February 21, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Back in my day babies played much better man-to-man defense.

• If you want to sell a shitload of girl scout cookies just set up a table in front of a pot dispensary.

• I took notes while reading Molly Fitzpatrick's guide to making out in bars.

• Oh nothing, just someone eating four Chipotle burritos in three minutes without exploding.

• At some point very soon I'm going to be the last single person not on Tinder.

• Multiple studies show that Minnesota men are really bad at sex.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode John Bonnes scolded me for not kissing girls quickly enough, we sang the praises of Rye Deli, and celebrated pitchers and catchers reporting.

Pitbull and Kesha isn't really a combination that interests me, but a doo-wop cover of Pitbull and Kesha is right up my alley:

(Note: I refuse to use a dollar sign for Mase's name, so I'm damn sure not using it for Kesha.)

CC Sabathia is legitimately skinny now, which means he also probably misses Chinese food.

Maggie LaMaack's media blitz continues with another City Pages cover story, this one about 50 things to do in the Twin Cities before you die. I've done 12 of them and will likely die very soon.

• LaMaack also took time out of her cover story-writing schedule to interview one of my top 30 local tweeters, the ever-hilarious Ampersandria.

• At least we'll be able to continue doing the podcast even if one of us gets arrested.

Mike Redmond took a big step in his second year as manager, allowing the Marlins to grow beards after Ricky Nolasco broke all the rules last season.

The Onion: "Tips for pulling an all-nighter."

• Bodies are the worst. Mark Mulder was making a comeback after not pitching since 2008 ... and ruptured his Achilles' tendon on Day 1.

• During his amazing show at First Avenue last week Jason Isbell told us about an incident in the audience the previous night and, the internet being the internet, someone caught it on video:

Wisconsin, man.

• This interview is decent, but the larger point is that there's a human being who looks like this.

• My first ever experience working from a coffee shop was captured by intrepid photojournalist and internet creeper Megan Weisenberger.

• I'm definitely not the type of person who feels at home working from a coffee shop, for several different reasons, but Spyhouse Coffee in Uptown was a perfectly lovely venue.

• Old friend Matt Capps is having shoulder problems for the second straight season.

• Brunch spot recommendation: Meritage in St. Paul. Expensive, but well worth it.

• I used Local Motion to move me from Minnetonka to Uptown and couldn't have been happier with the whole experience. Professional, friendly, and efficient.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Parker Hageman second chance"
- "Kat Dennings porn lookalike"
- "Robin Wright porn lookalike"
- "Chelsea Peretti porn lookalike"
- "1982 Minnesota Twins roster"
- "Elisha Cuthbert podcast"
- "Aaron Gleeman top tweeters"
- "Who is John Sharkman?"
- "No cake, no pizza, no Chinese food"
- "How much does a Twins player get paid?"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Can't Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West:

February 14, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• I loved Jason Isbell's concert at First Avenue last weekend and Chris Riemenschneider of the Minneapolis Star Tribune did a great job capturing the overall vibe in his review.

• My jobs have forced me to be involved in hundreds of mock drafts over the years, so the idea of someone intentionally ruining them is absolutely hilarious to me.

Headline of the week: "Minnesota woman accused of stealing camo lingerie from Fleet Farm."

Paul "Meatsauce" Lambert from KFAN and Falen Bonsett from KDWB told the story/stories of how they fell in love and it's basically the sweetest thing ever.

• As a child of divorce I'm not capable of handling my two favorites, Ma$e and J. Cole, beefing.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we broke down all of the Twins' spring training position battles, including Miguel Sano, and then John Bonnes mocked me for a bunch of stuff.

• I didn't win the Vita.mn "crush contest" and neither did my personal crush Ampersandria, but Jana Shortal is a worthy champion for whom I was proud to buy Rumple Minze shots.

• This was the official write-up/photo they chose for my candidacy:

crush contest

Tough to figure out why I didn't win, obviously.

• My mom finally met Paul Allen and now she has a crush on him.

• Athletes in the Olympic Village are using Tinder, which sounds like the premise of a porn movie.

• I do a similar thing to Kate Hansen's routine to prepare for blogging each morning.

