Not only does Michael Silver's column about the NFL scouting combine over at Yahoo! Sports open with an amusing story about public urination, it also includes this quote: "If you saw him in a pair of underwear, it was just disgusting. He was so soft."
(Warning: Do not--seriously, DO NOT--read the rest of this note if you haven't seen the latest episode of The Wire yet. If you continue reading, I don't want to hear any complaints. It's your own damn fault.)
"A pioneer for black homosexual stickup men" was actually what I was hoping to have etched on my tombstone, but perhaps it's slightly more fitting for someone else.
You wouldn't know it by looking at the video artwork shown below, but this week's NBCSports.com "Fantasy Fix" show features me talking with Tiffany Simons about what sort of impact some of the top prospects figure to make as rookies this season:
Eva Longoria is unfortunately only tangentially involved because we briefly discussed the fact that her name is so close to top third-base prospect Evan Longoria, but producer Matt Casey smartly realized that focusing on her is a clever way to generate viewers for a video that features a) my ugly mug flashing across the screen, and b) Simons hosting instead of Gregg "Eye Candy" Rosenthal.
Speaking of Gregg, in discussing the recently completed and hugely disappointing Troy Williamson era, he notes that Williamson "never caught more than three passes in a game" during three seasons in Minnesota. Unfortunately for the cement-handed wide receiver who the Vikings selected with the seventh overall pick in the 2005 draft that they received from the Raiders in exchange for Randy Moss, he probably dropped three passes in a game on several occasions.
Speaking of MinnPost.com, they recently ran an article about Minnesota's lack of pre-caucus polling from one of my idols, Chris Ison. In addition to being a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and all-around great guy, Ison is usually a good guess as the source whenever I begin a sentence with "one of my journalism-school professors used to say." Actually, seeing how passionate Ison was about news and reporting helped convince me that I'd be better off writing about Nick Punto and Jessica Alba from bed.
If you're looking for some baseball-related material for use in your next nightmare, click here.
I uncharacteristically forgot to mention this prior to my debut appearance last weekend, but I'll be on WPGB radio in Pittsburgh to talk baseball with Rocco DeMaro each Saturday afternoon. I'm not sure how many AG.com readers there are in the Pittsburgh area, but you can also listen to the show on the station's website. I'm gradually attempting to get past my phobia of call-in radio interviews and may soon have some relatively big news to report regarding more in-studio appearances locally.
Over at ESPN.com, Jonah Keri's interview with Diamondbacks general manager Josh Byrnes is a perfect mix of smart, in-depth questions and thoughtful, interesting answers. Byrnes is still flying under the radar while GMs like Billy Beane and Theo Epstein deservedly get tons of hype, but fans in Arizona should feel extremely confident about the guy running things.
Earlier this week I picked on the local media for their non-stop coverage of Denard Span's quest to become the Twins' center fielder, noting that everyone is willing to quote his proclamations about being "ready for the job" and no one is willing to point out how ill-equipped he'd be to handle it. Official Twins Beat Writer of AG.com LaVelle E. Neal IIIproved my point further yesterday by wasting even more ink on Span being "as confident as anyone in his desire to win the job," as if that's at all meaningful.
Johan Santana joining the Mets will make it tough for the Phillies to repeat as NL East champions, but at the very least they figure to lead the league in wife nudity.
Now that baseball has officially started up again, I just wanted to thank everyone for continuing to stop by here throughout the too-long offseason. This blog's traffic is amazingly at an all-time high, as AG.com topped 100,000 visitors in each of the past four months despite zero actual baseball games to discuss, and depending on how many people show up here today the site's readership in February will be up nearly 50 percent compared to the same month last year.
Finally, this week's AG.com-approved music video is Nas and Will.i.am getting together for a live version of "Hip Hop Is Dead":