December 31, 2014

Power Rankings: Top 30 Twin Cities Tweeters Of 2014

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I guess this is an annual thing now. Last year, in response to Maggie LaMaack ranking the "Top 20 Twin Cities Twitterers" for a City Pages article, I did my own ranking. Sure, it was controversial and ruined many friendships, but it also got people to step up their Twitter game. And that's all we should care about in this world, really. Anyway, below you'll find my updated rankings for 2014 in which I continue to say "Tweeters" instead of "Twitterers" and have expanded the list to 30.

(Note: @BJFait has been ruled ineligible for this list because her cat lives with me, but she is very funny on Twitter and also has very pretty eyes in real life. Everyone should follow her.)


Floyd Twitter1. @floyding (Zach Floyd)

Most underrated tweeter in Minnesota. Husband, father, friend of Ted Nugent. Lots of Louis C.K.-style parenting observations, but with visuals of the monsters.


Nora Purmort Twitter2. @noraborealis (Nora Purmort)

Wrote bravely, beautifully, and humorously about husband Aaron Purmort's battle with cancer and death. Mother of the world's cutest Instagram star, Ralphie.


Wessel Twitter3. @DanaWessel (Dana Wessel)

KTWIN-96.3 producer. Soccer weirdo. Bruce Springsteen aficionado. Runner of bits into the ground. No one looks better in a bandana.


Hageman Twitter4. @ParkerHageman (Parker Hageman)

Twins Daily blogger. Co-host of No Juice podcast. Go-to for scouting- and GIF-based Twins analysis. Live-tweeter of wife's driving. In possession of my elliptical machine.


Neuman Twitter5. @RandBallsStu (Steve Neuman)

Twitter-shaking switch from pseudonym to real name didn't cost any comedy. Runner of the Infinite Guest podcast network. Twinkie Town blogger. Packers fan troller.


Cameron Twitter6. @iamaromancer (Maria Cameron)

Deserves a much bigger Twitter following. Extremely funny, but also regularly writes poignant longer-form stuff. Questionable taste in boyfriends.


Swamptown Twitter7. @CSwamptown (Clarence Swamptown)

Co-host of The Sportive podcast. Rarely comes out of hiding, never reveals his real identity. Hater of tacos. Lover of firing everyone. Payroll whiner.


Rand Twitter8. @RandBall (Michael Rand)

The sun around which Minnesota's weird sports Twitter world revolves. Star Tribune digital sports editor and blogger. Elite baby/dog combo. Never played the game.


Zanatta Twitter9. @Mike_Zanatta (Mike Zanatta)

Best hair in the business. Big fan of the Timberwolves and doing pull-ups in front of windows. Pound for pound the Twin Cities' funniest sports tweeter.


LaMaack Twitter10. @MaggieLaMaack (Maggie LaMaack)

Publicist, writer, LOLOMG blog editor. Having more fun than her face suggests. Tinder savant. Upper Midwest mini corn dog-eating champion. Taylor Swift of Uptown.


Perkins Twitter11. @glenperkins (Glen Perkins)

Twins closer. Saved the All-Star game for the AL. Loves to interact with fans and fanboy bloggers. Very handsome, according to what my girlfriend says constantly.


Berry Twitter12. @_omgigi_ (Gigi Berry)

Minnesota's answer to Beyoncé, but with less Jay Z and more pizza. Always looking for bearded baes, never follicle flops. Elite emoji-ing.


Krawczynski Twitter13. @APkrawczynski (Jon Krawczynski)

Associated Press basketball, baseball, and football reporter. Not the guy from "The Office." Deserves less criticism than anyone, takes criticism better than everyone.


Ampersandria Twitter14. @ampersandria (Ampersandria Ya Dummy)

Transported here from a bygone era by the comedy gods. When not in the sky, can be found at a thrift store with wings on her eyes and hot Cheetos in her mouth.


Rupar Twitter15. @atrupar (Aaron Rupar)

FOX-9 reporter, ex-City Pages blogger. Liquor Lyle's regular. Timberwolves fan. Scarf-wearer. Repressed beardo. Our best mix of actual journalism and online silliness.


Welle Twitter16. @LizWelle (Liz Welle)

Burrito lover. Puts her hair up to prepare for eating chicken wings. Legend's legend.


Lambert Twitter17. @MeatSauce1 (Paul Lambert)

KFAN-100.3 morning show co-host, nicest person in radio. Anti-trolling troll. He wails.


Heidi Twitter18. @heidi_ugh (Heidi Ugh)

Comedy skills matched only by family's Coors Light-drinking skills. Nice to old people.


Brauer Twitter19. @dbrauer (David Brauer)

Veteran guru of local media landscape. Deservedly skeptical Twins season ticket holder.


Weisenberger Twitter20. @foyobli (Megan Weisenberger)

High school volleyball superstar. Lives life one brand at a time. Tweeter of good links.


Wolfson Twitter21. @DarrenWolfson (Darren Wolfson)

KSTP-5 and 1500-ESPN regular. Frequent scoop-getter. My mom's favorite on this list.


Rayno Twitter22. @AmeliaRayno (Amelia Rayno)

Star Tribune college basketball reporter. Bourbon drinker. Non-stop Bigfoot hunter.


Guentzel Twitter23. @LindsayGuentzel (Lindsay Guentzel)

Radio and TV host. Stella's regular. Cat/wine lady. Turns old furniture into antiques.


MFloyd Twitter24. @mfloyd21 (Melissa Floyd)

World's nicest mean person. Great taste in husbands. Biff Tannen to my Marty McFly.


Nelson Twitter25. @nnelson9 (Nick Nelson)

Twins Daily blogger. White rapper. Bad at Snapchat. Bullies people enjoying cat photos.


Marthaler Twitter26. @jmarthaler (Jon Marthaler)

The Sportive podcast ringleader. Star Tribune soccer blogger. Local sports masochist.


Jones Twitter27. @bianca101 (Bianca Jones)

World's smallest person with biggest-sounding name. WWE weirdo. Drinker of bad beer.


Berardino Twitter28. @MikeBerardino (Mike Berardino)

Pioneer Press reporter. Called "a prick" by Torii Hunter. Produces most Twins content.


29. @bbroxey (Brandon Broxey)Broxey Twitter

Moved from Texas just for this list. The Sportive podcast co-host. Tight pants wearer.


Bonnes Twitter30. @TwinsGeek (John Bonnes)

Took me out for milkshakes when I was 19 years old and now won't leave me alone.


If you read this whole thing and still won't follow @AaronGleeman on Twitter you're a monster.

May 9, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• "Gleeman and The Geek" was removed from iTunes on Wednesday because MLB contacted Apple to inform them about several team-related podcasts whose titles and logos "include infringing uses of trademarks of Major League Baseball and certain clubs." For our podcast that apparently boiled down to the inclusion of the words "Minnesota Twins" in the description, because our title and logo certainly weren't infringing on anything.

MLB and iTunes were both incredibly difficult to deal with, but eventually after almost an entire day of nagging them via phone calls, e-mails, and Twitter messages we received word that the whole thing was a big misunderstanding. I'm not sure I buy that, but ultimately I just wanted the silly podcast back on iTunes so people can listen to it and after 24 hours or so of being removed "Gleeman and The Geek" was finally restored.

And then, because my day wasn't surreal enough, Keith Olbermann devoted a segment of his ESPN show to "Gleeman and The Geek" being removed from iTunes. Seriously. Here's the video:

Thanks to Olbermann for sticking up for the little guy and also for making me laugh by questioning my sanity for "voluntarily talking about the Twins."

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode was recorded at my favorite bar, Stella's, and features me interviewing my favorite bartender, repeatedly revealing things I immediately regret revealing, and singing "Me and Mrs. Jones."

Shea Serrano of Grantland attempted to quantify which rappers you should and shouldn't get into a fight with and two of my favorites are on the extreme opposite sides of the spectrum.

• After studying Matt Daniels' brilliant analysis of the largest vocabularies in hip-hop I've come to the conclusion that the fewer words a rapper uses the more I like their music.

• Breaking news: Rihanna is more fun than Avril Lavigne.

• On a related note, Carmelo Anthony is only human.

• I'm way too excited about the news that the gross Rainbow Foods in Uptown will soon become a slightly less gross Cub Foods.

• One of my earliest crushes appears to be not doing so well, although maybe this is my chance.

• This video of two teenage girls fighting was fascinating and disturbing even before one of them got hit in the head with a shovel.

• Marlins minor leaguers are breaking their teammate's jaws in bar fights and I'm very proud of the photo I chose to use for the HardballTalk post.

• Who should be the Twins' starting shortstop? I'm glad you asked.

• As someone deathly afraid of talking to people on the phone I'm not sure if this chair would make things better or worse.

Glen Perkins agreed to play match-maker for me.

• It turns out at least one NBA player is a big fan of "Gleeman and The Geek."

• This is probably the best picture I've ever taken.

• I went to Todd Barry's crowd work-only show at The Cedar last month and loved it, so it was fun to hear him talk about that on "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross.

Hilarious person on Twitter and big-time baseball fan Alison Agosti was a guest on "Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend" with, coincidentally, Alison Rosen.

• Friend of AG.com Lindsay Guentzel is hosting a bowling-and-beer party Saturday night at Park Tavern in St. Louis Park to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "What language does Eddie Rosario speak?"
- "What are Eddie Rosario's accomplishments?"
- "Pizza diet to lose 60 pounds"
- "Brian Dozier trade contract"
- "Stella's blog"
- "Outstanding Minnesota Twins ball players"
- "Joe Nathan's hobbies"
- "Built like a fire hydrant"
- "People staring at phones together"

• Finally, in honor of our MLB/iTunes experience this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Fight The Power" by Public Enemy:


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December 31, 2013

Power Rankings: Top 30 Twin Cities Tweeters Of 2013

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City Pages ran an article by Maggie LaMaack ranking the "Top 20 Twin Cities Twitterers" among non-mainstream media and non-celebrities. She did a very nice job on the piece, which included artsy caricatures of each person and lots of fun quotes, but my Twitter obsession won't let me go on living without posting my own ranking. Mine is slightly different in that I refuse to use the word "Twitterers" and anyone is eligible, but it's the same basic idea. Oh, and I chose 30 instead of 20.


wessel twitter1. @DanaWessel (Dana Wessel from 96.3 K-TWIN)

So funny that it's worth putting up with his soccer fandom. Great taste in roommates.


randball's stu twitter2. @RandBallsStu (Randball's Stu from Twinkie Town)

Writer of the brilliant Uptown dating/Twins bloggers parody. Possibly our best doofus.


hageman twitter3. @ParkerHageman (Parker Hageman from Twins Daily)

Terrible taste in beer. Questionable taste in friends. Excellent baseball analysis.


lamaack twitter4. @MaggieLaMaack (Maggie LaMaack from L'étoile and City Pages)

Writer of the list I'm ripping off. Got a real good Aubrey Plaza vibe going. Too huggy.


rand twitter5. @RandBall (Michael Rand from the Minneapolis Star Tribune)

Weird internet enabler. Editor of Modern Jumpsuit Enthusiast Quarterly. Pug owner.


weisenberger twitter6. @foyobli (Megan Weisenberger from Minneapolis Beards)

Strip club aficionado. Beard curator. Mimosa consumer. Former volleyball superstar.


perkins twitter7. @glen_perkins (Glen Perkins from the Minnesota Twins)

One of the best relievers in baseball. The only Twin Cities athlete I follow on Twitter.


welle twitter8. @LizWelle (Liz Welle from Legends)

Burrito and whiskey lover. Essentially perfect except for being a KFAN/podcast groupie.


ampersandria twitter9. @ampersandria (Alexandria from Airplanes)

One of the funniest people on Twitter. Can really rock a poncho. Mediocre bingo player.


nelson twitter10. @nnelson9 (Nick Nelson from Twins Daily)

Single and looking to mingle. White rapper. Has been kicked out of VFW karaoke.


ugh twitter11. @heidi_ugh (Heidi from Helping Old People)

By far the funniest member of her family. Fell asleep within two minutes of meeting me.


krawczynski twitter12. @APkrawczynski (Jon Krawczynski from the Associated Press)

Hardest-working man in Twin Cities sports media. Really good. Not on "The Office."


white twitter13. @amanduhwhite (Amanda White from City Pages)

"Parenthood" analyst. Blonde-dating snob. Online bully of Aaron Rupar.


guentzel twitter14. @LindsayGuentzel (Lindsay Guentzel from 96.3 K-TWIN)

Stella's regular. Outstanding mid-90s acoustic sing-along partner. Pizza roll bringer.


bonnes twitter

15. @TwinsGeek (John Bonnes from Twins Daily and "Gleeman and The Geek")

I dunno. Whatever.


sauce twitter16. @MeatSauce1 (Paul Lambert from 100.3 KFAN)

Taste worth acquiring. Parking monitor. Troll baiter. Hanukkah cookie eater. Hadouken.


brauer twitter17. @dbrauer (David Brauer from MinnPost)

Knower of all things local media. Multi-time podcast guest. Oldest college student ever.


butler twitter18. @kateMbutler (Kate Butler from 100.3 KFAN)

Wild and Gophers reporter. Producer. Morning show regular. Dook-shoer. Sleepy baby.


miller twitter19. @MillerStrib (Phil Miller from the Minneapolis Star Tribune)

Twins beat reporter. Probably the best Twin Cities baseball writer. Jerry Sloan survivor.


mandy twitter20. @mandyapolis (Mandy Lee from Terrible OK Cupid Messages)

[Borat voice] My wife. [/Borat voice].


wolfson twitter21. @DarrenWolfson (Darren Wolfson from KSTP-TV and 1500-ESPN)

Other hardest-working man in Twin Cities sports media candidate. My former babysitter.


rupar twitter22. @atrupar (Aaron Rupar from City Pages)

Amanda White's online punching bag. Timberwolves sadomasochist. Beardo.


marthaler twitter23. @jmarthaler (Jon Marthaler from "The Sportive")

Ring-leader of the Twin Cities' filthiest podcast. Unrelenting sports fan. Soccer weirdo.


gigi twitter24. @_omgigi_ (Gigi Berry from Wherever Unicorns Are From)

Lover of nugs and beards. Frequently turnt. Goes back and forth regarding my worth.


than twitter25. @thanland (Than Tibbetts from Public Insight Network)

Keeps this blog running. The only person I met in journalism school and didn't hate.


mitich twitter26. @JohnnaMitich (Johnna Mitich from The Best Advice I Ever Got)

Filled in as "Gleeman and The Geek" producer once before I realized she was so funny.


gibson twitter27. @actuallyerin (Erin Gibson from Hip Hop BBQ Radio)

Mid-90s rap connoisseur. Claims to like brunch. Irish whiskey drinker. Soccer weirdo.


matteson twitter28. @solace (Kyle Matteson from Every Concert Ever)

Fastest favorite draw in the Upper Midwest. Music fiend. Brunch paparazzi. Beardo.


bollinger twitter29. @RhettBollinger (Rhett Bollinger from MLB.com)

Twins beat writer. Lane Kiffin superfan. Mediocre bowling alley trivia player.


gellner twitter30. @MarneyGellner (Marney Gellner from FOX Sports North)

My mom's favorite person. Upon meeting me, said: "You're not as weird as I expected."


If you read this whole thing and still won't follow @AaronGleeman on Twitter you're a monster.

December 27, 2013

Link-O-Rama

• I spent way too much time and energy putting together a list of my favorite songs of 2013.

Kanye West is totally wrong about Jews. We actually have both.

• Slow-motion video of NaVorro Bowman's game-clinching interception Monday night is great for countless reasons, but my favorite part is the sideline reactions as he passes each person.

• During the offseason Twins stud pitching prospect Alex Meyer makes $63 dollars per day as a substitute teacher in Indiana.

• My beloved Mase put out his first new song in a decade and I'm sad to say it's sort of terrible.

Sam Miller of Baseball Prospectus re-wrote "Forgot About Dre" with baseball player names.

• Facebook is just being a dick now.

• The Onion on the Vikings' quarterback situation.

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode was recorded at Summit Brewing Company in St. Paul and we broke down the Mike Pelfrey, Ryan Doumit, and Kurt Suzuki moves in a lot of detail before talking about taking Danny Valencia on a first date.

• Speaking of which, podcast groupies are the worst.

Lizzy Caplan was as delightful as you'd expect chatting with Paul F. Tompkins:

What a woman.

• My favorite e-mail ever.

• I bought myself this shirt as a Christmas present and am honestly worried it might be too sexy.

• Why did the Twins get rid of Doumit and replace him with Suzuki? I'm glad you asked.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com Lindsay Guentzel for landing her own show on K-TWIN 96.3 and for joining me in the insomnia zone. The only downside is that Stella's may go out of business.

• I'm on Twitter mostly for conversations like this one.

• There's still some time to think of more, but for now my New Year's resolutions are a) move out of the suburbs and into the city, and b) ditch my BlackBerry for something that doesn't "indicate a gravitas and devotion to work."

• There's an app that turns a phone into a breathalyzer, but sadly it's not available on BlackBerry.

Ann Friedman is such a f***ing killer: "Douthat, despite having the morals and the facial hair of a much older man, is only 34."

• As part of this multi-year, multi-platform agreement my Honda Fit will be featured.

• How did I not think of this first?

• Congrats to Neil Paine for his new gig with Nate Silver at FiveThirtyEight. Not only is Paine one of the smartest basketball minds around, he was the only person in the car to recognize my John Mayer reference when we drove past Peachtree Street in Atlanta a few years ago.

• Old friend Denny Hocking was hired by the Dodgers as their new Single-A manager.

• For her latest video my future wife, Possum Plows, covered one of my favorite songs of 2013:

I ranked the original 11th on my list, but the blue hair alone moves this version into the top 10.

• My hero Tom Scharpling ended his 13-year run steamrolling chumps on "The Best Show on WFMU." Luckily there's always his billion-show archive to remember the comedic genius.

Randball's Stu's latest for Twinkie Town is particularly brilliant if you're a "Best Show" fan.

• Oh how I've missed you, Zoe Barnes.

• For anyone who listened to last week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode from HammerHeart Brewing in Lino Lakes, here's what I looked like after drinking all 12 of their beer varieties.

• One of the restaurants I ate (and drank) at in Philadelphia this summer, Farmers' Cabinet, was raided by police for serving booze without a liquor license.

• Friends of AG.com Michael Rand and Jon Marthaler made a Mike Pelfrey-related wager and naturally I officiated.

• This is just a good picture of Snoop Dogg drinking a mimosa with his pinkie finger out and a shower cap on his head. Nothing more, nothing less.

• I really enjoyed Todd Glass' appearance on "Crab Feast" with Jay Larson and Ryan Sickler.

• If you don't mind getting depressed, the documentary "Burn" about the Detroit fire department is one of the best movies I've seen on Netflix in a while.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Aaron Gleeman divorced"
- "How do you make money from a blog?"
- "Who is Connie Britton's porn star lookalike?"
- "The Human Fund"
- "I'm taking the day off"
- "Tom Brunanski batting stance"
- "Driving in winter in Minnesota"
- "Ron Coomer net worth"
- "Who is John Sharkman?"
- "John Bonnes arrest"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Can't Get Enough" by J. Cole:

November 23, 2012

Link-O-Rama

Headline of the week/weak: "Two drivers arrested for drunken driving in same car."

• Considering everyone involved, this has to be the best-looking fight of all time.

Elisha Cuthbert heard the Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com title might be up for grabs again and wants to apply for a second term.

• If you liked last week's Link-O-Rama music video, "Nothin' But A G Thang," you'll love this oral history of "The Chronic" as the album nears its 20th anniversary.

Kevin Pelton of Basketball Prospectus crunched the numbers from Jack Taylor's record-breaking 138-point game for Grinnell and the sabermetric-style analysis is fun.

Hannibal Buress is at Acme Comedy Company in Minneapolis tonight and tomorrow night. I'll be there for the late show Saturday and if you like stand-up comedy you should go too.

• I'd make Guillermo a -340 favorite.

• If the Twins go looking for free agent pitching in the bargain bin, what will they find?

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode was recorded at my house while we were being filmed for a documentary and then afterward I forced John Bonnes to drink Scotch.

• LSU coach Les Miles had an amazing start to his postgame press conference after a comeback win against Mississippi:

There isn't an actor alive who can display that range of emotion in the span of two minutes.

• In case you thought you had a rough week, Robert Andino got traded by the Orioles to make room for Alexi Casilla.

• Just a really important conversation about an extremely serious topic between two adults.

• Two of the greats, Chelsea Peretti and Bill Burr, teamed up for what might be my favorite podcast episode of all time.

Chris Brown of Grantland wrote a really interesting article about Chip Kelly's frantic offense, although naturally Oregon lost while scoring just 14 points Saturday.

• "Extreme Makeover: Bud Selig Edition" is a show I'd watch.

Casey Affleck is directing a movie about Josh Hamilton.

• Whatever this is, I had the opposite.

• I've enjoyed listening to David Cone announce Yankees games on YES Network and the former Cy Young winner is very much into sabermetrics.

• I'd make a joke about the 25-year history of cellphones, but I still have a Blackberry.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com and two-time "Gleeman and The Geek" guest Lindsay Guentzel for her new gig with the Minnesota Swarm.

Jimmy Kimmel's chat with Chris Hardwick on the "Nerdist" podcast was really enjoyable.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Rob Dibble ex-wife"
- "Phil Ivey fat?"
- "Happy Festivus certificate"
- "Will the Twins sign someone already?"
- "Pictures of Otis Redding's funeral"
- "How to include beer into weight loss"
- "Gundars Vetra photo"
- "Aubrey Plaza face shape"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is The Fugees covering "No Woman No Cry" by Bob Marley:

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