November 14, 2014


• Longtime Purdue basketball coach Gene Keady finally got rid of his infamous/hideous combover in the name of love and saving $600 per week.

• Craziest story of the week: Robert Swift, former NBA first-round draft pick, is now "a heavily armed heroin addict" who was arrested with "a military-style grenade launcher."

• Sad headline (and pictures) of the week: "Mase performed to a crowd of less than 50 people."

• Accurate review: "Buffalo Wild Wings seems a little too proud of their food and beverages."

• I sometimes worry my life is being wasted arguing about Joe Mauer with people on Twitter, but Curt Schilling angrily arguing against evolution with people on Twitter puts it all in perspective.

• If the Twins have one obvious lineup hole for 2015 it's in the outfield, so which free agent should they sign?

This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode was recorded over beer and bourbon at Town Hall Brewery and we talked about Paul Molitor officially being hired and whether any real changes will be made.

• "Backseat Freestyle" by Kendrick Lamar was my favorite song of 2013--there's an official list and everything--but it loses a little something when mashed up with Taylor Swift:

Big week for people with the last name Swift, really.

Jeff Sullivan of Fan Graphs had an interesting look at why the fastest man in baseball, Reds center fielder Billy Hamilton, didn't steal a ridiculous number of bases as a rookie.

• Good to know I'll always have a fallback plan in case America runs out of white Adidas.

• Studies show that hosting national sporting events is overrated economically, so not surprisingly Minnesota hosting the All-Star game didn't make as much money as everyone expected.

• I was 11 years old and Aaliyah obsessed in 1994, so Shea Serrano's tribute to that year's R&B music is perfection on Grantland.

Byron Buxton got a bunch of tattoos, while wearing a cast on his broken finger.

• At least Ricky Rubio got to make one classic Rubio face before getting injured.

• The always underrated Maura Tierney talking about her many good TV roles is a good read.

Hannibal Buress is funny doing almost anything, including half-hearted restaurant reviews:

My favorite part is when he says "whatever, she won't see this anyway." Yeah, right.

• Running a young catcher into the ground usually has consequences, which is worth remembering when Salvador Perez is worn down next season.

• Reminder: The actor who played Luke on "Gilmore Girls" was the Braves' first-round draft pick in 1980 and was later traded to the Yankees for Bob Watson. Oh, and he was also Elaine Benes' sponge-worthy boyfriend on "Seinfeld."

"24 Hours In Fargo" by friend of Liz Welle is a cool tribute, with lots of good pictures and other fun stuff.

• As someone who grew up listening to "Loveline" and is now obsessed with podcasts, Dr. Drew chatting with Marc Maron is perfect.

• "Seven" is my favorite movie of all time and now it's on Netflix.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Does Gordon Ramsay wear boxers or briefs?"
- "Was Tom Kelly a good baseball manager?"
- "Benjy Bronk orgasm"
- "Destini Molitor photo"
- "How much does Terry Ryan get paid?"
- "Paul Molitor financial information"
- "What does debut mean in baseball?"
- "Podcasts recorded at bars"

• Finally, this week's music video is "Are You That Somebody" by Aaliyah:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

October 31, 2014


Shea Serrano at Grantland paid tribute to my beloved Mase and it's basically perfect.

• Rapid City, South Dakota native Becky Hammon is now the first female full-time coach in NBA history and Howard Beck wrote an excellent article about her life.

• Pitches of 97 miles per hour or faster this season: Royals 2,287, Twins 1.

Joe Maddon, who reportedly never even talked to the Twins, is set to become Cubs manager.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we discussed all the reasons why there was never any chance of Maddon coming to the Twins and learned valuable lessons about parenting.

Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman asked WCCO news anchor Jason DeRusha to personalize the "Four Things You Need To Know" segment for him. And so DeRusha did, hilariously:

"Sure, a real man who lives in the St. Cloud area would change his own oil."

• Too little, too late. I've moved on, BlackBerry. And everyone else has, too.

• Well, except for Kim Kardashian apparently.

