AaronGleeman.com

• Roger Ebert, who's the greatest film critic of all time and still had his fastball at age 70, passed away yesterday after a harrowing battle with cancer. Even as cancer ravaged his body his mind remained incredibly sharp and he never ceased being the first review I read for every movie. And beyond his greatness as a writer and film critic Ebert lived a fascinating life and was a hilarious regular guest on Howard Stern's radio show for many years. Truly a legend.

• Parker Hageman of Twins Daily escaped from his parents' basement long enough to interview Glen Perkins about the role of sabermetrics in his career and I'm confident it's the best baseball article you'll read this week. Perfect mix of blogging, reporting, stats, and quotes.

• Speaking of Hageman, as part of his Opening Day trip to the Target Field press box he co-stars in this amazing GIF of Sid Hartman sipping hot chocolate.

• Believe it or not, the headline "Hopkins man trying to connect with woman he met at drunken driving class" is not about me. But can you audit those classes without the whole arrest part?

• Brett Favre's bedroom on draft day 1991 was absolutely spectacular.

• Who should be batting second for the Twins? I'm glad you asked.

• I jokingly asked via Twitter for someone to start a Tumblr page devoted to Roy Smalley's hair and the internet being the internet it now exists.

• I'm really hoping that J.J. Barea becomes a trend-setter.

• Probably my biggest regret in life was not having my breathalyzer to test John Bonnes midway through this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode.

• My mom weighed in on the podcast.

• Someone over at "MLB 13: The Show" decided to make a video of me as a player in the game and they even included the glasses, constant five o'clock shadow, and slow bat. Screen shot:

Honestly, those frames are hipper than I'm comfortable with and I don't have that much range.

• I've been letting my NBC bosses know that I'm available to take over Jimmy Fallon's old spot.

• As a lifelong Howard Stern fan I loved that his guests on Wednesday were Drew Magary from Deadspin and Louis C.K. from being the funniest person alive. Stern and C.K. had a tremendous hour-plus chat and afterward my main thought was: "I really hope they liked each other." Because for some reason that would make me incredibly happy.

• If you like "Parks and Recreation" you'll love this.

• Apparently there's now a third sports radio station in the Twin Cities, as Love 105 has become The Ticket, with programming that includes syndicated CBS Sports Radio shows.

• With free agency around the corner Robinson Cano fired Scott Boras as his agent and hired Jay-Z, which has me wondering what type of commission Mase charges.

• Kirk Goldsberry of Grantland wrote an awesome visual, statistical, and analytical article about how LeBron James became the best player in basketball and then got even better.

• Presented without comment: For three games this year the Twins are hosting a "Wine, Women, and Baseball" event at Target Field, sponsored by Midwest Facial Plastic Surgery and Aesthetic Skincare and featuring "pamper yourself stations."

• During my weekly appearance on KFAN with Paul Allen we discussed Eduardo Escobar's Hall of Fame candidacy for a half-hour or so. Plus some other stuff, probably.

• "Mad Men" returning is exciting enough, but in promoting the upcoming season Jon Hamm was a great guest on "Comedy Bang Bang" and very amusing on "Seven Minutes in Heaven":

"I thought that would make you kiss me."

• My attempt to figure out exactly how bad the Twins will be this season.

• Hebrew school expellees aren't much help in trivia contests.

• If anyone cares, here's my roster for the 13-team Rotoworld fantasy baseball league.

• A long time ago lots of people thought Delmon Young would be really good, so that's cool.

• "Blue Valentine" is one of my favorite movies--it came out in 2010 and I've seen it at least 10 times--and you can watch it for just 99 cents this week on both Amazon.com and iTunes.

• Maybe it was just low expectations because everyone seemed to hate it at the time, but I finally saw "This is 40" and really liked it a lot, especially Albert Brooks and Maude Apatow.

• I donate to Maximum Fun every month because they provide tons of great, free content in the form of several of the best podcasts around. They rely on donations to keep afloat, so please join me in sending them some money for the annual pledge drive.

• Stand-up comic, "Parks and Recreation" writer, Twitter must-follow, and fellow "Bar Rescue" fan Joe Mande is coming to Acme Comedy Company in Minneapolis next month. We should all go.

