day. Also, almost every lyric was "Mourning like Alonzo."

According to the guy who invented the GIF it's pronounced "jif" rather than "gif." I will, however, continue saying "jif or gif, whichever way you say it" every time I speak the word.

• One thing I know for certain about GIFs? They were made for Delmon Young.

Never forget: "Brian Dozier is going to be the next big thing for the Twins."

• I take a similar approach to dating, but thankfully a Honda Fit doesn't cause much damage.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked a lot about Kyle Gibson and Chris Colabello, and then John Bonnes got creeped out by my choice of romantic music.

• On a related note, I've been spending way too much time thinking of intro/outro songs for the radio show. They need to have a strong opening riff and first 30-45 seconds and be free of curse words, which rules out a ton of good ones. Here's my preliminary list, in alphabetical order.

• I've been wondering what my old pal and former FSN sideline reporter Robby Incmikoski is up to in his new gig with the Pirates and based on this video he's doing a lot of dry cleaning:

They were nice enough to provide him with a shower too, at least.

• I'm in search of a new role model after this devastating news, but we'll always have Super Stan.

• White Sox left-hander Chris Sale is a great pitcher, but as a lifelong fatso reading about how he eats like a pig and can't put on any weight makes me instinctively want to hate him forever.

Paul Allen warned that he had "a big surprise" planned for my weekly Thursday appearance on his show and it turned out to be my mom, three grade school friends, and a former "date" telling stories for a "This Is Your Life"-style segment. Here's photographic evidence of the story my mom told.

• And to think, I used to be considered the young baseball blogger as a 19-year-old.

• Hard as it is to believe, the Twins' rotation has actually been worse than last year's mess.

• I got a similar welcome to the NBC Sports office, except with cartons of Chinese food.

• Red Sox reliever Koji Uehara feels strongly about getting a high-five from Shane Victorino.

• Try to imagine one of the Minnesota newspapers running a story like this about a Twins player.

• Sabermetrics in urban planning? Sure, why not.

• Old friend Francisco Liriano is off to a great start with the Pirates.

• As someone forever nostalgic about 1990s music Target Field's just-announced July concert is intriguing, but I'm boycotting until Mase gets involved.

• This is easily the angriest I've ever been about anything.

Nick Offerman playing Alison Brie's father in a movie is going to break the internet and "The Kings Of Summer" looks pretty good too:

Lots of other funny people in the cast too.

Jen Kirkman, who's always a great podcast guest, has started her own podcast.

Question of the Week over at HardballTalk: If you could have a lengthy but mediocre MLB career would you choose to be a fifth starter (like Kevin Correia or Bruce Chen), a middle reliever (like Brandon Lyon or Chad Qualls), or a platoon hitter (like Reed Johnson or Jonny Gomes)? I gave my answer in the comments section.

Pamela Adlon, who voiced Bobby Hill on "King Of The Hill" and was in both of Louis C.K.'s television shows, was predictably a great/crazy guest on "WTF" with Marc Maron.

• Congratulations to Link-O-Rama regular Dana Wessel for his new gig with KTWIN-96.3, which adds a great producer and the best hair in Minnesota radio.

• In terms of Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com candidates, can this count as a first date?

• Positive customer service experiences are so rare that I feel like sharing one. Some keys on my year-old Macbook stopped working, so I took it to the Apple Store in Ridgedale Mall. It's my first non-PC and so naturally I was expecting the worst, but everyone there was incredibly helpful and friendly. And despite a 3-5 day repair timetable I got the Macbook back within 48 hours after the parts arrived and had a nice chat about the Twins with a Mac Genius who reads AG.com.

(If you're curious: He wants Aaron Hicks sent down, thinks the payroll is too low, and was sad to learn that I don't get to hang out with Dan Cole over at KFAN.)

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Can glass carry 150 pounds?"
- "Crush on Moira Kelly"
- "Kyle Kinane weight"
- "Have been lazy for 29 years"
- "Hardcore porn on Netflix"
- "Ryan Doumit shirtless"
- "Haralabos Voulgaris shirtless"
- "Al Newman clarinet"
- "What's the real news on Glen Perkins?"
- "How old is LaVelle E. Neal?"
- "How long on an elliptical to burn a beer?"
- "Similarities between Lindsay Lohan and Mila Kunis"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is a live version of "No Surrender" by Bruce Springsteen:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Ticket King, a local ticket broker that doesn't charge check-out fees, offers in-store pickup, and specializes in Twins tickets. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

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