AaronGleeman.com

• I mentioned this briefly last week, but now that there's an actual page devoted to it on KFAN's website it's officially too late to back out:

I'm not sure why they used a picture of me from 100 pounds ago, but maybe that's just KFAN's way of keeping expectations incredibly low and/or bringing in the chubby chaser demographic. Whatever the case, Thursday at the Minnesota State Fair there will be a dating game-style show on KFAN featuring me as the bachelor and Paul Allen as the host. I'm expecting to either find a wife or die of embarrassment on air, with nothing in between. Good radio either way.

If you're single woman between the ages of, say, 20 and 40, go to the "Girls Gone Gleeman" page on KFAN's website for details and fill out an application.

• Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce meets The Bluth Company for an all-time great worlds colliding.

• While at the fair I'll probably not be eating any of this stuff unless I decide to start looking like that old picture again.

• Tom Barnard is doing what's commonly known as "a reverse Gleeman and The Geek."

• 1500-ESPN is no longer the radio home of the Twins, who announced their move from AM to FM and the Pohlad family-owned KTWN-96.3. David Brauer of MinnPost analyzed what the move means for 1500-ESPN and looked at how the Twins fit on a music-only station.

• Happy birthday to Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com Mila Kunis, who turned 29 this week. To celebrate, I watched this GIF and applied to have that silly restraining order dropped.

• "Mila, what's your reaction to that weird baseball blogger always talking about you?"

• I'm hoping everyone checked out the AG.com sponsor of the week, Emily Meier, a fiction author with a very compelling story. Here's part of a Minneapolis Star Tribune profile of her:

For years, there had been nibbles from publishers in New York, but no bites. Now, with breast cancer metastasizing through her bones, she decided she didn't have time to wait; she would publish them herself. But because she was Emily Meier--driven, focused, hardworking--she didn't do this halfway. Instead, she started her own publishing company.

Sky Spinner Press of St. Paul, incorporated as a for-profit business and co-owned by Meier's son and daughter, has published all six of her books in record time. ... The books are done, but Meier continues to write daily---her website (www.emilymeier.com) is an orderly maze of drop-down menus and essays and suggestions for book clubs and links to reviews and interviews. There's even a page of quotes from rejection letters she received over the years.

As someone whose entire writing career has been shaped and fueled by rejection I view Meier as a kindred spirit and it would make me incredibly happy if everyone who visited AG.com this week would take some time to visit her website as well. Poke around Meier's site, look at the rejection letters, get familiar with her collection of writing, and help fulfill someone's dream.

• If you won't listen to me about the stupidity of thinking no-hitters can be "jinxed" then at least listen to the greatest baseball announcer of all time.

• MLB.com has a video showing all 27 of Felix Hernandez's perfect game outs in six minutes:

And there are some impressive perks for making baseball history.

• Why did the Twins send Brian Dozier to Triple-A? I'm glad you asked.

• And when will the Twins recall Chris Parmelee from Triple-A? I'm glad you asked that too.

• Johan Santana is making me sad.

• I've never understood why Ashley Greene isn't way more famous than Kristen Stewart.

• Well, there goes my plan to take over the Minnesota Daily someday.

• Pretty good, especially Jerry Hairston: MLB players audition for The Expendables 3.

• I spent all week pouring over Rotoworld's online fantasy football draft guide to prepare for my keeper league draft and can't recommend it enough. Great content, constantly updated.

• Speaking of which, the Orioles had a unique idea to determine their league's draft order.

• Let's all pool our money together and buy this.

• I can't even imagine how long this masterpiece took to piece together, but "Baby Got Back" sung entirely from movie clips is definitely worth it:

Sir Mix-A-Lot would be proud.

• I'm thrilled to see Pulitzer winner, journalism professor, and all-around great guy Chris Ison looking good three months after a life-threatening propane accident.

• Nick Nelson and his famous "mustard face" made an appearance on FSN.

• For anyone into documentaries, find out where Queen of Versailles is playing near you and go see it. Equal parts interesting, sad, funny, and infuriating, and showing at the Landmark Edina theater in Minnesota.