• Interested in sponsoring a week of AG.com and advertising your product, service, local business, or website to thousands of readers per day? Click here for details.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "Jared Burton girlfriend"
- "Darin Mastroianni girlfriend"
- "Robb Quinlan girlfriend"
- "Fat Zubaz"
- "What happened to Scott Erickson?"
- "Who did the Twins all trade?"
- "Twins future prospect"
- "Is Drew Butera married?"
- "Dick Bremer hates Aaron Gleeman"
- "Husband says I'm fat"
- "Alexey Shved shirtless"
- "Byron Buxton shirtless"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "You and Me" by Penny and The Quarters from the "Blue Valentine" soundtrack:

This week's blog content is sponsored by Territory Train, which takes the heavy lifting out of planning and executing Twins road trips. Please support them for supporting AG.com.

• If only they had this program for journalism school students 10 years ago.

• Conclusive evidence that blogging has jumped the shark: Sid Hartman has a one now.

• Two decades later the hair restoration cream from China finally worked on George Costanza.

• This totally ruins my Gail Simmons shiksa obsession and also shatters my entire world view.

• If you're not sick of Moneyball already, check out my article examining some of the history and ideas behind the movie (and the book).

• The look on this guy's face as he stares at Rihanna from behind is as amazing as the view.

• On a related note, they had to go all the way to Ireland to find a man who wanted her to put on more clothes.

• Jordan Schafer isn't much of a hitter, but he's a Hall of Famer at getting arrested with pot.

• Eva Amurri is the Ken Griffey Jr. of famous actress offspring.

• Bernard Berrian and his public relations team seem like a perfect match.

• Congratulations to Kenan Thompson on his recent engagement and for showing why being on television every week is so great.

• I'd watch every episode of Prime Suspect if they'd let Trey Kirby write the scripts while Maria Bello wears the hats.

• I finally watched Bridesmaids and thought it was somewhat over-hyped while still very good, but this deleted scene of "the longest argument ever" beats anything in the actual movie:

Hell of an ending, too.

• I'm thrilled that Arrested Development might return from the dead, but once that happens can we resuscitate Freaks and Geeks too?

• Zooey Deschanel and Lizzy Caplan on the same show may shatter the adorability scale.

• And in other casting decisions taken directly from my dreams, Maura Tierney is joining Jenna Fischer on The Office.

• Of course, not every decision NBC makes is a good one.

• My favorite quote of the playoffs so far: "There was poo everywhere."

• Joel McHale wrote a good article for Grantland about his time as a walk-on tight end for the University of Washington.

• I'm still skeptical about a(nother) Friday Night Lights movie, but everyone knows that Connie Britton doesn't say "for realsies" unless she means it.

• Ozzie Guillen's replacement as White Sox manager came out of nowhere.

• Jon Hamm's appearance on Marc Maron's podcast was every bit as enjoyable as expected.

• Speaking of which, Ida Blankenship remains the Queen of Perversions.

• No one has looked this good in a Pittsburgh Pirates hat since Barry Bonds.

• I look forward to this happening to me on Twitter some day.

• I've been debating getting a tablet computer, but reading this made me even more unsure.

• This week's episode of "Gleeman and The Geek" includes lots of arguing, a little drinking, and a new groupie.

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Shine" by Laura Izibor:

This week's Link-O-Rama is sponsored by Wholesale Gold and Diamond Distributors in Minneapolis, so please help support AG.com by considering them for your jewelry needs ...

• Baseball is nice and all, but I think I've finally found my sport.

• I wish Otis Redding would come out with as much post-death material at Tupac.

• Thankfully they didn't print any of my personal information. How embarrassing.

• Just by walking down the street Chrissy Teigen shows why supermodels are supermodels.

• As you might expect, Bruce Springsteen's eulogy for Clarence Clemons was pretty amazing.

• If forced to guess which female cast member on The Office was formerly an NFL cheerleader every single person would be wrong.

• Dave Chappelle took all the time he used to spend being funny and used it to work out.

• Jim Riggleman sure knows how to celebrate being fired. And now he's my colleague. Sort of.

