May 18, 2004

What a punim!

It's been way too serious here at Aaron's Baseball Blog so far this week, so let's step away from all that and have a little fun.

Here's an e-mail I got over the weekend...

From Scott:

Hey, what's the deal with the two pictures of Johan Santana you have on your blog? He looks slimmer and healthier in one, but bloated and a little overweight in the other. Is the bigger Santana this year's version? If so, should we think that he's not in as good of shape this season or what? Just curious if you knew the deal.

The pictures Scott is referring to are the ones on the left-hand side of this page, under the heading "Guys I Talk About A Lot."

Here are the two pictures in question:

Twins fans will no doubt recognize that those two pictures are not both of Johan Santana.

The one on the left, with the straight Twins hat, heavier goatee and skinnier face, is of Santana, The Official Pitcher Of Aaron's Baseball Blog.

The one on the right, with the tilted hat, lighter goatee and bloated face, is of Luis Rivas, perhaps the most hated man in Aaron's Baseball Blog history.

This is not the first time that the irony of this -- that the player I like the most and the player I hate the most look nearly like twins (judge for yourself whether this pun was intended or not, I'm sick of being told) -- has come to my attention. It's also not the first e-mail I have received asking something about why there are two pictures or Rivas or two pictures of Santana.

I found this particular e-mail amusing, because it is basically just saying Rivas looks like a fatter, bloated, less-healthy version of Santana.

Oh, and for the record, despite his bloated appearance, I don't think Rivas' physique is a reason for his horrendous play over the last several seasons. Or, if it is, it's about 100th on the list.

As long as we're talking lookalikes (and bloated faces), here's another for you...

I defy you to look at those two pictures and see anything less than identical twins. Astute football fans will recognize the man on the left as football writer Len Pasquarelli. Astute TV watchers will recognize the man on the right as one of the greatest characters in modern television history. Yes, that's right, Uncle Don Vito from Viva La Bam on MTV.

Not only do I think Don Vito needs his own spin-off show, I am of the opinion that a 24-hour-a-day Don Vito channel ("Vito TV") would be a national phenomenon.

Now, these next guys aren't lookalikes, but their pictures are notable for one reason or another...

I'm a fan of strange facial hair (as anyone who has seen me on a Monday morning can attest to), but Doug Davis' look has got to take an awful lot of maintenance. That thing he's got going on his chin could almost pass for a gang-sign. [In my best Ice Cube voice] WESTSIDE!

Dustin Hermanson has long been a fan of strange and intricate facial hair, but he's actually toned it down over the years.

The funny thing is, back when Hermanson was just another pitcher trying to make the big leagues, he was completely devoid of any and all facial hair.

The above picture is of Hermanson's days at Kent State, back when he owned a razor. Actually, I take that back, from the looks of Hermanson's various facial stylings over the years, it's clear he owns a razor. Probably a high-tech one too.

Here's a picture of Doug Davis' Milwaukee teammate, the hot-hitting Lyle Overbay.

Now, there are those who might say that's not a great picture, and I would tend to agree. However, it is about one thousand percent better than the shot Overbay took last year.

Simply put, that's not pretty. And I say that in the nicest way, as someone who has taken plenty of godawul pictures in his lifetime.

Now, let's see how many angry e-mails I get about this entry!

Today's picks:

Philadelphia (Milton) -145 over Los Angeles (Nomo)

Houston (Redding) +120 over Florida (Pavano)

Arizona (Webb) -105 over Atlanta (Thomson)

Cincinnati (Acevedo) -135 over Colorado (Jennings)

Chicago (Schoeneweis) -100 over Cleveland (Davis)

Baltimore (Bedard) +125 over Seattle (Franklin)

Total to date: -$955

W/L record: 45-62 (2-3 yesterday for -165.)

*****Comments? Questions? Email me!*****

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