AaronGleeman.com

• Aaron Rupar of City Pages was at a coffee shop when he witnessed the start of a blind date, so naturally he stuck around for the whole thing and live-tweeted it.

• I'm thrilled that one of my favorite writers, Joe Posnanski, will be joining NBCSports.com as a columnist, blogger, and all-around "digital voice." And now that he's a co-worker I'm going to use Posnanski to become friends with Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur and then use him to meet Aubrey Plaza. Any writing Posnanski does is just a bonus.

• Speaking of Posnanski, it almost seems like he didn't enjoy watching "Trouble With The Curve."

• And speaking of NBCSports.com, my blog-mate Craig Calcaterra put together an extensive oral history of HardballTalk.

• Tony Soprano's daughter is marrying Lenny Dykstra's son.

• As a kid I owned a Nick Van Exel jersey, so this news makes me feel both old and sad.

• I made my triumphant return to Paul Allen's show on KFAN yesterday and we talked Twins, but the highlight was when he sang to me and asked how my mom is doing.

• I'm asking my family to do the same thing, but with Chinese food carryout.

• Eddie Guardado was elected to the Twins' team Hall of Fame. I ranked him as the 26th-best player in Twins history.

• My first concert was Boyz II Men (with opening acts Babyface and Tevin Campbell) at Target Center in 1994. They're coming back to Target Center in July ... with New Kids On The Block and 98 Degrees, which is probably more nostalgia than I can stomach at this point.

• Twins president Dave St. Peter was our guest on this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode and we asked him all about payroll, revenue, television money, attendance, and a lot more.

• Also on this week's podcast: If you listen closely John Bonnes mentions magnets at one point and I start to say this before realizing he won't get it.

• This would be a bargain at double the price, but as always the University of Minnesota could have saved $3,406 and just watched "Seinfeld":

"Fake, fake, fake, fake" is one of my top-five lines in "Seinfeld" history.

• And people think I never leave the house.

• Phil Miller has officially started covering the Twins for the Minneapolis Star Tribune, so you should definitely be following him on Twitter.

• Carl Pavano had his spleen removed after suffering a laceration when he fell shoveling snow.

• Chuck Klosterman wrote a very interesting, nuanced article about mental illness and Royce White, who's yet to play an NBA game.

• As someone who relies on a GPS to get him everywhere, I now have something new to fear.

• Saturday night's attempt to #GetSethDrunk at the Twins Daily get-together was unsuccessful, but this receipt shows that I tried my best. Sadly, he gave up after one.

• I posted a few other pictures from Twins Fest and the star-studded post-Twins Fest get-together.

• Based on this study Nick Punto should have been murdered years ago.

• I consider these men American heroes and hope their story is the plot of "Ocean's Fourteen."

• Phillies manager Charlie Manuel summed up Delmon Young's entire career in one depressing but true quote.

• On a related note, reading what Phillies blogs wrote about signing Young is quite an experience.

• I don't know enough about the non-baseball part of Boston sports media to say if Alan Siegel's article in Boston Magazine is particularly accurate, but it definitely raises some interesting topics that can be applied to Minnesota and every other major market.

• And to think, people make fun of me for only wanting to go to bars around Hopkins.

• David Fincher is my favorite director and I'm obsessed with Netflix instant, so I'll probably watch "House of Cards" in one sitting.

• "End of Watch" was a mediocre movie overall, but it's worth renting just for Anna Kendrick singing "Hey Ma" by Cam'ron:

Seriously.

• As if that video didn't make world-renowned Kendrick fan and 1500-ESPN producer/writer Dana Wessel happy enough, his wardrobe is about to expand significantly.

• On a related note, Wikipedia says the following about Cam'ron's pre-music days:

Cameron Giles was born and raised in Harlem, New York. He went to school at Manhattan Center for Science and Mathematics, where he would meet his long time friends Mase and Jim Jones. He was a promising basketball player alongside Mase, however, he was unable to take advantage of various scholarship offers due to a poor academic record.

I'm the biggest Mase fan in the world, but not living in the alternate universe where Cam'ron and Mase became the next Stockton and Malone makes me very sad. If nothing else, based on this video we can say conclusively that Cam'ron was a better basketball player than David Arquette.

• Friend of AG.com and Twins Daily blogger Nick Nelson profiled fantasy sports payment service LeagueSafe and its creator Paul Charchian.

• As a nation we're not talking enough about Michael Beasley's hair.

• Terry Ryan's explanation for signing Kevin Correia makes it difficult to buy into the Twins' supposed embracing of statistical analysis or trust their scouts.

• Friend of AG.com and longtime prominent stat-head Tom Tango now works exclusively for the Cubs after consulting for multiple teams and they're also looking to hire a Director of Research and Development in Baseball Operations.

• After his 10-year NFL career former Vikings running back Leroy Hoard struggles with memory loss and emotional problems at age 44.

• Carson Cistulli's first act of journalism since joining the Baseball Writers Association of America involved asking Brewers reliever John Axford about his mustache and Ryan Gosling.

• New podcast discovery: "Put Your Hands Together" with Cameron Esposito, who records the weekly stand-up comedy show she hosts at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater in Los Angeles and mixes in some interviews. Through three episodes the list of comics featured includes Aziz Ansari, Anthony Jeselnik, Bob Odenkirk, Kyle Kinane, Steve Agee, Bobcat Goldthwait, James Adomian, and Jerrod Carmichael. Stand-up comedy nerds will absolutely love it.

• I guess A's left-hander Brett Anderson is my new favorite player now.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Can you get skinny by going swimming?"
- "What team did Denard Span go to?"
- "Quick ways to lose 150 pounds"
- "Jason Kubel tattoos"
- "Twins pitcher sucks"
- "Aubrey Plaza tied up"
- "29th birthday"
- "Rob McElhenney bench press"
- "Dan Gladden daughter"
- "Is winter statistically harder to lose weight?"
- "Girlfriend obsessed with podcast"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Hey Ma" by Cam'ron:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Peter David Benson's book "All Babies Suck," which is available on Amazon.com as a free Kindle download. Please support him for supporting AG.com.

• You'll have to wait until Monday morning for my analysis of the Twins signing Jason Marquis, but in honor of today being Festivus this week's Link-O-Rama is super-sized ...

And here's a little more about my favorite holiday:

Coincidentally, today is also the 100,000th time Seinfeld has been referenced on this blog.

• I'm only into Minka Kelly for her memorabilia collection anyway.

• "Survey finds most people go online for no particular reason" explains my entire career/life.

• If you've seen Pulp Fiction as many times as me you'll love watching it in chronological order.

• Albert Pujols made headlines, but this was by far the best moment of the winter meetings.

• I've been getting into Johnnie Walker black label lately, and that was before seeing their new advertising campaign.

• Whomever suggested White Castle should sell beer and wine is a genius. An evil genius.

• Headline of the week: "Man eats cocaine from brother's butt, dies."

• Louis CK skipped the middle man and sold his new comedy special on his website for $5. Not only was it great and easy to buy, the numbers should encourage others to follow suit and he donated $280,000 to charity.

• CK also called himself the Orlando Hernandez of stand-up comedy and was a great guest on Bill Simmons' podcast, although ESPN had trouble deciding which bad words to bleep out.

• Terry Ryan's taste in sweaters is similar to his taste in proven closers.

• As this intense video clearly shows, taekwondo is no joke:

My favorite was the spinning back kick.

• Chris Ison is a Pulitzer Prize winner and was one of my favorite teachers at the University of Minnesota, so his writing about my career path for the journalism school magazine is surreal.

• I used to dislike Bill Conlin as a columnist, but now that couldn't matter less. Yuck.

• David Brauer of MinnPost notes that Judd Zulgad and Joe Anderson quadrupled the ratings on 1500-ESPN after replacing Colin Cowherd.

• Hopefully throat surgery will at least allow Adele enough time to get into a relationship and have an angry breakup she can use for material. And if not I'll just try to break this record.

• If a judge sentenced me to 30 days of house arrest I'd laugh maniacally like Roberto DeNiro in Cape Fear and then take a nap.

• Probably the best (or least bad) thing Nickelback has ever done.

• Reminder: Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com candidate Kate Beckinsale is a 38-year-old mother.

• As an NBC employee and longtime Howard Stern fan this shouldn't make me so sad.

• Tony Levine, who used to referee my JCC basketball games, has replaced Kevin Sumlin as the University of Houston's new football coach.