Torii Hunter cemented his status as baseball's most beloved homophobe.

• As a big fan of "would you rather?" this Katie Notopoulos survey amused me greatly.

• Sometimes when you "deep Google" someone there's no turning back.

• In honor of Timberwolves season starting, here's a picture of 13-year-old me wearing a blunt hat and posing with rookie-year Stephon Marbury.

• Timberwolves coach Flip Saunders has tweeted only three times in the past eight months and they're all amazing.

• If someone claims Alex Gordon would have scored from third base to tie Game 7 of the World Series, please show them this:

Would have been a helluva way for the season to end, though.

Parker Hageman and Dan Anderson of the "No Juice" podcast had Twins president Dave St. Peter as their guest this week.

• City Pages had big shoes to fill, but they found a good blogging replacement for Aaron Rupar in Ben Johnson, who once did a nice job writing this about me for the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

• There's a new restaurant coming to Lake Street called Prairie Dogs, which will have hot dogs, "handcrafted" sausages, and local beer. I suspect I may be there a lot.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Nick Blackburn was a top prospect"
- "Scott Erickson and Inga Hammond"
- "Is Sid Hartman Jewish?"
- "Lonnie Smith running over catcher"
- "What is throwing shade?"
- "Jon Taffer hair plugs"
- "Ben Revere bulge"

• Finally, in honor of seeing him perform live at Target Center during halftime of the Wolves' home opener Thursday, this week's music video is "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice:

This week's content is sponsored by Harry's Razors. Go to and enter in the promo code "Gleeman" to receive $5 off your first order.

October 24, 2014


• Last year I went to Legend's to have drinks and watch the Vikings vs. Giants on Monday Night Football with some friends, in part because it was Josh Freeman's debut. That game proved to be one of the worst I've ever seen, Freeman never started again for the Vikings, and the whole experience was really weird. So luckily Michael Rand of the Minneapolis Star Tribune decided to reunite the group on the one-year anniversary for an oral history of the evening. Seriously.

• I was on the fence about going to the Wolves home opener next week, but booking Vanilla Ice as the halftime show convinced me to go.

• Sure, this story about online dating is funny and sad, but more importantly who is actually "the most-published person on the planet"?

• On a related note, Santa Claus really misrepresents the ease with which chimneys serve as entrances to homes. Or seventh dates.

• The world is truly an amazing place sometimes, especially when it comes to bathroom habits.

• Speaking of which, I may never stop shaking my head about this revelation.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked about the Twins' lack of spending and analyzed a lengthy Terry Ryan interview, which got me pretty frustrated. And then in the interest of fairness, we spliced in the actual Ryan audio so listeners can judge for themselves.

• You need to watch this video of Tubby Smith riding a motorcycle into "Midnight Madness" at Texas Tech while the theme from "Shaft" plays. Trust me:

Side note: Smith is 63 years old.

Fair enough, but they're also cute and often owned by pretty women.

Kevin Love wants to play on a good team. For nearly his entire time in Minnesota the Wolves were a) not good and b) poorly run. Seems simple enough.

Charlie Warzel tracked down the person allegedly responsible for celebrities' personal photos being stolen and released publicly, and the resulting article was fascinating, weird, and sad.

Julian Casablancas just learned a very important lesson: Don't mess with brunchers.

• I'm sure this will go over as poorly as people in Minnesota who dare talk about Kirby Puckett's off-field allegations, but good on Hannibal Buress for speaking up about Bill Cosby.

• As a Gchat power user I encourage everyone to use it all the time, especially at work.

• I know several of these women, somehow.

• Will declining Jared Burton's option be the first step in the Twins overhauling their bullpen?

• "Top Chef" is back, which means Keith Law's great "Top Chef" episode recaps are back.

• Congrats to Aaron Rupar for his new gig with FOX-9. He leaves behind some very big shoes to fill at City Pages, where his blog was a Link-O-Rama staple thanks to the combination of reporting and silliness.

• I highly recommend checking out the brand new LynLake Brewery, which has a spacious main level with a huge projection television and also a nice rooftop patio. We interviewed the manager and owner while recording this week's podcast episode there and I took some pictures.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "What is Ron Gardenhire going to do next?"
- "Nice write-up on a high school pitcher"
- "Patrick Reusse marriage"
- "Kirby Puckett on-deck circle pictures"
- "Joe Mauer trade candidates"
- "Who is Jewish and who isn't"

• Finally, in honor of the Freeman anniversary this week's music video is "I'm Not The Only One" by Sam Smith:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

October 17, 2014


• Approximately one million people sent me the New York Times' "brunch is for jerks" article, but here's the thing: Combining breakfast food and booze is undeniably great. End of story.

• UFC announcer Mike Goldberg did play-by-play for the Vikings-Lions game and it was a mess, with botched names and confused calls throughout. Afterward he cursed out people on Twitter who were criticizing his performance, at which point FOX removed him from their NFL schedule.

• If this is true about Kate Mara ... well, then I quit.

• How much payroll space do the Twins have and, more importantly, will they actually spend it?

Martha Stewart vs. Gwyneth Paltrow is this generation's Notorious B.I.G. vs. Tupac.

• Congrats to friend of Dana Wessel for winning "Mrs. Arkansas International, 2014."

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we drank beer at 612 Brew and revisited our preseason predictions to see just how terrible they were.

• We also had Twins beat reporter Mike Berardino of the St. Paul Pioneer Press as our guest on "Gleeman and The Geek" two episodes ago and lots of listeners enjoyed it more than usual.

• Imagine if someone from England looked just like Aaron Rodgers and hung around Green Bay:

Tom Wrigglesworth is a quality name, too.

• I "took issue" with something a local newspaper columnist wrote about Joe Mauer and brain injuries, leading to City Pages' amusing recap and this brilliant "Douse Mauer in Gasoline and Chase Him with Matches" parody by Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman.

• Speaking of which, one year ago Neuman wrote my favorite parody ever, including this opening line: "As night-life emissaries go, one could do better than Aaron Gleeman."

Maggie "Boss Lady Yung Mags" LaMaack is one of the most underrated writers in Minnesota, this time on the subject of using Tinder to date.

• The local chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America gave Ron Gardenhire their "media good guy" award on his way out.

Andrew Friedman left the $50 million payrolls in Tampa Bay for the $250 million payrolls in Los Angeles and sent a goodbye letter to a Rays blog.

• I went to a high school journalism conference when the Final Four was here in 2001 and Bob Ryan's storytelling mesmerized me, so I enjoyed Grantland's profile of the Boston sportswriter.

• Believe it or not the Twins had many valuable players this season and I ranked them on my hypothetical team MVP ballot.

• Two all-time greats, Bill Murray and Howard Stern, had a nice long chat and it was very fun.

• You may not think so, but you'll definitely want to watch a little kid recreate Patrick Swayze's dance moves from the final scene of "Dirty Dancing":

I can do the same thing, except with Elaine Benes' dance moves in "Seinfeld."

Dax Shepard is one of the most underrated actors/funny people around and he was predictably funny/charming chatting with Marc Maron.

• I spent a week reading "Gone Girl" and wherever I put it down--on the bed, on the floor, on random places around the house--she immediately slept on it.

• On a related note, my power rankings of David Fincher movies:

1. "Seven"
2. "Fight Club"
3. "The Social Network"
4. "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button"
5. "The Game"
6. "Gone Girl"
7. "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"
8. "Panic Room"
9. "Zodiac"
10. "Alien 3"

I apologize in advance for not liking "Zodiac" more. I realize that will bother many people.

J.J. Hardy, whom the Twins basically gave away to the Orioles in 2011, signed a three-year, $40 million contract extension to remain in Baltimore.

• Thrilled that Tom Scharpling is bringing back "The Best Show" after reconsidering retirement.

• I agree with Rick Nelson's review in the Minneapolis Star Tribune: Libertine has quickly become one of my favorite restaurants for dinner and brunch.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Man who couldn't stop laughing at his own twin"
- "Sweet Martha's Cookies revenue"
- "Sylvester Stallone young beard"
- "What will happen to Rick Anderson?"
- "Jerome Felton's girlfriend"
- "What was Aaron Burr's sidekick's name?"
- "Jon Taffer pumpkin carving stencil"
- "Naked twins"

• Finally, this week's music video is "Take Me To Church" by Hozier:

September 26, 2014


• Yankees announcer Michael Kay gave me a little shoutout on YES Network during Derek Jeter's final home game Thursday night:

And during the same game, on the Orioles' broadcast, they quoted me about J.J. Hardy's value.

• In terms of trolling for truth, "Jay Z was better than Beyonce is" might be even more effective than Keith Olbermann's anti-Jeter tirade.

• Wednesday's rain delay meant Phil Hughes finished one out short of reaching 210 innings for the season to receive a $500,000 bonus. After initially saying they wouldn't the Twins later offered him a chance to pitch in relief during Sunday's season finale ... and Hughes turned it down. Still, considering he set the all-time strikeout-to-walk ratio record in a season worth several times his salary and the rain delay is the only reason he didn't reach the bonus perhaps the Twins should donate the money to charity in his name or something?

Darko Milicic is done with playing basketball and is now a kickboxer. Seriously.

• For combining simplicity and effectiveness you're not going to find a better opening sentence: "Dale Decker is a man who says he orgasms in his pants over 100 times per day."

• Legalizing marijuana in Minnesota could raise enough revenue in one year to pay off Ricky Nolasco's entire contract. And everyone would be less stressed out watching his starts, too.

Lauryn Hill at her peak was an inner-circle Hall of Fame talent, but this is why I couldn't talk myself into paying $65 per ticket to see her at First Avenue earlier this year.

• I tore my ACL walking from CC Club to VFW two minutes after turning down a ride and one minute after mocking someone for slipping on ice, but this is arguably an even dumber way.

• Oh god. Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal has an article about John Bonnes and he looks all annoyingly super happy in the photo.

• Friends of and "No Juice Podcast" co-hosts Dan Anderson and Parker Hageman tried to show what it's like to pitch-frame a 100-mph fastball. It did not go well:

"You're gonna be on the whacking DL for a while" is a great line. (Also: They couldn't hit it either.)

• Read this Ben Lindbergh article about the Pirates' extensive use of sabermetrics and tell me the Twins aren't at a basic, fundamental disadvantage.

• Who will the Twins purge from the 40-man roster? Almost half of the players are droppable.

• My big takeaway from Mitch Williams' lawsuit is that MLB Network was paying him $2 million.

Benjy Bronk from Howard Stern's show is the guy who got tossed from Roger Goodell's press conference, which should not surprise any longtime Stern fans.

• My blog-mate Craig Calcaterra is one of 24 writers selected for Amtrak's residency program.

Andrew Baggarly is one of the best, most experienced baseball reporters around, but the San Francisco Giants are boycotting him for reporting something no one seems to deny happened.

• In addition to being dashingly handsome to the point of intimidation, Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman tells a really good story.

• It turns out the new iPhones could be big news for schlubby guys.

• Chicago deep-dish pizza chain restaurant Giordano's is coming to Uptown, just a few doors down from Green Mill.

• Restaurant recommendation: The Bad Waitress has become one of my go-to spots. It's great for my fellow breakfast-for-dinner lovers and it's on Bite Squad.

• I still need two more owners for my "Hardball Dynasty" league on WhatIfSports. Details here.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Happy dirty thirty"
- "Ron Gardenhire contract"
- "How much does Joe Nathan make per game?"
- "Who did the Nationals trade for Wilson Ramos?"
- "Marney Gellner rain delay dance"
- "Bill Smith on Seinfeld"
- "Is Justin Morneau French?"

• Finally, in honor of Jeter's retirement this week's music video is "The Captain" by Kasey Chambers:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

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