November 4, 2005


  • Here are a few more quotes related to last weekend's Fred Smoot-Steve Smith matchup, just because I'm not tired of mocking Smoot yet. First, from Charlotte Observer beat writer Pat Yasinskas:

    For an encore, is Smoot going to take out Steve Smith's garbage, wash his car and bring his slippers today?

    Second, from Carolina cornerback Ken Lucas:

    I think one of the first things Smoot did wrong was he talked a little bit too much before the game even started. The best thing to do is be quiet, just in case you have a game like he did. He brought it upon himself.

    Next, from Smith himself (who apparently stopped gaining yards long enough to speak to reporters):

    Sometimes you don't pick a fight with a bigger bully.

    And finally, from Vikings coach Mike Tice (who is apparently saving most of his words for a coming resignation speech):

    Fred didn't win that matchup today.

    Smoot had "no comment," which is sort of funny in the same way a bird flying into a window is.

  • ran a "Twins Report" last week that included the following ridiculous quote:

    2B/SS Nick Punto, who is well-regarded and thought to be an offensive force if he can stay healthy enough to remain in the lineup daily, should get another chance in 2006 to earn a starting job but likely will open the season as the team's top utility infielder.

    Seriously, how does someone in charge of covering the Twins write that, and more importantly how does it end up published on a huge site? Really, Nick Punto "is well-regarded and thought to be an offensive force"? It would be difficult to write something less accurate than that if you tried.

  • Behold! The most accurate sign in the history of signs.
  • Radar magazine has an interesting glimpse into the life of one of my least-favorite people, Star Jones. My favorite part? "Oh, we don't want her to strip. Please, no."
  • A couple of e-mailers thought my calling Michael Olowokandi "a dog" in yesterday's entry was too harsh (I also said that "he should have to wear a collar and have a micro-chip implanted in his neck for tracking in case he ever gets lost"). Turns out, people within the actual NBA disagree with me, and instead call Olowokandi a cat (sort of).
  • The Asian version of Time Magazine has a profile of Yankees outfielder Hideki Matsui that includes the following:

    His only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos. His refreshing ability to laugh self-deprecatingly about his porno collection, reporters say, is one reason why fans and even nonfans have taken to him so much.


    He likes to watch his much vaunted porno collection, tapes that he often trades with Japanese reporters. As one Japanese journalist put it, describing Matsui's affinity for such unique Japanese cultural institutions like the no-panties shabu-shabu in Japan, "Matsui is a horny guy. All of us are horny, more or less. But Matsui doesn't attempt to hide the fact." Yet another win for the Japanese Everyman.

    Now try to imagine a) something like that being written about an American player, and b) it being spun in such a positive way. The whole piece is a must-read, and not just because it includes the line "when he bent over to pick up the soap."

  • It sometimes seems like half of the articles on's Page 2 are devoted to accusations of racism in sports. This week? Scoop Jackson says Phil Jackson is a racist and Jason Whitlock says the University of Notre Dame is racist. I'm not saying the opinions (or those often expressed by the late Ralph Wiley) are completely without merit, but at what point do black sports columnists accusing seemingly everyone of racism actually become racism in itself?
  • I typically enjoy Bill Simmons' baseball columns about as much as someone would probably enjoy my 90210 columns, but I actually thought his piece on Theo Epstein's resignation was well done.
  • The Week in Waffle Crappers:

    * Jessica Alba gets more perfect with each passing day.

    * Christina Aguilera had the best, least original Halloween costume ever.

    * Mariah Carey is apparently about as big a fan of bras as I am of her music.

    * After much thought, I've decided that Rachel Bilson is Alex Rodriguez to Mischa Barton's Derek Jeter. Or something like that ... I just wanted to make a baseball reference as an excuse to link to these pictures. (By the way, I'm proud to say I haven't seen a single episode of the The OC since the middle of the first season.)

  • I posted a little note here last Friday about Marion Barber III rushing for 95 yards in his first NFL start, and several people in the comments section ripped both me and Barber because he fumbled twice (but didn't lose either). Well, he rushed for 127 yards and two touchdowns in his second NFL start, and didn't fumble. So there.
  • As someone who attended the University of Minnesota as recently as six months ago, allow me to say that any person without some sort of learning disability who can't get passing grades there when it impacts their ability to play college basketball is a f*** up of epic proportions.
  • Friend of Mike Kurylo (aka the KnickerBlogger) has started up a great new site called Courtside Times. Despite the name it is actually not affiliated with The Hardball Times, but it does feature similar, sabermetric-style writing, except for basketball. The site just launched last week, but it is already established as one of my daily reads.
  • And finally, here are the weekly collection of links to my Football Daily Dose columns on Tuesday ... Wednesday ... Thursday.
  • Today at The Hardball Times:
    - Goodbye to the Architect (by David Gassko)

    Today's Picks (132-112, +$2,065):
    Utah +7.5 (-110) over Golden State

    Saturday's Picks:
    Michigan State -4.5 (-110) over Purdue

    Sunday's Picks:
    Chicago -3 (-110) over New Orleans

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