AaronGleeman.com

• Sad news about Johan Santana, who's probably my favorite Twin of all time and was such a huge part of this blog, beginning with the "Free Johan!" days and extending to his time as the best pitcher in baseball. AG.com began in 2002, from 2002-2010 a total of 121 pitchers started at least 125 games, and Santana was the only one with an ERA below 3.00. And I'll never stop being upset that he was robbed of three straight Cy Young awards by win-obsessed voters.

• Congrats to everyone involved for what is probably the best moment in journalism history. And the follow-up might be even better if you pay close attention to the photo credit.

• Crazy, sad story about catfishing, blackmail, suicide, and a Minnesota native.

• Turning an old ballpark into an apartment complex is absolutely brilliant. I want to live there.

• Headline of the week/weak: "Police called over man singing 'Free Falling.'"

• If you were house-sitting a mansion and found $100,000 worth of 100-year-old whiskey, what else could you possibly do?

• As a big "Parenthood" fan I already liked Dax Shepard, but his excellent, emotional story about saying goodbye to his father makes me a fan for life.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked Aaron Hicks and Drew Butera, recapped Saturday's big Twins Daily meet-up, and discussed why getting to second base without passing out can be difficult.

• Alison Agosti is one of my favorite Twitter follows and podcast guests, and this video of her, Kyle Kinane, and Nick Rutherford telling jokes to avoid drinking "toilet wine" is funny:

After watching that I'm more convinced than ever that we need to do a "drinking game" episode of "Gleeman and The Geek." You know, as opposed to the usual "just drinking" episodes.

• Baltimore reassigned 36-year-old Lew Ford to the minors, where he could be Triple-A teammates with Danny Valencia.

• First-year manager Mike Redmond picked Kevin Slowey for a spot in the Marlins' starting rotation. Redmond caught Slowey for 11 games as Twins teammates.

• What does the Twins' season-opening roster look like? I'm glad you asked.

• I made my triumphant return to Paul Allen's show on KFAN and after 20 minutes of Twins talk he called me out for not following him on Twitter as I warned: "I don't like where this is going."

• Rob Dibble was fired as a high school baseball coach after 10 games.

• Addiction-wise I'm exactly like Buzz Bissinger, except for eating Chinese food and queuing movies I'll never watch on Netflix.

• Shouldn't the goal be to spend as little time as possible in public bathrooms?

• As someone who writes about baseball for a living I'm not qualified for much else, but "full-time barbeque editor" seems like a job I could thrive at.

• If what Tilda Swinton did qualifies as performance art then I'm ... actually, I don't know of any famous performance artists.

• Important question from my childhood: Why did Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky never hook up?

• RIP Gus Triandos, who was a very good catcher and a very memorable part of "The Wire":

Most underrated part of that whole thing? Officer Dozerman is a stat-head.

• Norm MacDonald launched a new video podcast and his first guest was Bob Einstein, who you may also know as Super Dave Osborne and/or Marty Funkhouser. It was great.

• "Aaron Gleeman loves him more than Mila Kunis and Julie Klausner combined" is big talk.

• Close enough, I guess.

• My super-cheery Twins season preview on NBCSports.com.

• I defy you to find a better picture of DMX.

• George Clooney, late bloomer.

• As someone who legitimately likes Pizza Hut's chicken wings I don't have much room to talk, but Mike Trout has terrible taste in chicken wings.

• If you love listening to Al Green's music as much as I do you'll also enjoy listening to Oliver Wang talk about his music and the greatness of "I'm Still In Love With You."

• Congrats to friend of AG.com Ray Henson for winning a World Series of Poker circuit event.

• Ron Swanson fans should listen to this, if only to hear how great/goofy Nick Offerman's real-life laugh is.

• Netflix instant recommendation: "Bachelorette" is pretty mediocre overall, but there was plenty of fuel for my longtime Lizzy Caplan crush.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Aaron Hicks girlfriend"
- "My nose cartilage grow is it normal?"
- "Delmon crab stick"
- "How much does Boof Bonser make?"
- "Pronounce Trevor Plouffe"
- "Nick Blackburn awful"
- "Does Kate Mara wear braces?"
- "Is Darren Wolfson married?"
- "Wild boar watching"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is the aforementioned "I'm Still In Love With You" by Al Green:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Territory Train, which takes the heavy lifting out of planning and executing Twins road trips. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

• Reminder: Twins Daily is having a get-together Saturday afternoon to watch the Twins-Rays spring training game on television. I'll be there and you should too. Details here.

