December 31, 2015

Power Rankings: Top 30 Twin Cities Tweeters Of 2015

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Two years ago, in a half-joking response to City Pages publishing a "Top Twin Cities Twitterers" article, I came up with my own rankings. Despite stirring up incredible controversy and ruining many friendships I did it again last year. And now "third annual" makes it sounds like an actual thing, so here we are. Below you'll find my updated rankings for 2015 in which I continue to say "Tweeters" instead of "Twitterers." To anyone not on the list, you were No. 31 and just missed.

(Note: @BJFait was ruled ineligible for this list by virtue of her eyes being too pretty and her hair smelling too good, but following her on Twitter is one of the best decisions I've ever made.)


Neuman Twitter1. @RandBallsStu (Steve Neuman)

The Sportive co-host. Twinkie Town blogger. Good date for Jason Isbell shows. Tried to burn my house down with a Heggies pizza. Unparalleled commitment to bits.


Berry Twitter2. @_omgigi_ (Gigi Berry)

On loan to Georgia temporarily. Baesgiving hostess. Beard whisperer. Knows every local team's win total based on Papa John's discounts. Elite-level emojis and rants.


Wessel Twitter3. @DanaWessel (Dana Wessel)

GO-96.3 morning show co-host. Responsible for nearly every Donkey Kong high score in Minnesota. Has given me multiple pictures of himself as presents.


Petersen Twitter4. @JimPeteHoops (Jim Petersen)

Wolves television analyst. Lynx assistant coach. Brilliantly mixes old-school scouting and new-school stats. Responds to tweets mid-broadcast. Was nice to my mom once.


Krawczynski Twitter5. @APkrawczynski (Jon Krawczynski)

Minnesota's best all-around sportswriter. Smart, funny, plugged-in, even-handed, open-minded, and interacts with readers in a meaningful way. Underrated as hell.


Swamptown Twitter6. @CSwamptown (Clarence Swamptown)

The Sportive co-host. Spectacular forearms. Hates everything and everyone except Kelly Clarkson and Teddy Bridgewater. Straddles the line between insane and genius.


Floyd Twitter7. @mfloyd21 (Melissa Floyd)

World's nicest mean person or meanest nice person. Angelina Jolie of Mom Twitter. Known to make it rain with oatmeal packets. Emett and Olive wrangler. Fixit master.


Floyd Twitter8. @floyding (Zach Floyd)

Last year's No. 1. Hasn't slipped, but his wife threatened me with bodily harm over a repeat because his head got too big. Brad Pitt of Dad Twitter. Shadow recruit.


Hageman Twitter9. @ParkerHageman (Parker Hageman)

My favorite Twins writer when not busy fathering children. Constantly building dreams together and standing strong forever. No Juice co-host. GIF machine.


Manthei Twitter10. @HollyManthei (Holly Manthei)

Notre Dame and World Cup soccer legend. Surly beer hype woman. Hug distributor. Once brought a sleeping bag to a party at my house. Chilaquiles photographer.


Zanatta Twitter11. @Mike_Zanatta (Mike Zanatta)

Minnesota's most underrated tweeter. No one offers a superior combination of sports snark, pop culture humor, and glorious hair. Looks like Ginsberg, tweets like Draper.


Nora Purmort Twitter12. @noraborealis (Nora Purmort)

Still Kickin with incredible strength, grace, and humor in the face of personal tragedy. Mom to the world's cutest toddler. Writer of a new memoir you should pre-order.


Robson Twitter13. @brittrobson (Britt Robson)

Minnesota's best basketball writer. Timberwolves historian. Right about most things and more willing than most to admit when he's wrong. Great accent.


Rand Twitter14. @RandBall (Michael Rand)

Star Tribune digital sports editor, blogger, and silliness ringleader. I've met most of my friends in his backyard. Never played the game. New hair style is out of control.


Niver Twitter15. @tniver (Tim Niver)

St. Paul restaurant mogul. Twitter host with the most. Owner of Strip Club, Saint Dinette, and soon Mucci's. Thrives in the murky waters of late-night Twitter.


Ampersandria Twitter16. @ampersandria (Ampersandria Cochran)

Impossibly quirky and likable. Modern-day Jackie Kennedy, but with more Cheeto dust.


Lambert Twitter17. @MeatSauce1 (Paul Lambert)

KFAN morning show co-host. Never not trolling. Andy Kaufman/Yoenis Cespedes combo.


Brown Twitter18. @ItsTheBrandi (Brandi Brown)

Stand-up comedian. Coder. Tracker of people discovering the origin of Flo Rida's name.


Halter Twitter19. @mspbjHalter (Nick Halter)

Minneapolis/St.Paul Business Journal reporter covering the sports and restaurant beats.


Shortal Twitter20. @janashortal (Jana Shortal)

KARE-11 reporter. Once defeated me in a "crush contest." Justin Bieber stole her look.


Albus Twitter21. @jalbus (Jason Albus)

Photographer to the Twitter stars. Melissa Floyd wrangler. Lived up to the hype.


Jones Twitter22. @bianca101 (Bianca Jones)

Powerful name, huge smile, tiny human. Constantly amazed at things I've never done.


Brauer Twitter23. @dbrauer (David Brauer)

Minnesota's top caller of media-related bullshit. My go-to sounding board for grievances.


Guentzel Twitter24. @LindsayGuentzel (Lindsay Guentzel)

WCCO radio. One of only five humans my cat isn't afraid of. Cheats at staring contests.


Rupar Twitter25. @atrupar (Aaron Rupar)

Ex-journalist now in politics. Drummer. Fellow cat guy/beardo/Timberwolves masochist.


Welle Twitter26. @LizWelle (Liz Welle)

Paul Allen's favorite tweeter. Wore a beard of coffee grounds to be Drake for Halloween.


Matteson Twitter27. @solace (Kyle Matteson)

Just ceased being a frog. Lives, breathes music. Has an answer to almost any question.


White Twitter28. @amanduhwhite (Amanda White)

Real life is her live album. Twitter is her studio album. Randall Cobb fan club president.


Hummel Twitter29. @TweetsByCollin (Collin Hummel)

Way too good-looking to be this weird and into cats, but Twitter is (mostly) better for it.


Bonnes Twitter30. @TwinsGeek (John Bonnes)

Has wasted more than 500 hours of my life recording our arguments about the Twins.


If you read this whole thing and still won't follow @AaronGleeman on Twitter you're a monster.

April 17, 2015

Link-O-Rama

"Gleeman and The Geek" is officially back on the radio, starting our fourth season on KFAN this Sunday at 4:00 pm. As always you can listen live on 100.3-FM and KFAN.com streaming audio or you can continue to listen to the show as a podcast via however you've been doing that already. We broadcast an hour live on the radio and then record another hour afterward in a side studio without any commercials, gluing the two pieces together for the final podcast product.

Rob Neyer of FOXSports.com wrote about my NBCSports.com blog-mate Craig Calcaterra and the criticism that comes with criticizing other writers.

• A national security expert wrote in the Washington Post that MLB forcing fans at every ballpark to go through metal detectors is "pure security theater" and "laughable."

Dana Wessel told the cute story of how he unexpectedly met his idol.

• I need two new owners my "Hardball Dynasty" league on WhatIfSports. Click here for details.

• You can't wear a spiked leather wristband and not expect people to mock it. Well, you can. But then it'll be even funnier.

• There's a vacant lot next to Calhoun Square and this summer Prime Time Wrestling "is planning five free outdoor shows" where "attendees just need to bring their own lawn chairs."

• I put together a guide to where the Twins' top 40 prospects are playing in the minors.

• If you like Boston Terriers, junk food, or dating you'll love this as much as I did:

The lesson to be learned is that meatballs are great.

• On a related note: This is a perfect representation of what life is like with a cat.

• Coincidentally the Cubs called up No. 1 prospect Kris Bryant on the same day his service time had been delayed long enough to push back his eventual free agency by an extra year.

Bryce Harper is still the youngest player in the National League.

• Grantland's oral history of the Orland Magic's non-dynasty was really good and included this what-if scenario from Shaquille O'Neal's agent about the Wolves winning the 1992 lottery:

Shaq was never adamant about going to L.A. or any big market. He went to LSU, so it wasn't like he was saying, "I need to go to some big market." Our strategy wasn't to force anybody to go anywhere. Maybe if he was picked by Minnesota he might have said, "I don’t want to go there."

Instead the Wolves picked third, missing out on both O'Neal and Alonzo Mourning.

Flip Saunders will surely disagree, but three-point shooting and playoff teams go hand in hand.

• It was another awful Wolves season, but television analyst Jim Petersen provided an ideal mix of passion, opinion, criticism, knowledge, and analytics. He's proof stats on TV can work.

• In the rare instances when the Twins talk publicly about their use of "statistical analysis" it comes across as rudimentary.

• Twins president Dave St. Peter took some shots at me during a Q&A session at the Minneapolis Star Tribune's new building and in doing so coined the phrase "Gleeman disciple."

• Seinfeld plus Limp Bizkit amused me way more than it should have:

The internet is an amazing place.

• As a Food Network viewer and Deadspin reader Drew Magary's appearance on "Chopped" was magical from start to finish.

• The photos from my podcast co-host John Bonnes' trip to Las Vegas are fascinating and scary.

• Congrats to Stu Neuman, Jon Marthaler, Brandon Broxey, and Clarence Swamptown on "The Sportive" winning the City Pages award for "2015 Best Sports Podcast."

• Restaurant recommendation: The Strip Club is a cozy gem in St. Paul. Tim Niver and Christy Niver treated us like family, every dish was fantastic, and I'm still thinking about the pork belly.

• Netflix recommendation: "Bloodline" is a slow burn, but Kyle Chandler, Linda Cardellini, and Ben Mendelsohn are all great and I enjoyed the 13-episode first season.

Jason Isbell has a new album coming out in July. His last album was amazing, as were the two lives shows in Minnesota that I went to.

• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:

- "How did Aaron Gleeman die?"
- "Kid trips over man"
- "Spoon and Stable what to order"
- "How hard did Bert Blyleven throw?"
- "Heaviest center fielders"
- "Paul Molitor shirtless"

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "See You Again" by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth:


This week's blog content is sponsored by Uber, which is offering a free ride to first-time users who sign up with the promo code "UberGleeman."