November 16, 2004

Like Honey to a Bee

I am a little ashamed to admit this, but I've always been honest on this blog, so here goes ... I watched Honey on Sunday night. Not the whole thing obviously, since I'm pretty sure that's a physical impossibility, but I stuck with it for a good 15 minutes before my brain finally forced my hand to change the channel.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Honey, it is essentially a 94-minute movie about Jessica Alba's stomach, or at least that's what I got out of my time watching it. And judging from the movie poster, that's what it was (brilliantly) marketed as too.

According to the fabulous movie website, the tag-team of Alonzo Brown and Kim Watson are credited with writing the script for Honey, which immediately makes one wonder about the writing process. I have a theory that each page in the script started with something to do with Alba's midsection, and then they just sort of filled in the rest with whatever they could think of in the way of cheesy dialogue and cliched characters.

I also found the following gems on Honey's page ...

Tagline: Her dream. Her terms.

Plot Outline: Honey (Alba) is a sexy, tough music video choreographer who shakes up her life after her mentor gives her an ultimatum: sleep with him or be blacklisted within their industry.

User Comments: Jessica Alba's glistening abs cannot save this labored, painfully made dance drama.

I beg to differ, of course, at least for 15 minutes. Never, ever underestimate the power of Jessica Alba's glistening abs.

Other Stuff ...

  • You'll all be happy to learn that I have managed to avoid getting behind on my e-mails for exactly one day. Amazing, I know.
  • Yes, that play last night from Donovan McNabb where he ran around like a chicken with its head cut off for what seem like forever (14.1 seconds from snap to throw, to be exact) was incredibly impressive, but it must also be noted that it's nothing I haven't seen before as a veteran Madden video game player. He's got a long way to go before he can top the scrambling abilities of video game Michael Vick, who has been known to run out large portions of entire quarters while trying to find an open receiver.
  • Jon Weisman has a phenomenal column about the fleeting nature of baseball blogging entitled "The Disposable Baseball Blogger" up over at Dodger Thoughts.

    Jon covers a lot of things I've thought about over the past couple years, only he does it far better than I ever could, and then also gets people like Baseball Musings' David Pinto, Futility Infielder's Jay Jaffe, Baseball Prospectus' Jonah Keri, and the recently-retired-from-blogging Brian Gunn, to throw in their two cents. Just an excellent read all around, something that got me thinking, and a definite must-read for anyone interested in the blogging game.

  • Remember how I said Omar Vizquel would be a perfect one-year solution at shortstop for the Twins, replacing Cristian Guzman and allowing the team to bide its time before handing the keys over to prospect Jason Bartlett? Well, turns out I may have underestimated the market for Vizquel's services just a little bit, as he signed a three-year contract worth $12.25 million with the Giants. And yes, you read that right. So much for that idea.
  • Today at The Hardball Times:

    - Vizquel to the Giants (by Aaron Gleeman)

    - Rivals in Exile: The Hot Stove (by Ben Jacobs and Larry Mahnken)

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