• Podcast recommendation: I've been going through the archives of Stop Podcasting Yourself with Graham Clark and Dave Shumka all week, listening to multiple episodes per day.

• In retrospect, I guess "warlock" would have been the proper choice.

• My beloved Hardball Dynasty league on WhatIfSports.com starts a new season next week. If you're interested in joining, click here for more details.

• I wrote an article for the Society for American Baseball Research convention program that was a condensed version of my still-unfinished-on-the-blog "Top 40 Minnesota Twins" series. My article, along with articles from familiar names like John Bonnes, is now available online.

• Back by popular demand, this week's most amusing, weird, and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Tsuyoshi Nishioka smoking"
- "Turkey hen weight after one year"
- "James Deen Hebrew school"
- "Michael Beasley publicist"
- "Dick Bremer salary"
- "Nick Blackburn awful"
- "Troy Aikman running"
- "Dana Wessel Chaska Redhawks"
- "Moira Kelly weight loss"
- "Delbert Young"
- "Will fried rice make you lose weight?"
- " Hawk Harrelson mental illness"

• Finally, in honor of "Girls Gone Gleeman" this week's AG.com-approved music video is The Black Keys' cover version of "Have Love, Will Travel":

This week's blog content is sponsored by Sky Spinner Press and EmilyMeier.com. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

Topics for this week's episode of Gleeman and The Geek included the Twins' odds of contending or rebuilding in 2013, where Chris Parmelee eventually fits into the lineup, exactly how bad Tsuyoshi Nishioka looked, whether Nick Blackburn should stick around with a 7.50 ERA, Liam Hendriks' and Brian Dozier's long-term outlook, which of us would make a worse Olympian, Bert Blyleven vs. Patrick Reusse, and why I won't go to Las Vegas with John Bonnes.

Gleeman and The Geek: Episode 54

In addition to the direct download link above you can also subscribe to the podcast via iTunes.

This week's blog content is sponsored by Sky Spinner Press and EmilyMeier.com. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

• Eric Chavez throwing the ball back to an unsuspecting Cody Eppley is GIF magic.

• Nicolas Batum's nut-punching above replacement level is off the charts, which is no doubt why the Timberwolves made such a strong run at him this offseason.

• See, now they're just taunting me. Might be time to evaluate some other candidates.

• In honor of Usain Bolt's latest gold medal the New York Times created a fascinating video showing the evolution of the 100-meter dash at the Olympics. Humans are pretty amazing.

• I'm pretty sure Google has been listening to Gleeman and The Geek and is now inventing things specifically for me.

• Sid Hartman's recent Minneapolis Star Tribune column includes a note saying that "it's unlikely 1500-AM will carry Twins broadcasts beyond this season."

• For anyone interested in local radio ratings, my MinnPost colleague David Brauer has the latest numbers and analysis. Short version: KFAN continues to dominate.

• Update on my all-Chinese food diet: I ate hunan chicken from Yangtze almost literally every day for an entire month and gained 10 pounds. I'm not sure what was accomplished, other than learning I'm still capable of being a fastso, but now I'm back on the low-calorie wagon.

• Behold, the worst play of the season:

On a related note, for as awful as the Twins have been since the beginning of 2011 they've got 20 more wins than the Astros during that time. Seriously: 112-162 compared to 92-182.

• Ricky Gervais is the latest comedian to ride in Jerry Seinfeld's car and go for coffee.

• Amelia Rayno of the Minneapolis Star Tribune wrote an excellent article about Corey Koskie's life after a concussion ruined his baseball career.

• Tim Allen, who blogged excellently and creatively about the Timberwolves at Canis Hoopis since 2009, committed suicide at age 29.

• Turner Broadcasting bought Bleacher Report for $175 million.

• Frank Viola's daughter, Brittany Viola, finished 15th in the Olympic diving semi-finals.

• Carson Cistulli put together some good advice for how to become an internet baseball writer, although he oddly left out "be incredibly handsome."

• As always my favorite podcast guest, Chelsea Peretti, was great on Doug Loves Movies with Doug Benson, Sarah Silverman and Anthony Jeselnik. And my friend and former Rotoworld colleague Gregg Rosenthal was actually in the audience.