• If you've ever wondered what it would sound like if I hastily left a bar around 11:00 p.m. to be interviewed about the Twins on Baseball Prospectus' podcast, this is your lucky day!

• I also joined the degenerates on "The Sportive" for a profanity-filled podcast about silliness.

Jay Z and Beyonce win the synchronized shade-throwing gold medal.

• Speaking of which: Surfbort.

• I'd probably need to be married for a decade before sharing my Netflix password with someone.

• I guess Kate Mara is decent looking if you're into that type of thing.

The Onion: "Coworkers Currently Gchatting About You."

• Superheroes have never done much for me and I've always wondered how so many guys got so obsessed with them. This video might answer that question:

As a little kid I had that same reaction the first time I saw Jarvis Brown pinch-run for the Twins.

• Reds closer Aroldis Chapman seems like a lot of fun:

Finally, a few minutes before 4 p.m., the curtains lift and Chapman descends the spiral staircase to the pool deck. He wears sandals, sunglasses and a tank top obscured by heavy gold chains. He lights a Marlboro Red cigarette and flops down onto an all-weather mattress near the pool.

"Why so late like this?" Maria Caridad asks. "Why all this sleeping?"

"There's nothing else to do," he says.

I'm another 40 miles per hour on my fastball away from being Chapman, basically.

• On a related note, we'll be joining forces to fight against this ridiculousness.

• Remember that incredibly embarrassing video of Twins Daily blogger Parker Hageman of a TLC reality show from 10 years ago? Well, he tried to explain himself (and his robe).

• Here's a glimpse into what it looks like when I'm straight up balling at Stella's.

• Netflix recommendation: "Strongman" is one of the most brutally honest, sweet, and ultimately depressing documentaries I've ever seen.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "TLC Second Chance"
- "Best soccer cover for tweeter"
- "Maria Bello porn lookalike"
- "Tila Tequila high school"
- "Bearded Minnesota Twins"
- "Aaron Gl"
- "Aaaron Gleeman"
- "Aaron Gleman"
- "Aaron Gleamon"
- "Aaron Gleemam"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Cover Me Up" by Isbell:

February 7, 2014

Link-O-Rama

Jerry Seinfeld and Howard Stern bickering like Jewish grandmothers is what my entire life has been building to until now.

• Pawn America is selling an unnamed person's 1987 World Series ring, which makes me sad.

• A lot of people say to me "I wish I could hear you on more podcasts talking about more bullshit topics while drinking more whiskey." Well, guess what people who don't actually exist? It's your lucky day! I was a guest on "The Sportive" podcast and it was a train wreck. (In a good way.)

• I really enjoyed and mostly agreed with Luke O'Neil's article about what choosing to favorite something on Twitter actually signifies.

Kara Nesvig of Vita.mn told the compelling, much-needed story of Minnesota's true heroes.

• Even after finding a new place to live I'm still addicted to looking at new apartment listings on Craigslist and some of them are absolutely amazing.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we debated Ricky Nolasco vs. Matt Garza, dreamed about Byron Buxton, and discussed swapping wives. It was a weird one.

• Years ago I was told that a decade-old video existed of Twins Daily blogger Parker Hageman appearing on a TLC reality show called "Second Chance." Ever since then I've been trying to talk him and various members of his family into posting that video online and now, just days before his wedding to the woman who appeared alongside him on the reality show, my prayers have finally been answered. Enjoy:

I kind of want to break the whole thing down frame-by-frame, like the Zapruder film.

Derek Jeter lives a rough life sometimes.

This news has me thinking about canceling my annual State Fair on-air radio date.

• Netflix has a new show coming out in which Coach Taylor and Lindsay Weir play brother and sister, so I'm basically a television producer now.

• I smiled a lot looking through the pictures from Howard Stern's birthday party.

Dana Wessel is apparently spreading the Heggies pizza gospel via the super-believable pen name "Ryan Burk" now.

• Fat quarterback Jared Lorenzen is now fatter and even more quarterbacky.

• "His submission was deemed 'weirder than balls' so they had Gleeman write it up instead. Here is the rejected preview."

• My HardballTalk blog-mate Matthew Pouliot did projections for all 30 starting rotations and ranks the Twins second-to-last despite all their offseason spending.

• Why am I moving? Another day, another police chase in my neck of the suburban woods.

• The Onion: "Report: Girlfriend's parents could hear everything."

• I want nothing more than to simply walk into this classroom and yell "Rihanna is better!" And then run, obviously.

• On the other hand, Possum Plows' latest video finally makes me appreciate what some of the Beyonce fuss is all about:

Related note: We may soon have a new "Gleeman and The Geek" theme song. Stay tuned.

• I screwed up and waited too long to buy Lake Street Dive tickets for The Cedar next month. Anyone have a hookup? I'd gladly pay full price for a pair of tickets.

Keith Law's "Top Chef" recaps were must-reads all season and his finale analysis was spot on.

• Me too, man. Me too. "Penguins are so fed up with the miserable winter weather they are being given antidepressants."

• Season 2 hasn't started yet, but Netflix already renewed "House Of Cards" for Season 3 and production begins soon.

John Mulaney explaining Jewish women always makes me laugh.

• "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Graham Clark and Dave Shumka is consistently my favorite podcast and Nicole Passmore was a particularly entertaining guest.

• "Broad City" is a great show that everyone should be watching.

• Brunch spot recommendation: Victor's 1959 Cafe, a tiny, quirky place with good Cuban food and interesting mimosas.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Woman ate 350 chicken wings"
- "Image of get-together"
- "Bobby Bland baseball"
- "What's wrong with my elliptical machine?"
- "Chads and Brads"
- "General Bill Smith"
- "Pizza Hut five-pound deal"
- "Aaron Gleeman moving"
- "Aaron Gleeman in Uptown"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is John Newman singing a live version of "Love Me Again":

January 31, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• I was chosen as/rigged the voting to be a finalist for Vita.mn's "crush contest" and got invited to a photo shoot/party Wednesday night, so now there are more pictures of me on the internet. This one is my favorite because it perfectly shows the effect I have on women:

crush party

There's a lot more where that came from.

Jon Bois' season-ending edition of "Breaking Madden" is pure genius.

• Someone mapped out the location of every place mentioned in Tom Waits songs.

• I was an in-studio guest on KFAN for the first time in a couple months and Paul Allen basically staged an intervention. Depending on your point of view, it was radio gold or a train wreck.

The Onion is giving me some good ideas: "New Dating Website Helps Plus-Size Jewish Plane Crash Survivors Find Love."

• I thought about moving into one of the new "luxury apartments" in Uptown, but for better or worse various friends talked me out of becoming that type of person.

• I have a couple openings in my "Hardball Dynasty" league on WhatIfSports and the new season begins next week. If you're interested in joining, please read this first.

• This is just a great picture of Sid Hartman and Glen Perkins.

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode was recorded live in front of a 300-person crowd at Twins Daily's inaugural "Winter Meltdown" event, with special guests Twins president Dave St. Peter, my mom's favorite handsome athlete Scott Erickson, and Miguel Sano documentary filmmaker Jon Paley. I love the look on St. Peter's face as I ask him some dumb question:

st. peter meltdown panel

Me posing with Erickson is pretty good too.

• As a huge DMX fan and a frequent party bus passenger, this was amazing.

• Good collection of the Twin Cities' best late-night breakfast spots, including some of my favorites like Rye Deli and Hell's Kitchen.

Anna Kendrick is the best.

Elijah Aaron's cover of "No Scrubs" is as entertaining as the song could be without Chilli.

• Whole lotta Minnesotans flying to Colorado to get their legal pot on, but the true pros drive.

• As the world's biggest J. Cole fan his birthday gift from Jay Z made me smile.

Chipper Jones is a superhero.

• My idol Rob Neyer is leaving SB Nation for FOXSports.com.

Craig Calcaterra let his 10-year-old daughter write a guest post for HardballTalk.

• For the same money, would the Twins have been better off with Matt Garza or Ricky Nolasco?

• My favorite scene in television history:

Susie Greene is a saint.

• I wrote the Twins essay in this year's "Baseball Prospectus" book, which is now available.

• I'm glad the Twins finally put Chuck Knoblauch in the team Hall of Fame. He's one of the 10 best players in Twins history.

"Metrodome Lashes Out at Twins in Final Interview."

• Old friend Scott Baker signed with the Mariners.

Tina Fey was delightful on "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" with Jerry Seinfeld.

• I don't even like this song, but Kendrick Lamar screaming "tater tots!" is my new ringtone.

John Mulaney's stand-up special "New In Town" is one of the best hours of comedy I've ever seen and now it's on Netflix.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Dick Bremer net worth"
- "How much does Louis C.K. weigh?"
- "St. Louis fried rice"
- "How long can you survive without food?"
- "Aaron Gleeman height"
- "Geraldo Rivera vs. Frank Stallone"
- "Robin Thicke socks"
- "Sid Hartman old"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Bad Self Portraits" by Lake Street Dive:

January 24, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Saturday night's Twins Daily event is almost sold out again even after jamming in some more tickets, but we're hoping to record the panel discussions for a podcast that everyone can listen to later and you can submit questions for Twins president Dave St. Peter and my mom's all-time favorite player Scott Erickson.

• Grantland's oral history of "Swingers" is really good and nicely presented too.

• I never knew goats fainting was an actual thing, but now it's all I can think about.

• If you're like me and think the law banning the sale of alcohol on Sundays is outdated, absurd, and annoying you'll want to sign this petition. It's the only political cause I've ever cared about.

• Having an essay in the new "Baseball Prospectus" book is one of the great thrills of my life and 18-year-old me would be giddy. It's ready for pre-order, with February 11 as the shipping date.

Mike Axisa of CBSSports.com put together an all-time single-season Twins team, although including the Senators kind of ruins it for me.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode John Bonnes couldn't stop laughing at me for being a human man who may or may not have attended a kite festival.

• I watched all 14 minutes of "pissed off goalies" and would have gladly watched another 14:

Patrick Roy seems like a maniac.

• This is my personal brand now.

• Three months ago police killed a guy in my neighborhood and now there was a SWAT team standoff, which is why I'm moving to Uptown for some peace and quiet.

• It wasn't really my style, but if you're looking for an apartment in Uptown that's spacious and charming with a really nice landlord go check out this place.

• If the Uptown move doesn't work out I'm thinking of just buying the house from "Roseanne."

• President Carter, Young Money Democrat.

• I'd kind of like to make a mockery of the Star Tribune's "crush contest," so go vote for me.

UPDATE: Mission accomplished, I guess.

Ricky Rubio was the cutest, again.

• Friend of AG.com Maggie LaMaack's unstoppable, take-no-prisoners media blitz continues, including this gem: "LaMaack, meanwhile, has shattered her iPhone again."

• If you don't know a woman who would wear these you're doing something wrong with your life.

• Sunday night I watched a grown man I consider a friend do this and I'll forever be thankful that we caught it on video:

If you're curious, he called that "super-manning" the beer pong table.

• This is what it looks like when I dress up and pretend to like soccer in the name of friendship and morning drinking. And I apparently saw something incredible happen.

Possum Plows' latest is a Frank Ocean duet cover, which as you might expect is directly in my wheelhouse.

Phil Mackey is Judd Zulgad's new co-host on 1500-ESPN, replacing Jeff Dubay and leaving Patrick Reusse on his own in the afternoons.

• I loved Morgan Murphy's new stand-up comedy special on Netflix.

Hannibal Buress is coming to the Varsity Theater next month. I saw him at Acme Comedy Company last year and he was fantastic.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Consistently good podcasts"
- "Was Denard Span once called the next Kirby Puckett?"
- "Former friends catching up"
- "Are people nicer now that you've lost weight?"
- "Marc Maron hair transplant"
- "Lizzy Caplan facial hair"
- "Did Joe Mauer switch teams?"
- "Why do men have beards?"
- "Aaron Gleeman at Stella's in Uptown"
- "Traveling to New Zealand"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Born Sinner" by J. Cole:

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