• Don't let the Sports Illustrated poll fool you: LeBron James stinks at baseball.

• Being traded to Cleveland probably isn't much fun post-James, but it's tough to feel too sorry for Omri Casspi these days.

• Weird question (that reveals too much about me) of the week: Do you ever lie while getting a haircut?

• I recently finished re-watching all five seasons of The Wire and even the second time around it was so amazing that I started to get angry with just a handful of episodes remaining. I also came to the realization that my fashion sense is the exact same as Dukie's. I'm not sure what the best way is to convince anyone who hasn't yet watched The Wire to take the plunge, but here's a video of every epigraph from my favorite television drama of all time:

As the great Lester Freamon put it: "All the pieces matter." What a f***ing show.

• In the latest installment of "other media members reacting to  Sid Hartman doing things" an amused Dana Wessel is joined by a delighted Phil Mackey.

• For several reasons Tanguay Ngombo will go down as the most David Kahn draft pick in the history of David Kahn draft picks.

• I e-mailed this link to my mom, who remains the world's biggest Kevin Garnett fan, and she replied: "She might just be a friend and he just forgot his ring on his nightstand."

• Much like the person in this story, whenever a nude, redheaded actress drunkenly knocks on my hotel room door in the wee hours of the morning my immediate reaction is to call security.

• Lindsay Lohan is doing great, as usual.

• David Eckstein isn't even playing, yet he still leads the league in "grit and desire."

• As a big Party Down fan, my hopes are officially up.

• OK, now this whole government shutdown thing is getting serious.

• After watching his various appearance this week I'm in favor of making Louis CK all-time talk show guest, like all-time quarterback. Here's part one of his Jimmy Kimmel Live interview:

His segment on The Daily Show was hilarious too and if you don't laugh at those two videos we probably can't be friends. Also, watch his show on FX.

• This week's reminder that I went to journalism school.

• Cheick Kongo's crazy knockout of Pat Barry at last weekend's UFC event is the equivalent of a baseball team scoring 10 runs with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning to win 10-9.

• Locally trained MMA fighter Brett Rogers couldn't beat Josh Barnett at the Strikeforce event two weekends ago, so instead he beat up his wife.

• On his podcast Joe Rogan repeatedly warned that he likely couldn't pass up the ridiculous money they were offering, so he's back as the host of Fear Factor.

• Before last week my only experience with Brazilian food was gorging myself at a steakhouse, but I'm officially a fan of the cuisine after eating at Samba in Hopkins.

• Recommended podcast of the week: Rob Delaney (the stand-up comic, not the former Twins pitching prospect) was a great guest on "Jordan, Jesse, Go!"

• Last weekend I was at a local baseball tournament where they raffled off a game-used Luis Rivas bat, which longtime AG.com readers will hopefully find as funny as I did. At one point the announcer told the crowd: "There haven't been many sold, so pretty good chance you'd win."

• Another old friend, J.C. Romero, has found a new home with the Nationals ... at Triple-A.

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is Tom Waits growling his original The Wire theme, "Way Down In The Hole":

This week's Link-O-Rama is sponsored by the Minnesota salsa company Curt's Salsa, whose stuff I've enjoyed on several occasions and personally recommend ...

UPDATE: I'll have more later/Monday, but for now ... Justin Morneau is having neck surgery.

• Needless to say I've been doing it for comedic purposes too. Just not intentionally.

• My mom's favorite news of the week/month/year/decade/century.

• Mary-Louise Parker in a uniform, playing baseball. That's all.

• The local media has been rough on Kevin Slowey, but at least he doesn't play in Atlanta.

• I've become a Bruce Springsteen fan relatively recently, but even before learning to really appreciate all the great music Clarence Clemons made I was always a fan of The Big Man for his heroic attempts to woo Robin Quivers. She missed out on the chance to be the sixth wife at his funeral.

• Ryan Dunn also passed away this week, which made me really sad because I'd just watched (and enjoyed) the third Jackass movie and then made me really mad when I read the details of his death. Epic beard, funny guy, unfortunate end.

• Supermodel mom shows up to her kid's school looking like a supermodel, causing a blogger's head to explode.

• For the journalism school graduates out there: 1500-ESPN is looking to hire a beat reporter to cover Gophers sports for their website, which is a great opportunity.

• Last week I wondered why Idris Elba "isn't in everything, ever." This week he replaced Tom Cruise in a Guillermo del Toro-directed movie. Never doubt the power of Link-O-Rama.

• In the span of one year Harris Wittels has gone from leaving Link-O-Rama comments here to writing articles for Grantland. #humblebrag

• This ranks as Megan Fox's worst decision since getting all those tattoos.

• Speaking of bad decisions: Jamey Toney versus Ken Shamrock.

• Sebastian Pruiti from NBA Playbook wrote an incredibly detailed Ricky Rubio scouting report that includes charts, video, and hardcore numbers. Must-read stuff, although I'm still skeptical and the incredible amount of hype is setting him up to disappoint early on.

• By far the highlight of Rubio's introductory press conference was Dana Wessel of 1500-ESPN reacting to Sid Hartman asking a question:

Someone really needs to start a blog devoted exclusively to pictures of other media members reacting to Hartman doing things. If nothing else I'd link to it every week.

• Does anyone know if David Kahn truly made Kurt Rambis write a report before firing him? If so, Rambis ought to add one final chapter and post that sucker online. Kahn isn't much of a general manager, but it takes some special talent to make people feel sorry for a coach who went 32-132. He made the right call picking Derrick Williams, at least.

• Jon Krawczynski of the Associated Press displays the "Kahn is talking again" face.

• Dwane Casey, who never should have been let go by the Timberwolves in the first place, is now the Raptors' new coach. Casey was 20-20 when the Timberwolves fired him--in the middle of a season, no less--and they've gone 90-280 since then.

• Joe Morgan is getting his own radio show just in time to comment on the Moneyball movie.

• Rashida Jones is making a strong push for Official Fantasy Girl of AG.com contender status.

• My latest podcast discovery is "Walking The Room" with Dave Anthony and Greg Behrendt, which is as funny as two guys sitting in a room talking to each other while eating Tim Tams can possibly be and has quickly become a must-listen for me.

• Good news for Mad Men fans, but that seems like an awful lot of money for the 1960s.

• In my mind, this whole mess started with Jim Riggleman asking Mike Rizzo: "Where do you see this relationship going?"

UPDATE: It looks like Riggleman rebounded well enough.

• It seems sort of crazy to me that there are rankings for the best 15-year-old baseball teams in Minnesota, but my uncle is excited because he's coached Hopkins to No. 6 on the same list that has the Scott Leuis-coached Plymouth/Wayzata team at No. 4 and the Anthony LaPanta-coached Totino Grace team at No. 10. If they crack the top five maybe I'll calculate everyone's Wins Above Replacement.

• I ate here twice this week with a total of 15 people and without exception they liked it.

• As someone who recently became slightly less fat, I enjoyed the "Put This On" episode about finding clothes that fit better.

• I'd quit my diet just to eat this ice cream.

• Will manager Ned Yost's friendship with Jeff Foxworthy offset the Royals' young talent?

• I talked Michael Cuddyer, pennant races, and All-Star picks with not one, but two Seidmans.

• I'm addicted to WhatIfSports.com's great Hardball Dynasty game and my league has a pair of franchises open with the new season set to begin next week. Hardball Dynasty is not fantasy baseball and in fact has nothing to do with fantasy baseball. It's much better. From rookie-ball to the majors it's an incredibly detailed simulation of running a fictional MLB organization, with fictional players and everything from the Rule 5 draft to international signings.

Due to the steep learning curve involved in the game and extensive time commitment required to master it we're looking first and foremost for owners with some previous Hardball Dynasty experience. Mostly, though, we're just looking for good owners and despite the sales pitch-like tone of this note I get absolutely nothing in return for someone signing up (except for a better league to enjoy, of course). If you're interested, let me know.

• Finally, in honor of Dunn this week's AG.com-approved music video is the theme song to the Jackass movies, "If You're Gonna Be Dumb" by Roger Alan Wade: