October 17, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Approximately one million people sent me the New York Times' "brunch is for jerks" article, but here's the thing: Combining breakfast food and booze is undeniably great. End of story.

• UFC announcer Mike Goldberg did play-by-play for the Vikings-Lions game and it was a mess, with botched names and confused calls throughout. Afterward he cursed out people on Twitter who were criticizing his performance, at which point FOX removed him from their NFL schedule.

• If this is true about Kate Mara ... well, then I quit.

• How much payroll space do the Twins have and, more importantly, will they actually spend it?

Martha Stewart vs. Gwyneth Paltrow is this generation's Notorious B.I.G. vs. Tupac.

• Congrats to friend of AG.com Dana Wessel for winning "Mrs. Arkansas International, 2014."

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we drank beer at 612 Brew and revisited our preseason predictions to see just how terrible they were.

• We also had Twins beat reporter Mike Berardino of the St. Paul Pioneer Press as our guest on "Gleeman and The Geek" two episodes ago and lots of listeners enjoyed it more than usual.

• Imagine if someone from England looked just like Aaron Rodgers and hung around Green Bay:

Tom Wrigglesworth is a quality name, too.

• I "took issue" with something a local newspaper columnist wrote about Joe Mauer and brain injuries, leading to City Pages' amusing recap and this brilliant "Douse Mauer in Gasoline and Chase Him with Matches" parody by Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman.

• Speaking of which, one year ago Neuman wrote my favorite parody ever, including this opening line: "As night-life emissaries go, one could do better than Aaron Gleeman."

Maggie "Boss Lady Yung Mags" LaMaack is one of the most underrated writers in Minnesota, this time on the subject of using Tinder to date.

• The local chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America gave Ron Gardenhire their "media good guy" award on his way out.

Andrew Friedman left the $50 million payrolls in Tampa Bay for the $250 million payrolls in Los Angeles and sent a goodbye letter to a Rays blog.

• I went to a high school journalism conference when the Final Four was here in 2001 and Bob Ryan's storytelling mesmerized me, so I enjoyed Grantland's profile of the Boston sportswriter.

• Believe it or not the Twins had many valuable players this season and I ranked them on my hypothetical team MVP ballot.

• Two all-time greats, Bill Murray and Howard Stern, had a nice long chat and it was very fun.

• You may not think so, but you'll definitely want to watch a little kid recreate Patrick Swayze's dance moves from the final scene of "Dirty Dancing":

I can do the same thing, except with Elaine Benes' dance moves in "Seinfeld."

Dax Shepard is one of the most underrated actors/funny people around and he was predictably funny/charming chatting with Marc Maron.

• I spent a week reading "Gone Girl" and wherever I put it down--on the bed, on the floor, on random places around the house--she immediately slept on it.

• On a related note, my power rankings of David Fincher movies:

1. "Seven"
2. "Fight Club"
3. "The Social Network"
4. "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button"
5. "The Game"
6. "Gone Girl"
7. "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"
8. "Panic Room"
9. "Zodiac"
10. "Alien 3"

I apologize in advance for not liking "Zodiac" more. I realize that will bother many people.

J.J. Hardy, whom the Twins basically gave away to the Orioles in 2011, signed a three-year, $40 million contract extension to remain in Baltimore.

• Thrilled that Tom Scharpling is bringing back "The Best Show" after reconsidering retirement.

• I agree with Rick Nelson's review in the Minneapolis Star Tribune: Libertine has quickly become one of my favorite restaurants for dinner and brunch.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Man who couldn't stop laughing at his own twin"
- "Sweet Martha's Cookies revenue"
- "Sylvester Stallone young beard"
- "What will happen to Rick Anderson?"
- "Jerome Felton's girlfriend"
- "What was Aaron Burr's sidekick's name?"
- "Jon Taffer pumpkin carving stencil"
- "Naked twins"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Take Me To Church" by Hozier:

September 26, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• Yankees announcer Michael Kay gave me a little shoutout on YES Network during Derek Jeter's final home game Thursday night:

And during the same game, on the Orioles' broadcast, they quoted me about J.J. Hardy's value.

• In terms of trolling for truth, "Jay Z was better than Beyonce is" might be even more effective than Keith Olbermann's anti-Jeter tirade.

• Wednesday's rain delay meant Phil Hughes finished one out short of reaching 210 innings for the season to receive a $500,000 bonus. After initially saying they wouldn't the Twins later offered him a chance to pitch in relief during Sunday's season finale ... and Hughes turned it down. Still, considering he set the all-time strikeout-to-walk ratio record in a season worth several times his salary and the rain delay is the only reason he didn't reach the bonus perhaps the Twins should donate the money to charity in his name or something?

Darko Milicic is done with playing basketball and is now a kickboxer. Seriously.

• For combining simplicity and effectiveness you're not going to find a better opening sentence: "Dale Decker is a man who says he orgasms in his pants over 100 times per day."

• Legalizing marijuana in Minnesota could raise enough revenue in one year to pay off Ricky Nolasco's entire contract. And everyone would be less stressed out watching his starts, too.

Lauryn Hill at her peak was an inner-circle Hall of Fame talent, but this is why I couldn't talk myself into paying $65 per ticket to see her at First Avenue earlier this year.

• I tore my ACL walking from CC Club to VFW two minutes after turning down a ride and one minute after mocking someone for slipping on ice, but this is arguably an even dumber way.

• Oh god. Minneapolis/St. Paul Business Journal has an article about John Bonnes and he looks all annoyingly super happy in the photo.

• Friends of AG.com and "No Juice Podcast" co-hosts Dan Anderson and Parker Hageman tried to show what it's like to pitch-frame a 100-mph fastball. It did not go well:

"You're gonna be on the whacking DL for a while" is a great line. (Also: They couldn't hit it either.)

• Read this Ben Lindbergh article about the Pirates' extensive use of sabermetrics and tell me the Twins aren't at a basic, fundamental disadvantage.

• Who will the Twins purge from the 40-man roster? Almost half of the players are droppable.

• My big takeaway from Mitch Williams' lawsuit is that MLB Network was paying him $2 million.

Benjy Bronk from Howard Stern's show is the guy who got tossed from Roger Goodell's press conference, which should not surprise any longtime Stern fans.

• My blog-mate Craig Calcaterra is one of 24 writers selected for Amtrak's residency program.

Andrew Baggarly is one of the best, most experienced baseball reporters around, but the San Francisco Giants are boycotting him for reporting something no one seems to deny happened.

• In addition to being dashingly handsome to the point of intimidation, Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman tells a really good story.

• It turns out the new iPhones could be big news for schlubby guys.

• Chicago deep-dish pizza chain restaurant Giordano's is coming to Uptown, just a few doors down from Green Mill.

• Restaurant recommendation: The Bad Waitress has become one of my go-to spots. It's great for my fellow breakfast-for-dinner lovers and it's on Bite Squad.

• I still need two more owners for my "Hardball Dynasty" league on WhatIfSports. Details here.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Happy dirty thirty"
- "Ron Gardenhire contract"
- "How much does Joe Nathan make per game?"
- "Who did the Nationals trade for Wilson Ramos?"
- "Marney Gellner rain delay dance"
- "Bill Smith on Seinfeld"
- "Is Justin Morneau French?"

• Finally, in honor of Jeter's retirement this week's AG.com-approved music video is "The Captain" by Kasey Chambers:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

August 29, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• We're broadcasting next week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode live from the KFAN booth at the State Fair from 4-6 p.m. Sunday afternoon. Come sit in the bleachers and stare at us. And also bring me some Sweet Martha's Cookies.

• On a related note, Sweet Martha's Cookies generates the most State Fair revenue and it's nearly three times more than any other vender.

• Mariners minor league Jesus Montero went into the stands with a bat after a Mariners scout heckled him with an ice cream sandwich. And that description doesn't even do the story justice.

Stephon Marbury is starring in a musical in China based on his life.

• Woman charged with attempted murder for driving her car into a man over a "bar tab dispute" at The Bulldog in Uptown, which is why you should go to Nightingale instead.

• Paying for "Invisible Girlfriend" has to be easier than Tinder for a lot of people.

• Minnesota Public Radio has started a new podcast network and my beloved Steve "Randball's Stu" Neuman is running it.

• We recorded this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode half at the KFAN studio and half on the Twins Daily light rail pub crawl while being joined by an assortment of guests.

Drake and Nicki Minaj went to a convenience store to buy a whole bunch of snacks:

We're in agreement about Cheetos.

Natasha Lyonne is dating Fred Armison, which seems like an all-time weird couple.

• Speaking of which, Anna Wintour and Michael Jordan went on a tennis date.

• Braves shortstop Andrelton Simmons is a hit-stealing monster.

• A hearty congratulations to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for getting married. Now they can finally have sex.

• After two decades of awful teams Royals manager Ned Yost shamed fans for low attendance, so Kansas City Star columnist Sam Mellinger destroyed him. And then my HardballTalk colleague Joe Posnanski explained why attendance shaming is so misguided.

• I have a couple openings in my "Hardball Dynasty" league on WhatIfSports and the new season begins next week. Click here for details.

• Given the team's self-created difficult circumstances Timberwolves fans should be happy about the return they got for Kevin Love, but Glen Taylor should still probably stop talking.

• I was on the fence about rekindling my long-dormant Timberwolves fandom and then this video pushed me over the edge:

I'm sure they'll figure out the non-dunking stuff at some point.

Joel Przybilla just retired after 13 seasons and nearly $45 million in career earnings.

• Would you let this man manage your baseball team?

Justin Morneau was almost traded to the Brewers, but the Rockies pulled him back off waivers.

• Rochester, New York signed a two-year extension with the Twins to remain their Triple-A home.

• Better late than never: "Gleeman and The Geek" producer Kate Butler just sent me this video of Brandon Broxey, Dana Wessel, Parker Hageman, Holly Manthei, and others "dancing" at my house party last year. I've since moved, thankfully.

• I always enjoy when Alicia Tobin is a guest on "Stop Podcasting Yourself" with Graham Clark and Dave Shumka.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "David Kahn baseball"
- "John Bonnes on KFAN"
- "How fast can Oswaldo Arcia swing?"
- "Wessel pornstar"
- "Scott Ullger horrible"
- "Has Angelina Jolie ever been to Minnesota?"
- "Actor who looks like Eduardo Escobar"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Am I Wrong" by Nico and Vinz:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."

June 20, 2014

Link-O-Rama

Tony Gwynn: Great baseball player, better dude.

• By using facial recognition software Match.com is offering to find someone who looks like your ex for the low, low price of $5,000.

Ryan Howard responded to Nickelback-listening allegations, which are very serious.

• I've had this blog since 2002, so I'm biased, but it's surprising that only seven percent of people have a personal website and that number jumps to only 15 percentage among millennials.

• "The Situation Arrested In Tanning Salon Brawl" is the least surprising headline of all time.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked about removing Sam Deduno from the Twins' rotation, Josmil Pinto's demotion to Triple-A, and how I became a cat person.

Lizzy Caplan and Scott Aukerman turn the tables and explain why men just aren't funny:

Every few months it's important to remember that Lizzy Caplan is the best.

• The man, the myth, the legend: Randball's Stu.

Mike Trout is, once again, the best player in baseball.

• As a big fan of the Oxford comma I'm pleased to see that I'm apparently in the majority.

• If we can start suing people for not understanding sarcasm I'm going to be a billionaire.

• AMC has already ordered a second season of the "Breaking Bad" spinoff "Better Call Saul" and the show isn't even scheduled to debut until 2015.

Sean Doolittle has the best strikeout-to-walk ratio in baseball history and it's not even close.

Ben Revere is the cutest and don't you ever forget it:

Also potentially relevant: Revere has a .665 OPS for the Phillies after posting a .645 OPS for the Twins, so he's been the same very interesting, very flawed, and ultimately very mediocre player.

• Fresh off his wedding party taking a group photo on a dock as it collapsed, friend of AG.com and "No Juice Podcast" co-host Dan Anderson took his new bride on a honeymoon to the Dominican Republic ... and wrote about visiting the Twins' baseball academy there.

• Not only is the food incredibly disappointing, everything about BoneYard's brunch setup sounds disgusting to me.

• At the opposite end of the spectrum one of my favorite new restaurants, Heyday, is starting brunch service next month.

• I saw Lake Street Dive at The Cedar a few months ago and they were great, so everyone should go see them at the First Avenue mainroom on August 27.

• One of my favorite stand-up comedians, Jen Kirkman, is coming to Acme Comedy Company in late September. I'll be there and you should be too.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Tom Barnard baseball scout"
- "10-pound Chinese foods"
- "Trevor May throws hard"
- "David Ortiz blames Tom Kelly"
- "Ryan Doumit shirtless"
- "Shane Mack's new album"
- "Dime store Ryan Gosling"
- "Jim Souhan is fit"
- "Michael Jordan striking a baseball"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Oxford Comma" by Vampire Weekend:


This week's blog content is sponsored by R.F. Moeller Jeweler's repair department, which is recognized as the premier jewelry repair facility in the Twin Cities. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

June 13, 2014

Link-O-Rama

• I'm thrilled that friend of AG.com Randball's Stu/Steve Neuman has been hired by American Public Media and Minnesota Public Radio to "write words for them on various projects." Thrilled!

• This is exactly why I had to block my mom on Facebook last year. Seriously.

• Old friend Matthew LeCroy is now the Nationals' bench coach and he's doing some big things in Washington involving weird sandwiches.

• Topps is producing short-printed cards featuring sabermetric statistics on the back.

Jon Hamm is a big St. Louis Cardinals fan and now they're giving him a bobblehead doll night.

• Did the Twins make a good move by signing Kendrys Morales? I'm glad you asked.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode we talked a ton of about the Morales signing and analyzed the Twins' draft picks and John Bonnes' dance moves in equal detail.

• Speaking of which, as promised on the podcast here's an extended video of Bonnes on stage at the KFAN "rube party" dancing like a maniac:

There are actually two more videos just like that, including one that also implicates "Gleeman and The Geek" producer Kate Butler, but the world has probably seen enough.

• I'm studying "How To Parallel Park Perfectly, Every Time" because I'm the absolute worst at it.

• Women are learning to be grossed out by me at younger and younger ages these days.

• Good to see Michael Jordan can still have this effect on people too young to have actually grown up watching him play basketball.

Yoenis Cespedes made an incredible throw. And then he made another one the next night.

• You'll never guess what Jesse Spector of The Sporting News thought of the Twins' television announcing duo.

Greg Howard's lengthy Deadspin piece about Jason Whitlock, ESPN, and "Black Grantland" was fascinating and, if even mostly true, pretty damning.

• In honor of the World Cup, let the Minnesota United players teach you the rules of soccer.

• Related note: My mentor Dana Wessel is a huge soccer fan--to the point of madness, really--so you should follow him on Twitter during the World Cup. (And also just because he's very funny.)

• Congratulations to my cousin and Hopkins high school pitcher/infielder Josh Gallop for being named to the Academic All-State baseball team. He's also easily the least annoying person in my immediate family, although the competition there is admittedly far less steep.

• I wish I still had this entire outfit.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Kevin Slowey engaged"
- "Curtis Granderson boxers or briefs?"
- "Joe Mauer batting average"
- "Drug known as Kubel"
- "What did Aaron Gleeman die from?"
- "What happened to Scott Erickson?"
- "Bobby Womack baseball"
- "What did the Twins get Derek Jeter?"
- "Drew Butera personal catcher"
- "Anna Kendrick socks"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Beautiful" by Miguel and Mariah Carey:


This week's blog content is sponsored by R.F. Moeller Jeweler's repair department, which is recognized as the premier jewelry repair facility in the Twin Cities. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

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