December 18, 2003
Announcements (Vegas Baby!)
When I was a kid, I went to summer camp for two whole summers. Everyone at the camp would eat meals together in a big cafeteria and occasionally someone would go up to the front of the room, where there was a little stage and a microphone, and make an announcement. The only problem was that they couldn't actually say it was an "announcement." If you said that word, you would be grabbed off the stage, dragged to the nearest body of water, and thrown in.
It happened quite often. Some poor, soon to be drenched soul would step up to the mic and "announcement" would inevitably find its way out of their mouth.
When it did, everyone in the entire cafeteria would, in unison, sing the following to the tune of...well, I don't know what, but it was in song form:
ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS! THROW EM IN THE LAKE! THROW EM IN THE LAKE!
A group of people would then grab the person, pick them up, carry them off stage and out of the cafeteria, down to the lake, and then throw them in. Occasionally, after being thrown into the lake, the person would walk back to the cafeteria, get back up on stage, and proceed to finish their "bulletin."
I've even witnessed someone say announcement, be dragged off stage and thrown into a lake, get back up on stage soaking wet, and then accidentally say announcement again. The entire process repeats, no matter how fast you run, trust me.
Anyway, at the risk of being thrown into a lake, I do have an announcement...
Yours Truly, the boy blogger extraordinaire, turns 21 years old on January 3rd. To celebrate, I am heading to Las Vegas for a week of gambling, drinking and all sorts of other various forms of debauchery.
I make this announcement for two reasons:
1) I want to assure everyone that, in my place, there is a star-studded group of "Guest Columnists" lined up. Seriously, some big names. You'll enjoy them so much you may never want to hear from me again.
The guests will start on January 5th (Monday) and run until January 9th (Friday). Then, assuming I don't get arrested for anything serious or get married or something, I'll be back from Vegas on Monday the 12th, with a full report on my trip. I have a digital camera now, so it may even include pictures (hide the women and children!).
2) Despite a much smaller following at this time last year (as shown yesterday, traffic is up about 400% compared to last December), many of you who were around back then expressed an interest in buying me a birthday/Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza present.
I was extraordinarily flattered back then and I remain open to the idea of strangers giving me things because they enjoy my writing. Last year I set up a "wish list" on Amazon.com and several people purchased items from it for me, for which I was incredibly grateful.
This year, since there is still some time before I leave for Vegas, I figured the best present I could get is cold, hard cash. What better present can you give a 21-year old birthday boy than money to fund his gambling and drinking?
So, if you want to make a little donation for my birthday, for Christmas, for Hanukkah, for Kwanzaa, for New Year's, for my trip to Las Vegas, or just because you realized yesterday that you have way too much money, here is what you do...
Click on the above link. It'll take you to a secure PayPal website, where you can make a quick and easy donation for however much you want.
Think of it as an investment in the future. The more money I have to bring to Las Vegas, the more I can gamble. The more I can gamble, the more I can win. The more I win, the less I have to work. The less I have to work, the more time I have to spend on this blog. It's a win-win situation for all involved!
*****Comments? Questions? Email me!*****