• Speaking of Peretti, she makes a cameo appearance in this amusing compilation video of all the times Louis C.K. has said "I'm sorry" on Louie:

Also: Joan Rivers.

• Freakonomics Radio explains why getting a college degree isn't always so valuable.

• On the other hand, things are looking up for journalism school graduates these days.

• Old school Orioles catcher Gus Triandos had a very memorable place in The Wire world, but the show had plenty of other sports-related story lines too.

• It turns out the Minneapolis Star Tribune headline about "weed dating" was a false alarm.

• Tuesday morning I was getting tweets saying stuff like "do you really wear tuxedo t-shirts?" and "what's with a polka dot fanny pack?" and "uh, you may want to turn on KFAN." I listened to the podcast later and heard Paul Allen and Marney Gellner discuss "Girls Gone Gleeman" without me even being present, including Gellner replying "I follow him on Twitter and his mom is a sweetheart" when asked if she knew me. Which, really, should be on my tombstone.

• I was in-studio to defend my honor yesterday and PA threw a curveball by actually wanting to talk Twins for a while. We eventually got to the "Girls Gone Gleeman" situation, which now includes at least one legitimate applicant. And if you listen to the podcast you can hear PA's reaction when I strip down to reveal an actual tuxedo t-shirt that was shipped overnight via Amazon.com just for the occasion. In other words, things are getting very serious.

• And because KFAN clearly hadn't devoted enough airtime to my love life this week, two hours later PA cold-called me at home live on the air to deliver some breaking "Girls Gone Gleeman" news. FSN sideline reporter Robby Incmikoski was in-studio at the time, so we became pals again and at some point I agreed to let him serve as a special guest judge for the dating game-style show we're planning at the state fair. He seems excited about it, at least.

• I've been on Twitter for three years and this is by far my most successful use of the medium:

It turns out running your fingers through my hair can be very addicting.

• On a related note, looks like we'll be doing a live Gleeman and The Geek show from the KFAN booth at the state fair on August 26. My guess is we'll take lots of audience questions, so if you've ever wanted to see John Bonnes arguing with me in person this is your big chance.

• Your weekly reminder that Vin Scully is the best.

• Jon Weisman is right: This picture made me smile.

• For some reason my rush-delivered tuxedo t-shirt did not come with any huge guns.

• What music would you listen to if you'd been deaf for your entire life and could finally hear?

• In which I sing a Beyonce song to Danny Valencia.

• If you look up "hero" in the dictionary ... well, you'll see a definition. Also, this Julie Klausner story is pretty great.

• If you're into basketball, sports betting, poker, or (like me) all of the above Jay Caspian Kang's podcast interview with longtime AG.com favorite Haralabos Voulgaris is a must-listen.

• Back by popular demand, this week's most amusing, weird, and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Bert Blyleven fart"
- "Boof Bonser salary"
- "Brian Dinkelman salary"
- "J.J. Hardy wife"
- "Can a catcher also play outfield"
- "Ben Revere throwing arm"
- "Michelle Beadle twinkie"
- "Chelsea Peretti drugs"
- "Parker Posey weight"
- "Dirty slide slow pitch softball"
- "Joe Thurston ex-girlfriend"
- "Tsuyoshi Nishioka error"
- "Christopher Nolan baseball"
- "Fat man stuffing his face"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is the album version of "Where We Gonna Go From Here" by Mat Kearney:

This week's blog content is sponsored by DiamondCentric's new "Walks Will Haunt" t-shirt, which looks good on any Twins fan. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

Topics for this week's episode of Gleeman and The Geek included dumping Danny Valencia, bringing back Tsuyoshi Nishioka, what the trade deadline inactivity means, what can be done about the Twins' medical staff, John Bonnes' new motorcycle, Alex Wimmers' elbow surgery, and an on-site report about Miguel Sano, Eddie Rosario, and the prospect-laden Beloit team from special guest Seth Stohs. Oh, and Beyonce.

Gleeman and The Geek: Episode 53

In addition to the direct download link above you can also subscribe to the podcast via iTunes.

Interested in sponsoring a week of AG.com for your business/product? Click here for details.

• If you thought Tom Hardy was hard to understand as Bane, wait until you hear the original.

• Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com candidate Aubrey Plaza seems nice.

• Delmon Young is back in court and looking for a plea deal in his hate crime case. Mazel tov!

• Lew Ford is 35 years old and back in the majors for the first time since 2007.

• My mom sent me this link and wrote "could be trouble."

• And then about three minutes later she sent me this link and wrote "sorry."

• Let this be a lesson to local mainstream media: Being nice to bloggers is good for business.

• Nine rejections, one chip on your shoulder, and zero other ideas can make you do something for 10 years. Thankfully.

• Speaking of which, can I use all you guys as references? Fingers crossed!

• My blogging debut on August 1, 2002 was about the Marlins overworking A.J. Burnett. One day short of exactly 10 years later Burnett threw a one-hit shutout.

• This is the perfect tweet, obviously.

• Vin Scully + Twitter = adorable:

I still tune into Dodgers games almost every night just to hear him, at age 84.

• Maybe things get polished a little bit in translation, but Andrei Kirilenko comes across as incredibly smart in this interview about signing with the Timberwolves.

• Guess who leads the AL in homers, RBIs, slugging percentage, and OPS since May 15?

• Amanda Dobbins examined if The Cutting Edge holds up 20 years later, which reminded me that I watched it at least 10 times on television as a kid and had a crush on Moira Kelly.

• Speaking of movies I've seen on TV double-digit times, Super Troopers is getting a sequel.

• I never know what topics Paul Allen has in mind when I show up to KFAN's studio and this week we ended up talking about our respective food issues and my weight loss quite a bit.

• For anyone who heard the aforementioned weight loss discussion on KFAN yesterday and wants to know more about my story, click here.

• My bourbon-drinking buddy Cee Angi has a very interesting article about the role of gender in baseball writing.

• I'm ashamed and disgusted to admit how charmed I was by this conversation between Carson Cistulli and Dayn Perry.

• Parker Posey had a great guest role on Louie and did an interview with Grantland about the experience which she ended by asking: "Why isn't there more ping-pong on television?"

• Glen Perkins shared some unique insight into the trade deadline experience.

• If you missed my analysis of the Francisco Liriano trade, I wrote a bunch of words about it and also talked a bunch about it on the radio.

• I'm convinced Paul F. Tompkins deserves a talk show, but these videos will have to suffice:

Zach Galifianakis is pretty good too, of course.

• My all-time favorite podcast guest, Chelsea Peretti, was predictably great on Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend.

• I was way too excited for Sunday's season premiere of Bar Rescue, which is my favorite cheesy reality show. You can watch the episodes online and fall in love with Jon Taffer.

• As someone who attended the annual National Sports Collectors Convention a handful of times as a kid, I can only imagine the crazy scene there as this happened.

• I got a nice e-mail from Steve Braun after he read my profile ranking him as the 35th-best player in Twins history. Now if only I had enough free time to finish the series. (Sorry.)

• UFC fans will enjoy watching Tito Ortiz's informal, two-hour conversation with Joe Rogan. It really changed the way I think of him.

• Netflix instant recommendation: Goon, which charmed me despite a shaky start.

• In terms of great Jon Hamm guest roles, this might be even better than his 30 Rock stint.

• Artie Lange, Todd Barry, and Greg Fitzsimmons was podcasting magic (and also filthy).

• Having dealt with them in the past, Metro Magazine closing up shop is sad but not surprising.

• Back by popular demand, this week's most amusing, weird, and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Aaron Gleeman fat"
- "Dick Bremer salary"
- "Binge once a week weight loss"
- "Aaron Gleeman chicken"
- "Jerome Felton girlfriend"
- "Hormel chicken packaging"
- "Rob McElhenney exact weight"
- "Yuengling in Minneapolis"
- "Mustache dresser games"
- "Back hair baseball jersey"
- "Jason Kubel's sister"
- "Jon Rauch tattoos"
- "Paul Charchian versus Karl Pilkington"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is a live version of "I Can't Hear You" by The Dead Weather:

This week's blog content is sponsored by the local B&B Blog, a top 20 accounting blog and "the most fascinating accounting blog in the world." Please support them for supporting AG.com.