Topics for this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode included me giving John Bonnes a tour of my new place in Uptown, Matt Garza turning down the Twins' offer, Pedro Florimon's grasp on the shortstop job, when not to use someone's bathroom, Liam Hendriks' waiver wire tour, working from coffee shops, Josh Willingham's future, mailbag questions, hanging out at Bar Abilene with Meatsauce, speed dating, marriage analysis, and the joys of parking.
• Brunch spot recommendation: Meritage in St. Paul. Expensive, but well worth it.
• I used Local Motion to move me from Minnetonka to Uptown and couldn't have been happier with the whole experience. Professional, friendly, and efficient.
• Some of this week's weird and random search engine queries that brought people here:
- "Parker Hageman second chance"
- "Kat Dennings porn lookalike"
- "Robin Wright porn lookalike"
- "Chelsea Peretti porn lookalike"
- "1982 Minnesota Twins roster"
- "Elisha Cuthbert podcast"
- "Aaron Gleeman top tweeters"
- "Who is John Sharkman?"
- "No cake, no pizza, no Chinese food"
- "How much does a Twins player get paid?"
• Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is "Can't Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West:
Topics for this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode included pitchers and catchers (finally) reporting to spring training, me (finally) moving to Uptown, the Twins claiming Brooks Raley off waivers, John Bonnes meeting my mom, players being in the best shape of their lives, Derek Jeter's farewell tour, what's really important for the Twins in 2014, A.J. Burnett's change of plans, hanging out at Rye Deli, mailbag questions, Meatsauce's love story, and when to kiss.
Finally, a few minutes before 4 p.m., the curtains lift and Chapman descends the spiral staircase to the pool deck. He wears sandals, sunglasses and a tank top obscured by heavy gold chains. He lights a Marlboro Red cigarette and flops down onto an all-weather mattress near the pool.
"Why so late like this?" Maria Caridad asks. "Why all this sleeping?"
"There's nothing else to do," he says.
I'm another 40 miles per hour on my fastball away from being Chapman, basically.
Topics for this week's "Gleeman and The Geek" episode included potential spring training position battles, Miguel Sano's timetable, late-signing free agent pitching, new theme songs from New Zealand, bar crawls, Terry Ryan's cancer diagnosis, mailbag questions from listeners, choosing an Olympic sport to pair up in, Taylor Callais' resume, slumming it on other podcasts, appreciating Justin Timberlake, and how to stupidly avoid moving at all costs.