August 2, 2002


I just turned on my TV to watch the Twins game, as I always do, and I saw something that made me want to throw up.

Yes, that's right, the Kansas City Royals' lineup.

With Mike Sweeney on DL and Allard Baird as their GM, the Royals are really at an offensive disadvantage.

Here is the Murderer's Row:

1) Chuck Knoblauch, LF - .196/.271/.275 (AVG/OBP/SLG)

2) Luis Alicea, 3B - .228/.313/.280

3) Carlos Beltran, CF - .271/.341/.502

4) Raul Ibanez, 1B - .276/.330/.539

5) Joe Randa, DH - .272/.343/.449

6) Michael Tucker, RF - .237/.325/.400

7) Neifi Perez, SS - .230/.254/.298

8) Brent Mayne, C - .238/.324/.291

9) Carlos Febles, 2B - .224/.324/.328

They have the same amount of guys slugging under .300 as they do guys slugging at least .400.

They only have 3 players whom you could consider even reasonably productive (Beltran, Ibanez and Randa).

The highest on-base percentage in the entire lineup is .343.

They have 6 players hitting under .240.

But I know you are saying, "Hey Aaron, they may be horrible, but at least they aren't cheap!"

Well, you do have a point there:

Knoblauch $2.0 mill

Alicea $0.8 mill

Beltran $3.5 mill

Ibanez $0.8 mill

Randa $4.0 mill

Tucker $2.3 mill

Perez $4.1 mill

Mayne $2.5 mill

Febles $0.8 mill

TOTAL = $20,800,000

No wonder they can't afford to keep Damon and Dye, they have to pay Chuck Knoblauch and Neifi Perez to hit .220.

Now that I have pointed this out, they will probably score about 1,000 runs tonight, but geez Allard get a clue!

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