• Amare Stoudemire was on Sesame Street teaching Hebrew. Obviously:

He probably would have been pretty decent in that JCC basketball league.

• Al Jefferson has a 38-year-old girlfriend and she got arrested for allegedly biting him.

• My online love affair with Chantel Kendall from Baseball Wives was fun while it lasted, but all good things must come to an end.

• Not to be outdone by Jacque Jones becoming the Padres' new Single-A hitting coach, Doug Mientkiewicz is the Dodgers' new rookie-ball hitting coach. Luis Rivas is still out of work.

• My favorite quote from Anthony Bourdain's predictably terrific appearance on Marc Maron's podcast: "I was regularly vomiting publicly and happy about it."

• Paz de la Huerta should be at the top of most lists, but this one in particular makes sense.

• Anyone wanna back me for this poker tournament?

• My childhood gets super confused looking at a 44-year-old Pamela Anderson.

• Local reporter Jon Krawcynski and the Associated Press reached a settlement with the NBA.

• On this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" podcast we discussed what the Twins' lineup looks like with Josh Willingham and Ryan Doumit replacing Michael Cuddyer and Jason Kubel, the difference between Christmas and Hanukkah, and first impressions of Ricky Rubio after seeing him in person. We also recapped one of my rare party-going experiences, as shown here:

From left to right that's me, Lindsay Guentzel, John Bonnes, and Parker Hageman.

• There's also photographic evidence of Bonnes dominating at quarters. Made a co-host proud.

• Sports Business Journal named my boss as the most influential person in sports business.

• So far so good with the Minneapolis Star Tribune's switch to a metered paywall.

• It turns out no one wants to read about actual baseball on a baseball blog.

• From now on I'll be referring to Kelly Oxford as a co-worker.

• Hey girl, how about some drunk history?

• Brandon Roy's too-short basketball career got the eulogy it deserved from Jason Quick.

• Melanie Laurent in Beginners might be the most attractive person ever. Good movie, too.

• On a related note, I carry around this list in my pocket, just in case.

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video--as quoted in Monday's post--is "Yesterday Was Hard On All Of Us" by Fink:

• If only they had this program for journalism school students 10 years ago.

• Conclusive evidence that blogging has jumped the shark: Sid Hartman has a one now.

• Two decades later the hair restoration cream from China finally worked on George Costanza.

• This totally ruins my Gail Simmons shiksa obsession and also shatters my entire world view.

• If you're not sick of Moneyball already, check out my article examining some of the history and ideas behind the movie (and the book).

• The look on this guy's face as he stares at Rihanna from behind is as amazing as the view.

• On a related note, they had to go all the way to Ireland to find a man who wanted her to put on more clothes.

• Jordan Schafer isn't much of a hitter, but he's a Hall of Famer at getting arrested with pot.

• Eva Amurri is the Ken Griffey Jr. of famous actress offspring.

• Bernard Berrian and his public relations team seem like a perfect match.

• Congratulations to Kenan Thompson on his recent engagement and for showing why being on television every week is so great.

• I'd watch every episode of Prime Suspect if they'd let Trey Kirby write the scripts while Maria Bello wears the hats.

• I finally watched Bridesmaids and thought it was somewhat over-hyped while still very good, but this deleted scene of "the longest argument ever" beats anything in the actual movie:

Hell of an ending, too.

• I'm thrilled that Arrested Development might return from the dead, but once that happens can we resuscitate Freaks and Geeks too?

• Zooey Deschanel and Lizzy Caplan on the same show may shatter the adorability scale.

• And in other casting decisions taken directly from my dreams, Maura Tierney is joining Jenna Fischer on The Office.

• Of course, not every decision NBC makes is a good one.

• My favorite quote of the playoffs so far: "There was poo everywhere."

• Joel McHale wrote a good article for Grantland about his time as a walk-on tight end for the University of Washington.

• I'm still skeptical about a(nother) Friday Night Lights movie, but everyone knows that Connie Britton doesn't say "for realsies" unless she means it.

• Ozzie Guillen's replacement as White Sox manager came out of nowhere.

• Jon Hamm's appearance on Marc Maron's podcast was every bit as enjoyable as expected.

• Speaking of which, Ida Blankenship remains the Queen of Perversions.

• No one has looked this good in a Pittsburgh Pirates hat since Barry Bonds.

• I look forward to this happening to me on Twitter some day.

• I've been debating getting a tablet computer, but reading this made me even more unsure.

• This week's episode of "Gleeman and The Geek" includes lots of arguing, a little drinking, and a new groupie.

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Shine" by Laura Izibor:

This week's Link-O-Rama is sponsored by Wholesale Gold and Diamond Distributors in Minneapolis, so please help support AG.com by considering them for your jewelry needs ...

• I have so many questions about this photo that I don't even know where to start.

• You had me at "McNulty."

• Good news for people who like funny things on the television: FX renewed "Louie" for a third season and picked up "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" for two more seasons.

• And if you haven't seen it the "Louie" scene between Louis C.K. and Dane Cook is amazing.

• Brett Favre thinks Fedor Emelianenko is sticking around too long.

• On a related note, UFC president Dana White revealed that Emelianenko once turned down a huge multi-fight offer to join the UFC and debut against Brock Lesnar.

• Dirty pictures of Bar Refaeli. Literally.

• Not only did 1500-ESPN dump Colin Cowherd, his replacement is Judd Zulgad, who's leaving the Minneapolis Star Tribune to host his own show and be a columnist for the station's website. Congratulations to one of the nicest, best, and hardest-working media members in Minnesota.

• Oh, and if you want his old gig the Star Tribune has a "help wanted" listing.

• Bryce Harper freaked out on an umpire after being ejected from a Double-A game.

• I'm guessing this is the best anyone has ever looked going through airport security.

• It must have been her "nice smile and personality" that snagged Derek Jeter.

• Best use of Win Probability Added ever? David Cameron versus leukemia.

• Sentence of the week: "His marketing agent said Dennis Rodman is spending $60,000 to fly in Penny Marshall, Howard Stern, and other friends."

• A video tribute to one of the most essentially non-essential characters in television history:

It's still not too late for Bob Sacamano spin-off show.

• Sarah Silverman to Deadspin: "Eat a dick."

• Some pretty compelling evidence that George Clooney is a genius.

• Being a baseball reporter is apparently more dangerous than it sounds, which is why it's far safer to stay in your parents' basement.

• SoccerTalk, anyone?

• They should be solid lead-ins for my cooking show.

• LaVelle E. Neal III and Al Newman were finally spotted in the same place at the same time.

• Confession: I'm a 28-year-old man and one night this week I watched "WWE: Greatest Cage Matches Of All Time" on Netflix instant.

• Lenny Dykstra looks good in orange.

• Just a couple 51-year-old former big leaguers brawling in a game managed by Jose Canseco.

• What were the biggest tactical mistakes that Stringer Bell made? I'm glad you asked.

• Podcast recommendation: Erin Gibson is hilarious on Twitter, so it's no surprise that she was an excellent guest on "Totally Laime" with Elizabeth Laime.

• I haven't posted a Fat-O-Meter update in quite a while and am feeling pretty good about my progress, so: I'm down 90 pounds since March 1. No real secrets, other than being very fat to begin with helps a lot. My initial goal was to have lost more pounds than Twins victories by the end of the season, but even if they finish the year on a 45-0 run I'm pretty safe.

• Speaking of which, Mila Kunis should write a dieting book. I'd buy it just for the pictures.

• If you like fiction and baseball, check out friend of AG.com Axel Kohagen's online novel.

• Reminder: If you're interested in advertising your product, service, local business, or website please consider helping to support AG.com by becoming a sponsor of the week.

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is Delta Spirit singing a live version of "Devil Knows You're Dead":

• Next time someone complains that professional athletes are overpaid, show them this.

• I'm convinced this will happen to me some day, except with Pizza Hut and chicken wings.

• Rest in peace, Uncle Leo. And my condolences to Cousin Jeffrey at the parks department.

• Mila Kunis wasn't actually nominated for anything, but the Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com still managed to win the Academy Awards. Hopefully she will always remember who blogged about her obsessively before it was cool.

• Ozzie Guillen basically told Bobby Jenks to check himself before he wrecks himself.

• Dr. Dre, Sedale Threatt's ex-wife, Burning Man, and the greatest sign-off to a hand-written love letter of all time: "I'm bout to pass out girl, wish I was up in that ass."

• It never occurred to me that "eating full boxes of Cap'n Crunch" was odd until a big deal was made of CC Sabathia stopping that practice, which is one of many reasons why we're around the same weight and he's 6-foot-7.

• On a related note, I'm not much for feet but there's no doubt Rex Ryan and I could hang.

• Phew. Glad that's settled, finally.

• David Brauer of MinnPost writes that things are looking up for the Minneapolis Star Tribune's website, which is a good sign as mainstream outlets figure out how to make money online.

• Not sure if "Where's Waldo?" is even still around, but this needs to replace it immediately.

• Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke dances to "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. Sort of:

He seems very undecided about the hat's value.

• Doc Gooden and Doc Drew is a sad combination.

• Oregon State defensive lineman Stephen Paea bench-pressed 225 pounds 49 times at the NFL scouting combine, which set the record and earned him the right to be called "hoss" by the always awesome John Lott.

• Such a simple concept and such an amazing site.

• In retrospect, I'm amazed that no one thought of this life-changing invention before now.

• I went into a Borders recently to use a gift certificate before they close up shop and just kept thinking "I can get this cheaper online." Big bookstores like Borders put a ton of mom-and-pop shops out of business because they could sell at a discount thanks to buying in such massive bulk and now Amazon.com is essentially doing the same thing to the big boys. The whole thing is kind of sad, but then again books are cheaper and more readily available now than ever.

• Derrick Goold of the St. Louis Post Dispatch wrote a very good profile of Bill James.

• Baseball-Reference.com mastermind Sean Forman is among the recipients of the Society for American Baseball Research's annual Henry Chadwick award. Well-deserved and then some.

• I'll remember these rules if I ever make it back into another pressbox.

• Alyssa Milano is having her first kid and Jessica Alba is having her second kid. Oh well.

• Bill Simmons is launching a new, ESPN-funded website and some of the details have leaked out, including his hiring of personal favorites Chuck Klosterman and Katie Baker.

• Meanwhile one of my favorite sports sites, AOL Fanhouse, is no more, as Sporting News sadly bought the name and let go of the many excellent writers who deserved a much better fate.

• Fanhouse is gone, but at least this epic e-mail chain lives on. Craig Calcaterra is everywhere.

• Speaking of Craig, he fell in love at first sight with Jeff Francoeur.

• Way before Rob McElhenney was on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia ... well, just watch this:

My favorite part is the attempt to keep things casual with the ultra-scripted "hold up."

• Funny podcast of the week: Zach Galifianakis on "Who Charted?" with Howard Kremer and Kulap Vilaysack.

• Bryant McKinnie is doing his best to prepare for the potential NFL lockout.

• Dennis Green's son and former ESPN.com writer Jeremy Green is expected to serve at least five years in prison after pleading guilty to child pornography charges in Connecticut.

• When great beards meet, everyone wins (except Baron Davis, who was traded to Cleveland a couple days later).

• ESPN just got a whole lot more stat-heady.

• Here's a unique look at how Kevin Love fills a statsheet by Matt Scribbins of HoopData.com, who actually e-mailed me saying I should give the article to my NBA-loving mom. I did and the last part made her sad.

• This is definitely one of the better bobblehead giveaways I've seen. Design and function!

• Here's the best argument yet for buying an iPad, although I wouldn't know where to begin.

• A pair of new blogs to check out: Twins Territory Talk and Off The Bench.

• Here are some highlights from my NBCSports.com blogging this week:

- Carlos Ruiz's wife gave birth exactly nine months after Roy Halladay's perfect game
- Elijah Dukes arrested, accused of hitting pregnant ex-girlfriend
- Brandon Phillips wants a long-term contract extension, but do the Reds?
- Ron Gardenhire says Brian Duensing will "absolutely" be in Twins' rotation
- Garret Anderson retires after 17 seasons and 2,529 hits
- White Sox giving Dayan Viciedo a look in the outfield
- Austin Kearns was arrested for a DUI in Kentucky last month
- Jeremy Bonderman is "likely going to sit this year out"
- Carl Pavano seriously considered one-year offer from Yankees

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "He Won't Go" by Adele: