February 21, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Back in my day babies played much better man-to-man defense.

• If you want to sell a shitload of girl scout cookies just set up a table in front of a pot dispensary.

• I took notes while reading Molly Fitzpatrick's guide to making out in bars.

• Oh nothing, just someone eating four Chipotle burritos in three minutes without exploding.

• At some point very soon I'm going to be the last single person not on Tinder.

• Multiple studies show that Minnesota men are really bad at sex.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode John Bonnes scolded me for not kissing girls quickly enough, we sang the praises of Rye Deli, and celebrated pitchers and catchers reporting.

Pitbull and Kesha isn't really a combination that interests me, but a doo-wop cover of Pitbull and Kesha is right up my alley:

(Note: I refuse to use a dollar sign for Mase's name, so I'm damn sure not using it for Kesha.)

CC Sabathia is legitimately skinny now, which means he also probably misses Chinese food.

Maggie LaMaack's media blitz continues with another City Pages cover story, this one about 50 things to do in the Twin Cities before you die. I've done 12 of them and will likely die very soon.

• LaMaack also took time out of her cover story-writing schedule to interview one of my top 30 local tweeters, the ever-hilarious Ampersandria.

• At least we'll be able to continue doing the podcast even if one of us gets arrested.

Mike Redmond took a big step in his second year as manager, allowing the Marlins to grow beards after Ricky Nolasco broke all the rules last season.

The Onion: "Tips for pulling an all-nighter."

• Bodies are the worst. Mark Mulder was making a comeback after not pitching since 2008 ... and ruptured his Achilles' tendon on Day 1.

• During his amazing show at First Avenue last week Jason Isbell told us about an incident in the audience the previous night and, the internet being the internet, someone caught it on video:

Wisconsin, man.

• This interview is decent, but the larger point is that there's a human being who looks like this.

• My first ever experience working from a coffee shop was captured by intrepid photojournalist and internet creeper Megan Weisenberger.

• I'm definitely not the type of person who feels at home working from a coffee shop, for several different reasons, but Spyhouse Coffee in Uptown was a perfectly lovely venue.

• Old friend Matt Capps is having shoulder problems for the second straight season.

• Brunch spot recommendation: Meritage in St. Paul. Expensive, but well worth it.

• I used Local Motion to move me from Minnetonka to Uptown and couldn't have been happier with the whole experience. Professional, friendly, and efficient.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Parker Hageman second chance"
- "Kat Dennings porn lookalike"
- "Robin Wright porn lookalike"
- "Chelsea Peretti porn lookalike"
- "1982 Minnesota Twins roster"
- "Elisha Cuthbert podcast"
- "Aaron Gleeman top tweeters"
- "Who is John Sharkman?"
- "No cake, no pizza, no Chinese food"
- "How much does a Twins player get paid?"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Can't Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West:

January 24, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Saturday night's Twins Daily event is almost sold out again even after jamming in some more tickets, but we're hoping to record the panel discussions for a podcast that everyone can listen to later and you can submit questions for Twins president Dave St. Peter and my mom's all-time favorite player Scott Erickson.

• Grantland's oral history of "Swingers" is really good and nicely presented too.

• I never knew goats fainting was an actual thing, but now it's all I can think about.

• If you're like me and think the law banning the sale of alcohol on Sundays is outdated, absurd, and annoying you'll want to sign this petition. It's the only political cause I've ever cared about.

• Having an essay in the new "Baseball Prospectus" book is one of the great thrills of my life and 18-year-old me would be giddy. It's ready for pre-order, with February 11 as the shipping date.

Mike Axisa of CBSSports.com put together an all-time single-season Twins team, although including the Senators kind of ruins it for me.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode John Bonnes couldn't stop laughing at me for being a human man who may or may not have attended a kite festival.

• I watched all 14 minutes of "pissed off goalies" and would have gladly watched another 14:

Patrick Roy seems like a maniac.

• This is my personal brand now.

• Three months ago police killed a guy in my neighborhood and now there was a SWAT team standoff, which is why I'm moving to Uptown for some peace and quiet.

• It wasn't really my style, but if you're looking for an apartment in Uptown that's spacious and charming with a really nice landlord go check out this place.

• If the Uptown move doesn't work out I'm thinking of just buying the house from "Roseanne."

• President Carter, Young Money Democrat.

• I'd kind of like to make a mockery of the Star Tribune's "crush contest," so go vote for me.

UPDATE: Mission accomplished, I guess.

Ricky Rubio was the cutest, again.

• Friend of AG.com Maggie LaMaack's unstoppable, take-no-prisoners media blitz continues, including this gem: "LaMaack, meanwhile, has shattered her iPhone again."

• If you don't know a woman who would wear these you're doing something wrong with your life.

• Sunday night I watched a grown man I consider a friend do this and I'll forever be thankful that we caught it on video:

If you're curious, he called that "super-manning" the beer pong table.

• This is what it looks like when I dress up and pretend to like soccer in the name of friendship and morning drinking. And I apparently saw something incredible happen.

Possum Plows' latest is a Frank Ocean duet cover, which as you might expect is directly in my wheelhouse.

Phil Mackey is Judd Zulgad's new co-host on 1500-ESPN, replacing Jeff Dubay and leaving Patrick Reusse on his own in the afternoons.

• I loved Morgan Murphy's new stand-up comedy special on Netflix.

Hannibal Buress is coming to the Varsity Theater next month. I saw him at Acme Comedy Company last year and he was fantastic.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Consistently good podcasts"
- "Was Denard Span once called the next Kirby Puckett?"
- "Former friends catching up"
- "Are people nicer now that you've lost weight?"
- "Marc Maron hair transplant"
- "Lizzy Caplan facial hair"
- "Did Joe Mauer switch teams?"
- "Why do men have beards?"
- "Aaron Gleeman at Stella's in Uptown"
- "Traveling to New Zealand"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Born Sinner" by J. Cole:

December 31, 2013

Power Rankings: Top 30 Twin Cities Tweeters Of 2013

twitter follow me

City Pages ran an article by Maggie LaMaack ranking the "Top 20 Twin Cities Twitterers" among non-mainstream media and non-celebrities. She did a very nice job on the piece, which included artsy caricatures of each person and lots of fun quotes, but my Twitter obsession won't let me go on living without posting my own ranking. Mine is slightly different in that I refuse to use the word "Twitterers" and anyone is eligible, but it's the same basic idea. Oh, and I chose 30 instead of 20.


wessel twitter1. @DanaWessel (Dana Wessel from 96.3 K-TWIN)

So funny that it's worth putting up with his soccer fandom. Great taste in roommates.


randball's stu twitter2. @RandBallsStu (Randball's Stu from Twinkie Town)

Writer of the brilliant Uptown dating/Twins bloggers parody. Possibly our best doofus.


hageman twitter3. @ParkerHageman (Parker Hageman from Twins Daily)

Terrible taste in beer. Questionable taste in friends. Excellent baseball analysis.


lamaack twitter4. @MaggieLaMaack (Maggie LaMaack from L'étoile and City Pages)

Writer of the list I'm ripping off. Got a real good Aubrey Plaza vibe going. Too huggy.


rand twitter5. @RandBall (Michael Rand from the Minneapolis Star Tribune)

Weird internet enabler. Editor of Modern Jumpsuit Enthusiast Quarterly. Pug owner.


weisenberger twitter6. @foyobli (Megan Weisenberger from Minneapolis Beards)

Strip club aficionado. Beard curator. Mimosa consumer. Former volleyball superstar.


perkins twitter7. @glen_perkins (Glen Perkins from the Minnesota Twins)

One of the best relievers in baseball. The only Twin Cities athlete I follow on Twitter.


welle twitter8. @LizWelle (Liz Welle from Legends)

Burrito and whiskey lover. Essentially perfect except for being a KFAN/podcast groupie.


ampersandria twitter9. @ampersandria (Alexandria from Airplanes)

One of the funniest people on Twitter. Can really rock a poncho. Mediocre bingo player.


nelson twitter10. @nnelson9 (Nick Nelson from Twins Daily)

Single and looking to mingle. White rapper. Has been kicked out of VFW karaoke.


ugh twitter11. @heidi_ugh (Heidi from Helping Old People)

By far the funniest member of her family. Fell asleep within two minutes of meeting me.


krawczynski twitter12. @APkrawczynski (Jon Krawczynski from the Associated Press)

Hardest-working man in Twin Cities sports media. Really good. Not on "The Office."


white twitter13. @amanduhwhite (Amanda White from City Pages)

"Parenthood" analyst. Blonde-dating snob. Online bully of Aaron Rupar.


guentzel twitter14. @LindsayGuentzel (Lindsay Guentzel from 96.3 K-TWIN)

Stella's regular. Outstanding mid-90s acoustic sing-along partner. Pizza roll bringer.


bonnes twitter

15. @TwinsGeek (John Bonnes from Twins Daily and "Gleeman and The Geek")

I dunno. Whatever.


sauce twitter16. @MeatSauce1 (Paul Lambert from 100.3 KFAN)

Taste worth acquiring. Parking monitor. Troll baiter. Hanukkah cookie eater. Hadouken.


brauer twitter17. @dbrauer (David Brauer from MinnPost)

Knower of all things local media. Multi-time podcast guest. Oldest college student ever.


butler twitter18. @kateMbutler (Kate Butler from 100.3 KFAN)

Wild and Gophers reporter. Producer. Morning show regular. Dook-shoer. Sleepy baby.


miller twitter19. @MillerStrib (Phil Miller from the Minneapolis Star Tribune)

Twins beat reporter. Probably the best Twin Cities baseball writer. Jerry Sloan survivor.


mandy twitter20. @mandyapolis (Mandy Lee from Terrible OK Cupid Messages)

[Borat voice] My wife. [/Borat voice].


wolfson twitter21. @DarrenWolfson (Darren Wolfson from KSTP-TV and 1500-ESPN)

Other hardest-working man in Twin Cities sports media candidate. My former babysitter.


rupar twitter22. @atrupar (Aaron Rupar from City Pages)

Amanda White's online punching bag. Timberwolves sadomasochist. Beardo.


marthaler twitter23. @jmarthaler (Jon Marthaler from "The Sportive")

Ring-leader of the Twin Cities' filthiest podcast. Unrelenting sports fan. Soccer weirdo.


gigi twitter24. @_omgigi_ (Gigi Berry from Wherever Unicorns Are From)

Lover of nugs and beards. Frequently turnt. Goes back and forth regarding my worth.


than twitter25. @thanland (Than Tibbetts from Public Insight Network)

Keeps this blog running. The only person I met in journalism school and didn't hate.


mitich twitter26. @JohnnaMitich (Johnna Mitich from The Best Advice I Ever Got)

Filled in as "Gleeman and The Geek" producer once before I realized she was so funny.


gibson twitter27. @actuallyerin (Erin Gibson from Hip Hop BBQ Radio)

Mid-90s rap connoisseur. Claims to like brunch. Irish whiskey drinker. Soccer weirdo.


matteson twitter28. @solace (Kyle Matteson from Every Concert Ever)

Fastest favorite draw in the Upper Midwest. Music fiend. Brunch paparazzi. Beardo.


bollinger twitter29. @RhettBollinger (Rhett Bollinger from MLB.com)

Twins beat writer. Lane Kiffin superfan. Mediocre bowling alley trivia player.


gellner twitter30. @MarneyGellner (Marney Gellner from FOX Sports North)

My mom's favorite person. Upon meeting me, said: "You're not as weird as I expected."


If you read this whole thing and still won't follow @AaronGleeman on Twitter you're a monster.

November 1, 2013

Link-O-Rama

Christian Ponder sure seems miserable, reenacting great movie scenes with his great-looking wife for Halloween. Poor guy.

• Here's my follow-up question: What kind of maniac carpets over a giant, hand-painted Monopoly board in the first place?

Maggie LaMaack of L'étoile Magazine interviewed me about Twitter addiction, over-sharing on the internet, my favorite people to follow, and my idea for a new kind of online dating. I'm always looking for any opportunity to talk about something other than baseball, so it was a fun chat. Also, you should follow LaMaack on Twitter because she's great even though we're currently feuding.

• As a wise man once said: "Double-check the quotes you get off the internet."

• I'm officially part of The One Percent.

• I went to a Jason Isbell concert at the Varsity Theater last Friday night and it was amazing. Best show I've ever seen and I can't imagine someone being better. So much talent and energy and passion (plus his wife, Amanda Shires, is an awesome, spectacular-looking fiddle player). I'm already looking forward to Isbell's return to Minnesota at First Avenue in February.

UPDATE: Success!

• I'm crushed by news that Tom Scharpling is ending "The Best Show On WFMU" after 13 years. It's been such a brilliant, unique listening experience and Scharpling is one of my heroes.

• Congrats to Colin Wyers, who's leaving Baseball Prospectus for a gig with the Houston Astros. I was sitting next to Wyers in Anaheim for Mike Trout's first career hit and I remember thinking at the time that two of the three people involved in this story will go on to big things.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we discussed Paul Molitor joining the Twins' coaching staff and Terry Ryan's maddening quotes before welcoming special guest Randball's Stu for the final 30 minutes of pre-Isbell excitement (and confusion, for John Bonnes).

• Halloween costume baseball at San Diego State is fun:

Maybe the Twins should try wearing costumes next season. Can't be much worse.

• Like everyone else in life, Robert De Niro really just wants to be understood.

• Would it be weird if I brought this on dates? Just want to get it right, you know?

• I'm not sure that any of these "reasons you should love guys with beards" actually make much sense, but we can use all the help we can get.

• I'd laugh, but this could easily be me with the Twins some day.

• The bad news for Nate Burleson is that he crashed his car and broke his arm while trying to keep a pizza from sliding off the seat. The good news is that he's been offered a free year's supply of pizza. The worst news is that the pizza is DiGiorno.

• My mom sent me this link and said: "Your room is still available!"

• TwinsFest is switching from the Metrodome to Target Field, so the Twins are capping attendance among lots of other changes. We're still planning to host a Twins Daily/AG.com get-together.

LaVelle E. Neal III of the Minneapolis Star Tribune is the new Baseball Writers Association of America president.

• Video rental stores were a massive part of my childhood, but that window has closed.

• Why would a 25-year-old quit baseball after making his MLB debut?

• This is what I'll be doing everywhere I go throughout Movember.

• I'm totally useless in the kitchen, but this can't possibly be real can it? Obviously the music adds a whole new dimension.

• Probably going to ask Allison Williams to recap my podcast like this too:

Also, hopefully "Gleeman and The Geek" listeners realize that I am sparing you some details.

• What exactly do the Twins have in Brian Dozier?

Ron Swanson fans will love this.

Johnny Knoxville's chat with Marc Maron was lots of fun and led to me discovering through research (Wikipedia) that his real name is Philip Clapp.

• I retweeted this Sam Miller masterpiece during the ninth inning of every Red Sox playoff game.

• "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Graham Clark and Dave Shumka is my favorite podcast and this week they had on their most consistently delightful guest in Alicia Tobin.

Amber Tamblyn and Todd Glass were an amazing guest combo on "Comedy Bang Bang" with Scott Aukerman.

• I listened to this whole thing just to hear them say my name.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Head size contest"
- "Cory Cove is a punk"
- "Who is Big Papi?"
- "Brett Favre shirtless"
- "Guide to sports podcasting"
- "Best shoes for men over 400 pounds"
- "How fat is he?"
- "Tom Scharpling vs. Howard Stern"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is Link-O-Rama favorite Possum Plows doing an acoustic cover version of "Don't Kill My Vibe" by Kendrick Lamar:


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