• They did pretty well casting the show, but seeing the other names on the original call sheet for "The Office" is very interesting. Adam Scott and Mary Lynn Rajskub as Jim and Pam would have been fun.

• Zach Lowe's article on Grantland about the next big thing in basketball analysis is fascinating.

• My pick for the best team in the American League probably won't surprise anyone.

• I saw John Mulaney at the Varsity Theater in Dinkytown last weekend and he was incredible. An hour of non-stop laughs, mostly from stories rather than one-liners, and the 500-person crowd couldn't possibly have been more charmed by him. He seamlessly mixed in some funny stuff about Minnesota, coaxed a ton of laughs out of talking to a random audience member halfway through the set, and was basically just perfect. And his opener, Carmen Lynch, was really good too.

• Lynch is coming to Acme Comedy Company this summer to headline her own show, where she'll do closer to an hour instead of the 15 minutes she did Saturday. I'm already looking forward to it. Oh, and here's a picture she took of the audience from backstage (I'm the good-looking one).

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked about Kyle Gibson's assignment to Triple-A and whether our bar-buying idea might be helped by Kickstarter.

• Speaking of using Kickstarter to fund a new bar opening, apparently it's already worked locally.

• Life is tough for Jon Hamm. Poor guy must be so whatever the opposite of embarrassed is.

• On a related note (sort of), "March Mad Men" is just a good use of the internet:

Every time I watch a video like that I can't stop thinking about how long it took someone to make.

• Old friend Pat Neshek talked about what life is like six months after losing his newborn son.

• Cory Cove, who goes mostly by "Sludge" on KFAN, won a poker tournament worth $50,000.

• Thanks to everyone who submitted mailbag questions via Twitter. Here are all the answers.

• Speaking of comedy shows I'm looking forward to attending, Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi are coming to Minnesota to do a live "Throwing Shade" podcast at Lee's Liquor Lounge on June 27. I wrote about "Throwing Shade" as part of my guide to podcasts last year. It's great, they're great, and I'll bet the live show here will be great.

• Hey guys, did you know "bloggers are where it's at"?

• Nick Offerman brought out the big guns to promote his new movie.

• Time-lapse NBA boxscores are pretty damn cool.

• What happens when a Diamondbacks minor leaguer interacts with comedian Rob Delaney on Twitter? Outing yourself as anti-gay marriage and the type of person who has to tell someone that you're unfollowing them on Twitter is quite a combo.

• I hope his one-scene cameo on "Girls" reminds everyone how great Colin Quinn is. I'd love to see a "Girls" spinoff starring Quinn and Alex Karpovsky. And maybe Amy Schumer too.

• I wrote a Royals season preview on HardballTalk and then got wonderful replies on Twitter.

• Oh man, the 80s were crazy.

• Thunderous dunks and Bone Thugs-N-Harmony are two of my favorite things, so I loved this:

Jason Terry misses his uncle Charles, basically.

• Miguel Sano was in the Twins' lineup against the Yankees last night and had two hits.

• I haven't listened yet, but I'm really hoping this new Beyonce song "Bow Down" is a Westside Connection cover.

• Alex Speier of WEEI.com wrote an interesting article about how Alex Meyer almost ended up with the Red Sox. Instead he's the Twins fifth-best prospect.

• Another look at catcher defense that doesn't show Ryan Doumit in a very good light.

• I really enjoyed Jeff Garlin's chat with Will Ferrell (and the Zach Galifianakis cameo).

• Lachlan Patterson was a great guest on this week's "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Graham Clark and Dave Shumka, which has emerged as my favorite podcast.

• I finally saw "Zero Dark Thirty" and thought the first two hours were mostly mediocre and the last 30 minutes were excellent. My favorite part of the whole movie was Andy Dwyer playing horseshoes and my second favorite part was this face. Also, props to the casting director for going with Dwyer, Coach Taylor, Michael Dawson, Pete Eckhart, and Tony Soprano. That's some good taste in television if nothing else.

• Netflix recommendation: "The Trip" starring Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Craig Calcaterra Minnesota"
- "Elliptical workouts for beer drinkers"
- "Jared Burton girlfriend"
- "J.J. Hardy dyes his hair"
- "Guys wearing black socks"
- "Emmy Rossum Mets game"
- "Coach Taylor got fat in Fargo"
- "Had sex with Jack White"
- "John Bonus"
- "How much does Louis C.K. weigh?"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Pistol" by Dustin Kensrue:

• Nick Punto took a 3-2 pitch during the ninth inning of Italy's final World Baseball Classic game. He thought it was ball four. The umpire called it strike three. GIF magic ensued.

• "The Professor, the Bikini Model, and the Suitcase Full of Trouble" is a pretty great article title, but it doesn't even begin to convey how insane and fascinating this story is.

• It turns out not even hate groups can hate Jennifer Lawrence.

• I feel sorry for Mariners fans because Jeff Sullivan is one of the best, most original bloggers around, but a lot of what he wrote hit home with me and echoes my thoughts about turning 30.

• I'll bet even the Jerky Boys would be proud of this one.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we spent a whole bunch of time talking about Aaron Hicks and also tried to figure exactly how stupid it would be to buy a bar together.

• Speaking of which, my grandpa owned a bar in Duluth for a long time before I was born and I stumbled across this Duluth News Tribune article about him from 1972.

• If nothing else, Glen Perkins committed to drinking at my bar if we call it "Mom's Basement."

• Perkins and Joe Mauer look more or less the same a dozen years later.

• What happens when a boxer tries to confront his Twitter troll? About what you'd expect.

• I haven't done a mailbag in months, so I'm fielding questions on Twitter to answer next week.

• In case anyone forgot for a second who's the best, Louis C.K. provides a nice reminder.

This wasn't bad either.

• My annual series ranking the Twins' top prospects concluded this week with an overview of the farm system as a whole.

• Vin Scully has a story he hadn't told in 50 years that's better than most people's best story.

• "Duck Dynasty" had 8.2 million viewers last week. To put that in context, consider that no "Mad Men" episode has ever topped 3.5 million and "Parks and Recreation" averages 3.1 million.

• I'm not sure if this makes me feel better or worse about getting old, but I'm the same age as, among other things, McNuggets, the moonwalk, the Disney Channel, and Microsoft Word.

• I know almost nothing else about him, but based on this Cory Booker is my favorite politician.

• Twins Daily is hosting a get-together to watch the Twins-Rays spring training game on Saturday afternoon, March 23. I'll be there, drinking and watching and whatevering. Details here.

• Sometimes you can't help but ask yourself "how did I get so damn lucky?"

• As a Gilbert Gottfried fan I'm a little bummed out to learn that he's, like, a real person.

• Old friend Carlos Gomez got a $24 million contract extension from the Brewers and based on the reaction I saw on Twitter many Twins fans refuse to believe he's not terrible.

• With the new Pope and all, I wonder if this is still true or not.

• As someone whose job requires him to keep constant tabs on hundreds of sites at once, Google Reader shutting down makes me incredibly sad. There are some alternatives, though.

• Pete Rose and his fiancee are the worst actors ever:

It almost seems like a "Tim and Eric" sketch.

• My blog-mate Craig Calcaterra got himself on MLB Network during the World Baseball Classic and really did everyone at HardballTalk proud.

• Julie Klausner, whose "How Was Your Week" podcast and overall crush-worthiness I've touted in the past, is coming here in August to host a "cat video festival" at the State Fair. Which means my new goal for 2013 is to appear together on one of KFAN's live-from-the-fair shows.

• I watched a great French movie this week called "Amelie" and you can get an English-subtitled version on Amazon for just 99 cents. Highly recommended.

• My nomination for the saddest GIF on the internet.

• I miss the old days when a chubby guy with glasses could be in a boy band and not necessarily even be the ugly one.

• My analysis of the Vikings trading Percy Harvin.

• Baseball-Reference.com has made its "Play Index" free through April 15, if you've ever wanted to try the world's most indispensable tool for baseball research.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Max Kepler fantasy"
- "Dick Bremer final season"
- "Aaron Gleeman chicken rice recipe"
- "Will Joel Zumaya play baseball again?"
- "Why did Chelsea Peretti quit drinking and pot?"
- "Indian women bathroom SABR"
- "Is Joe Mauer a switch-hitter?"
- "First time Anna Kendrick had sex"
- "Jimmer has weird jaws"
- "SABR analytics child"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is John Newman and Rudimental doing a live version of "Feel The Love":

This week's blog content is sponsored by DiamondCentric's newest shirt honoring the "Legends" of Minnesota baseball. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

• Trent Reznor and Carly Rae Jepsen don't know it, but they made a catchy song together.

• I can finally put all those pointless years of Hebrew school to some use and read it (from right to left) for the articles.

• Last week Nikola Pekovic met Zach Galifianakis, so this week he dressed up as him.

• I'm loving David Brauer's "returning to college as a 53-year-old" updates.

• Louis C.K. and Hank Aaron were on "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" together in 1993.

• This is the quickest I've ever deleted an e-mail.

• I'm guessing we'll probably never see Terry Ryan do this.

• Aaron Hicks had a decent Thursday afternoon, if you're into that type of thing.

• And to think, a day earlier some idiot claimed the Twins have three prospects better than Hicks.

• This week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode features lengthy discussions on Ron Gardenhire's future with the Twins and why Liam Hendriks could be the top Australian pitcher ever.

• Last week in this space I wondered if it was finally time to replace Mila Kunis as Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com and then she went and did this:

To be clear: I'm not the interviewer in that video, but I certainly could have been.

• Speaking of which: Back off, LeBron.

• News story lead sentence of the week: "A quick-thinking worker at Dunkin' Donuts threw hot coffee at a man who tried to climb through the drive-through window to rob the store, telling him 'go run on Dunkin'' as he fled."

• Blake Griffin and Jamal Crawford teamed up for an in-game dunk better than anything in the dunk contest, and Griffin's reaction afterward is pretty good too.

• Sad, disturbing details about the death of a Nationals prospect in the Dominican Republic.

• Torii Hunter may disagree, but Justin Verlander says the Tigers' clubhouse would be a good atmosphere for a gay teammate.

• I almost like the 1995 opening of "Breaking Bad" better, if only for the Foreigner.

• This is what happens when a blogger leaves the house.

• I used to think Barry Bonds posting a .480 on-base percentage at age 42 was amazing, but then I learned Nigella Lawson is 53. On a related note, I've been watching "The Taste" on ABC despite the fact that it's not a very compelling show.

• An eating contest involving seafood seems to be asking for trouble. And it definitely got it.

• As a fan of comedy, women, Jews, and working from bed this is basically the perfect video:

Joan Rivers and Sarah Silverman are so great together that I sent the link to my grandma.

• Fank you to whoever put together this Adele video.

• Delmon Young is making fast friends with another group of media members.

• I watched "Chelsea Lately" for the first (and probably last) time and this GIF explains why.

• My mom, who apparently watches "Chelsea Lately" regularly, offered this unsolicited review.

• Agents are agents in fake baseball too.

• Carson Cistulli's weekly chat with Dayn Perry was spectacular, as usual.

• Congrats to my former The Hardball Times partner, Dave Studeman, for winning this year's "Analytics Research Award" from SABR.

• Podcast recommendation: "The Crab Feast" with Jay Larson and Ryan Sickler. Get started with a Jen Kirkman episode, because she's always a can't-miss podcast guest.

• Mark your calendars: Twins Daily is having a get-together/viewing party on March 23 to watch the Saturday afternoon Twins-Rays spring training game on television. Starting at noon we'll be hanging out at 612 Brew in Northeast Minneapolis, drinking beer and talking baseball.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Marney Gellner age"
- "Will Chinese buffet kill my Atkins diet?"
- "I'm 29 years old and lost"
- "Corey Koskie net worth"
- "Chuck Berry and Sammy Sosa"
- "Brian Dinkelman girlfriend"
- "Is Terry Gross a baseball fan?"
- "How much does Louis C.K. weigh?"
- "Anthony Slama's mom"
- "Gleeman fashion"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Sweet Wanomi" by Bill Withers:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Rotoworld's annual "Fantasy Baseball Draft Guide," which is available in both magazine and online versions. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

• I also carefully considered my options before deciding to move out and buy my own house.

• Every student in a Johns Hopkins University class boycotted the final exam, so based on the established grading curve they all got a perfect score.

• I was conflicted seeing all the good-looking movie stars sporting beards at the Oscars, but ultimately they can't be blamed for believing in science.

• Nikola Pekovic and Zach Galifianakis are besties now. Lotta respect in the beard game.

• Never forget: Kelsey Grammer was the original Jennifer Lawrence.

• Tough to decide between Lawrence and Jack Nicholson or Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Sally Field for cutest Oscar couple.

• It was a good run, but after nearly three years as Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com this might be the end of us. I've got a committee putting together a list of potential candidates.

• And don't feel too bad for Mila Kunis. She's used to it.

• Just to be clear, I'm still willing to marry into Kate Mara's family.

• My annual series ranking the Twins' top prospects will conclude next week, but in the meantime here's the first installment of the top 10.

• Ricky Rubio to Alexey Shved on TNT last night: "Change your face. Be happy. Enjoy it."

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode one of my family members was randomly at the bar we chose for the recording and I also compared myself to Jennifer Lawrence.

• Locking yourself out of a hotel room naked is essentially my worst nightmare:

And based on that amazing video it's the worst nightmare of everyone around him too.

• Wright Thompson's lengthy ESPN.com piece about Michael Jordan on his 50th birthday is a must-read, if only for the part about Jordan's security code name being a Hebrew word.

• I kind of want to go to New Mexico and take this "Breaking Bad" tour, even if Bryan Cranston isn't around to pose for pictures with everyone.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com and two-time "Gleeman and The Geek" guest Lindsay Guentzel for her new gig on K-TWIN, where she'll co-host a show with Ron Coomer and Mark Rider.

• I've always been a big believer in naps, so I loved the Boston Globe's "how to nap" guide that illustrates the best methods for napping and explains why napping is a good thing. My personal recommendations: Try to nap immediately after finishing work for the day and buy a sleep mask to block out any sunlight for daytime napping (and also to look really cool, obviously).

• Erin Andrews had no interest in going to the candy shop.

• Zach Lowe of Grantland wrote a really interesting analysis of stat-head general manager Daryl Morey building the Rockets into a high-powered, statistically ideal offense.

• Reading this interview with Linda Cardellini it occurred to me that she's 37 years old, which seemed impossible considering she brilliantly played a teenage Lindsay Weir in 2000. My crush has not dissipated since then and I recommend spending 99 cents to watch Cardellini co-star with John Slattery in the 2011 independent movie "Return."

• Hey, it's spring training for national anthem singers too.

• Now that we know Ron Gardenhire texts I imagine him as a heavy emoticon user.

• Stephen Curry had a crazy degree of difficulty while scoring 54 points on 28 shots.

• I first saw Haralabos Voulgaris when he made the final table of a World Poker Tour event in 2007, but poker is just a hobby. He's gotten rich from betting on basketball and as Scott Eden of ESPN.com chronicles that makes him arguably the most successful statistical analysis in sports.

• UFC president Dana White's buddy challenged unassuming lightweight Joe Lauzon to a grappling match and the results were amusingly predictable:

Any weight advantage was canceled out by the scarf.

• Fictional players from my "Hardball Dynasty" league are now being interviewed on Fan Graphs.

• Sure, it's only March 1, but it's hard to believe you'll see a better catch this year.

• Jim Thome is still looking for work, so I'll make a standing offer: $20 per episode to co-host the podcast and I'll do the best I can to keep John Bonnes from hugging him.

• It took Joe Posnanski all of two posts on HardballTalk to write something better than anything I've ever written on there.

• In addition to Posnanski we also added Bill Baer of Crashburn Alley to the HardballTalk crew.

• My mom tried to get the inside scoop about the Baer hiring before anyone else.

• There's a podcast about embarrassing pooping stories and it's actually pretty good. "How I Met Your Mother" writer Doug Mand is the host and he's joined on "Doodie Calls" by lots of funny guests, like "Happy Endings" actress Eliza Coupe and Twitter must-follow Alison Agosti.

• Adele is great and all, but Paul F. Tompkins does the best version of "Skyfall."

• Louis C.K.'s latest stand-up special, which I happily bought for $5 on his website last year, is now available on Netflix online. Here's a screenshot of me watching it for the third time.

• In addition to being an age-old debate Blondes vs. Brunettes is also a female flag football game to raise money for Alzheimer's awareness, so check out a good, fun cause and go to their happy hour at Brit's downtown next week.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Father of Diora Baird's child"
- "Aaron Gleeman dating Linda Cardellini rumors"
- "Carlos Gutierrez baseball agent"
- "Ear lump"
- "Shecky Souhan"
- "Aaron is fat and mental"
- "NBA players wearing teeth braces"
- "How do I lay my leg with a broken fibula?"
- "Alexey Shved shirtless"
- "Kate Mara ugly"

• Finally, in honor of Cardellini still being great at 37 and Ronda Rousey using it for her entrance at UFC 157 this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Rotoworld's annual "Fantasy Baseball Draft Guide," which is available in both magazine and online versions. Please support them for supporting AG.com.