August 14, 2008


  • Having discussed this disturbing news with a fellow member of the tribe last night, we decided that there should be some sort of vote on whether or not to let her in, like when a condo board decides on a new resident or something. And if we can't do that, then we should at least be able to trade one of our undesirables to whichever religion she came from, like a prisoner exchange program. A Pauly Shore-for-Lindsay Lohan swap seems fair for everyone involved, like two teams trading bad contracts.
  • I'm disappointed to report that my many Keeley Hazell scouts have now failed to send links related to the Official Fantasy Girl of in back-to-back weeks. C'mon people! Fortunately, runner-up Marisa Miller continues to go out in public looking like this, so at least a little bit of Link-O-Rama's dignity has been salvaged.
  • Speaking of tribe members and Miller, there's this story about Brewers slugger Ryan Braun:

    On a sun-dappled Friday on the baseball field behind Brookfield East High School, Braun took on what even he admitted beforehand might be a more daunting task: trading lines with supermodel and magazine cover girl Marisa Miller in a viral video for a new Remington men's hair-care product.


    Under nearly perfect conditions, the shooting of the video went well. The story line involves a softball tournament. When a loose ball got to the fence, it was Miller, in a pink top, black shorts and black tennis shoes, chasing it down. Waiting in the outfield with ball in hand was Braun, dressed in an Affliction T-shirt and designer jeans, with his dog.

    "Shouldn't you be in a bikini on a beach?" Braun asks Miller.

    "Shouldn't you be signing some kid's ball?" Miller responds.

    Rather than make some sort of snide comment, here's a photo from the commercial shoot:

    Cute dog. Also, there's this one:

    Mazel tov.

  • I'll have more on this news Monday, but thankfully the Mariners don't know what they're doing.
  • LeBron James has really been enjoying the sights at the Olympics.
  • This story from The Onion hits a little too close to home: "Local Idiot To Post Comment On Internet."

    HAZEL PARK, MI--In a statement made to reporters earlier this afternoon, local idiot Brandon Mylenek, 26, announced that at approximately 2:30 a.m. tonight, he plans to post an idiotic comment beneath a video on an Internet website.

    "Later this evening, I intend to watch the video in question, click the 'reply' link above the box reserved for user comments, and draft a response, being careful to put as little thought into it as possible, while making sure to use all capital letters and incorrect punctuation," Mylenek said. "Although I do not yet know exactly what my comment will entail, I can say with a great degree of certainty that it will be incredibly stupid."

    Mylenek, who rarely in his life has been capable of formulating an idea or opinion worth the amount of oxygen required to express it, went on to guarantee that the text of his comment would be misspelled to the point of incomprehension, that it would defy the laws of both logic and grammar ... "The result will be an astonishing combination of ignorance, offensiveness, and sheer idiocy," Mylenek said.

    Not mentioned in the above excerpt is that Brandon Mylenek believes the Twins should trade Brian Bass and Adam Everett for Albert Pujols, and thinks "this blog used to be good, but now it sucks."

  • While in Minnesota for last weekend's show at the Target Center, UFC president Dana White posted daily video blogs basically chronicling his every move. Most of the footage involved stuff like attending press events, walking around the arena, going to dinner with Rampage Jackson, and hugging Laura Prepon, but if you look closely around the 4:15 mark of the video for August 8 you can see a blast from the Twins' past:

    "Tell them who that is. That's Marty Cordova, 1995 American League Rookie of the Year. Woo hoo!"
  • For anyone who's been wondering what it might look like to watch Baseball Prospectus managing partner Nate Silver talk politics with Keith Olbermann ... well, it's your lucky day.
  • Thanks to Dan Steinberg's recent interview with Craig Sager, we now know far too much about the man who wears ridiculous suits (and apparently matching thong underwear) on TNT.
  • A new site to check out: Sports on a Stick, which creator Ben Malmo described to me as The Onion for Minnesota sports.
  • Having let guinea pig Gregg Rosenthal test out the technology over at Rotoworld, I'm thinking about hosting a "live chat" here using this thing. As Bob Ryan (the fictitious, played-by-Martin Landau version, not the real, Boston Globe columnist version) would ask: Is that something you might be interested in?
  • In what was a pretty decent precursor to my becoming a college dropout five years later, I skipped a day of school to go see The Original Kings of Comedy stand-up concert at the Mall of America movie theater way back in 2000. As the lone white, truant 17-year-old at an afternoon showing the experience was an interesting one to say the least and my memory of the afternoon involves laughing hysterically at the following (completely not-safe-for-work) Bernie Mac bit about his family:

    Sadly, Mac died over the weekend at the age of 50. For an interesting look at Mac's life, check out Alan Sepinwall's well-done 2002 article about him in the Newark Star-Ledger.
  • Prior to re-starting a weight-loss program last week, my diet was eerily similar to Michael Phelps'. If you're curious, I'm down 14.5 pounds in 11 days as of Thursday's weigh-in. So far, so good. A few deck chairs have been thrown from the Titanic.
  • Assuming that I'm not bumped again for a far more interesting and famous guest, you can hear my weekly appearance on KFAN radio this morning at around eight o'clock. To listen online, click here.
  • If for some highly unlikely reason the KFAN segment doesn't provide your fill of me in a non-writing medium, you can tune into FOX's website Monday afternoon around three o'clock to watch my bi-weekly appearance on "Sports on Demand" with Jim Rich and Seth Kaplan. My goal for Monday's taping is to arrive at the studio on time and avoid getting a $128 ticket on the way there.
  • My ticket-inspired call for GPS recommendations a few weeks ago pretty much confirmed that going with Garmin is the right choice, so I'm giving serious thought to picking up this version at Costco. Any last-minute advice to the contrary? Speak now or forever hold your peace.
  • Finally, this week's music video is Ernie Halter doing a live, "is someone smoking herb in here or is it just me?" version of "Whisper":

  • Once you're done here, check out my latest "Daily Dose" column over at Rotoworld.

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