AaronGleeman.com

• It's no surprise that "the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be" also has the best family photo of all time.

• At a gymnastics meet Saturday a 60-year-old St. Thomas math professor punched a person wearing the Goldy Gopher mascot outfit and I'm having a hard time choosing who to side with in the story. Incidentally, my cousin once punched Mickey Mouse in the face while eating dinner at Epcot Center and 20 years later I still consider the moment one of the highlights of my life.

• Jack Dickey recapping the Sloan Sports Analytics Conference is a must-read, if only for the analogy comparing Malcolm Gladwell to Delmon Young.

• Doesn't she know that dropouts never amount to anything?

• Felicia Pearson, who played Snoop on The Wire, is among 63 people arrested in a Baltimore drug raid. David Simon chimed in regarding the incident, which probably doesn't qualify as "life imitating art" considering that Pearson's character on the show already imitated her actual life. "How my hair look, Mike?"

• Tim McCarver will be calling games on FOX through at least 2013. I'm going to need a new mute button by then.

• Ozzie Guillen quote of the week: "I'm the Charlie Sheen of baseball, but without drugs and a prostitute."

• For someone who grew up playing video games and marveling at the Chicago Bulls this video is just about perfect:

Whoever put that together and spliced in the old audio clips is a genius. Seriously.

• J.C. Romero drove his Porsche Panamera from his offseason home in Alabama to the Phillies' spring training complex in Florida. And then someone stole it.

• I'm proud to say that three different people e-mailed me this link, which is a testament to my consistent perviness and the AG.com readers' continued support of said perviness.

• Some people may see an awful lot of tattoos, but I see an awful lot of teeth.

• I'm seeking recommendations for the best baseball writers who extensively cover prospects across MLB, rather than a team-specific focus, and also aren't affiliated with a prominent site already. Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments section or e-mail them to me.

• Everyone has been spelling Kendry Morales' name wrong since 2004.

• Kelly Oxford is one of my favorite non-baseball people to follow on Twitter and now she has television and book deals based on her great tweets.

• In case you missed this public service announcement earlier in the week: LaVelle E. Neal III would like everyone to stop confusing him with Al Newman.

• This is obviously very sad, but how long should I wait to inquire about the job opening?

• Mike Pelfrey learned the hard way that you never assume a woman is pregnant.

• As part of the Minneapolis Jewish Film Festival there's a screening of "Jews and Baseball: An American Love Story" on March 30 at the Mall of America. Here's a trailer for the film:

Howard Sinker of the Minneapolis Star Tribune is introducing the film at MoA, Dustin Hoffman is the movie's narrator, and there are interviews with everyone from Sandy Koufax and Kevin Youkilis to Ron Howard and Larry King. Recommended for members of the tribe and goyim.

• Last week Howard Stern, who lives in New York, appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live, which is in Los Angeles. And instead of the usual satellite setup, they green-screened him into the chair.

• On a related note, Jimmy Kimmel's ex-girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, had a great appearance on Stern's show yesterday.

• Andy Dick's appearance on Joe Rogan's podcast was pretty great too.

• My uncle and cousin are both available for scouting jobs.

• Rotoworld's annual fantasy baseball draft guide is now available online. I'm "editor-in-chief" and it's a big part of my job, so I'd be grateful if AG.com readers checked it out. You get 1,000 player profiles and projections, a couple dozen strategy articles, customizable cheat sheets, and a whole bunch of other good stuff that adds up to 150,000-plus words of content updated all spring. Buy it, so I don't have to move back to the proverbial parents' basement.

• I'm still loving Netlix streaming. Some recent documentary recommendations: The September Issue, The Parking Lot Movie, Eternal Enemies: Lions and Hyenas, The Wild and Wonderful Whites, Gonzo, Rolling Stones: Stones in Exile.

• Here are some highlights from my NBCSports.com blogging this week:

- Chase Utley's status for Opening Day in doubt due to on knee injury
- Someone should tell Nyjer Morgan to stop trying to steal bases
- Coco Crisp was being followed by "secret service" at time of DUI arrest
- Domonic Brown set for surgery tomorrow; out 4-6 weeks
- Jake Peavy throwing well and aiming "to break camp with the team"
- Charlie Manuel close to two-year extension with Phillies
- Adam Dunn should visit Baseball-Reference.com some time
- Ryan Madson hopes to stay with the Phillies, but wants to be a closer
- For some reason the Royals want Billy Butler stealing bases

• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is Mark Schottinger performing "Black and White" from the aforementioned The Parking Lot Movie: