May 28, 2010


Zach Randolph makes just $17 million a year playing basketball, so naturally he supplements his income with a second job as a "a major marijuana supplier in Indianapolis."

• My take on Roy Oswalt is that he'd probably be too costly for the Twins. Steve Phillips' take on Oswalt is that the Nationals should trade Stephen Strasburg for him. Seriously.

• After reading this story, I'd advise Joe Mauer to avoid any suspicious-looking twins.

Daunte Culpepper will be reunited with Denny Green in something called the United Football League. Sounds about right.

50 Cent looks scary after going from 214 pounds to 160 pounds for a movie role, but I'm still jealous. And it annoys me when someone who's in fantastic shape to begin with can so easily shed weight.

Bob Davidson furthered his reputation as one of baseball's worst, most combative umpires this week. And yes, I know he's from Minnesota. He's still a terrible umpire.

• Speaking of umpires going out of their way to find confrontation, Joe West was on a mission to mess with the White Sox on Wednesday. Mission accomplished, I guess. Ozzie Guillen then earned himself a big fine by speaking the truth afterward. Obviously no one likes it when umps blow calls, but for whatever reason that doesn't bother me nearly as much as when they seek out confrontation (although usually that's in conjunction with a blown call).

As you might expect, Hawk Harrelson's reaction on WGN was priceless:

It sounds like West will be disciplined by MLB, at least.

• An interesting contrast of managerial personalities was Guillen calling West "a f-ing a-hole" while Brewers skipper Ken Macha complained about "negativism" and "poppycock."

• This picture says a thousand words and all of them are "Ron Swanson is awesome."

• On a related note, this news is the opposite of awesome.

• I've linked to him before, but Joe Posnanski's brother Tony Posnanski has lost 221 pounds. If you're like me and are always looking for weight-loss motivation, check out his blog for the amazing progress in picture form. As for me, I'm holding steady at around 70 pounds lost due to a few dieting slip-ups this month. For me the two biggest struggles are avoiding boredom while exercising and avoiding the seemingly random urge to eat a whole bunch of bad stuff.

• In related news, Pizza Hut's honey BBQ "bone-out wings" are really good even if they aren't really "wings."

Drew Magary also has some helpful (and very funny) dieting tips.

• I'm probably just bitter because I've been doing this for eight years and have made almost enough to buy a Luis Rivas rookie card, but the notion that someone might pay $20 million for Perez Hilton's blog makes me want to shut down the internet. Or maybe start blogging about Lindsay Lohan rather than Delmon Young.

• Do you think Amar'e Stoudemire ever confuses Robin Lopez for his mother?

David Brown of Yahoo! Sports was in town this week and wrote an amusing review of his first trip to Target Field.

• I'm looking forward to the inevitable moment when the Target Field hawk attacks the Target Field squirrel, if only for Brendan Harris' reaction.

• Not surprisingly, 89-year-old Mickey Rooney seems to have a pretty good handle on the ins and outs of Twitter:

"Do you find this fun and interesting?"

• Maybe the Twins could do something like this, but with Anthony LaPanta instead of Elvis?

• I'm a huge Lost fan, but because I didn't start watching the show until last year and blitzed through the old episodes in the span of about a month my time devoted to the series is lower than most. With that said, I thought the finale was good without being satisfying, although in fairness people seem to overestimate the number of truly excellent series finales in television history. I'll definitely remember the characters and acting more than the mythology.

Actually, the thing I'll probably remember most about Lost is the pilot episode that ranks as my all-time favorite (and not just because of the "Kate bathing in the ocean" scene). No show has ever hooked me so thoroughly with a single episode, although re-watching the pilot on ABC the day before the finale was a totally different experience and it actually struck me as sort of quaint. My favorite quote from the finale: "It's a helluva long con, Doc."

• Oh, and as an MMA fan I also enjoyed Jack's odd attempt at a "Superman punch."

• At this point I'll be shocked if the Moneyball film is even decent, with Jonah Hill playing Paul DePodesta, Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Art Howe, and Robin Wright playing someone who didn't actually exist in the book.

Gus Johnson taking over as the voice of the Madden video game franchise may convince me to finally buy a Playstation 3 after years of letting my Playstation 2 simply collect dust.

R.A. Dickey wasn't much good for the Twins last season, but the 35-year-old knuckleballer tossed six shutout innings for the Mets this week after being hit on the elbow by a line drive.

• Some of the highlights from my blogging this week:

- Are the Phillies overworking Roy Halladay?
- Angels may be giving up on Brandon Wood
- Rockies bringing Chris Iannetta back to majors
- Kyle Lohse needs forearm surgery or a move to the bullpen
- Carlos Zambrano rejoining rotation next week
- Tim Lincecum's rare struggles bring up questions about cracked nails
- Jake Peavy has a 6.05 ERA and a "tired arm"

• Finally, this week's music video is Ray Charles performing a live version of "What'd I Say" from 1963:


  1. I lol’d pretty hard at Jack’s punch.

    Comment by Evan — May 27, 2010 @ 10:28 pm

  2. 1. Joe West is an ass.
    2. Hawk Harrelson is also an ass. I hate saying that because as a kid growing up in Cleveland I remember thinking he was a great player. I kind of remember thinking it was a good trade when we got him from Boston. I checked him on BB-ref and he basically sucked for us. Memory is funny. Regardless, he is an awful announcer. Having said all that, whatever he said about West would have been okay.
    3. Ron Swanson for president!!!
    4. The first step to losing a lot of weight is to put on a lot of weight.
    5. Nick Blackburn seems to be putting things together the last few weeks!

    Comment by largebill — May 27, 2010 @ 10:38 pm

  3. The finale for The Shield is the best I’ve ever seen. Excellent, compelling TV.

    Comment by Zack — May 28, 2010 @ 12:46 am

  4. Great links as always…and wouldn’t you know it, we won the finale! No more Yankees or Red Sox for the rest of the regular season. Now time to focus on the Rangers and Rays.

    Comment by Marshall Garvey — May 28, 2010 @ 1:54 am

  5. How to get rid of a squirrel:

    1. Construct Merv Griffin Show set in Target Field
    2. Invite Jim Fowler and a hawk
    3. Have George Costanza bring the squirrel

    Comment by Kevin — May 28, 2010 @ 3:09 am

  6. I think the squirrel should be an unofficial Twins mascot. I like him. Feisty. If only we can train him to bite A-Rod in the rear.

    Comment by Son of Shane Mack — May 28, 2010 @ 4:08 am

  7. Haha, I get it. It’s funny because Amar’e Stoudamire’s mom has serious troubles *and* has a funny-looking mugshot. Works on so many levels.

    Comment by Mike — May 28, 2010 @ 5:46 am

  8. Rest assured, that West is a close, personal friend of one Sid Hartman; and that his kids, cousins, nephews, and East Side buddies somehow are found on a golf course via The Shooter.

    Isn’t Randolph also stalking or somehow carrying a grudge against someone at an L.A. stripclub recently?

    Guess 50 should now be 30 cent?

    Comment by Eric — May 28, 2010 @ 7:43 am

  9. Correction…Davidson, not West.

    Comment by Eric — May 28, 2010 @ 7:46 am

  10. How is Steve Phillips somehow still involved in baseball? Once you’re in the baseball fraternity, is there anyway to get kicked out?

    Obviously, being a complete idiot doesn’t get you kicked out. Sexual harassment only causes you to move from Company A to Company B.

    It’s really amazing to still see his name in baseball related articles.

    Comment by Algonad — May 28, 2010 @ 8:56 am

  11. Zach Randolph diversifies.

    Comment by AndyW — May 28, 2010 @ 11:20 am

  12. Did I miss the Mila Kunis links?

    Comment by Ted — May 28, 2010 @ 12:47 pm

  13. Anyone else going to the game tonight?

    Comment by Karl — May 28, 2010 @ 1:18 pm

  14. Aaron, you have to break down and buy a PS3. Not just for Madden, but for MLB 10:The Show. Best simulation of baseball ever. Also, if you have an HDTV, you’re in for a treat, because the graphics are off the charts! Add in the bonus of getting the best blu-ray player on the market, and you have yourself a fantastic set up.

    Comment by MacTheKnife — May 28, 2010 @ 6:53 pm

  15. Madden has been awful recently so I would rent that before buying.

    Comment by Evan — May 30, 2010 @ 8:21 pm

  16. My brother was at a recent game at Target field in the front row behind home plate. His friend yelled out something to the home plate umpire about that “not being his call”. After the inning, the umpire came over to my brothers friend and said “don’t you ever try to tell me my job you fucking asshole”. Yeah, I think some umps think they are bigger than the game. Unbelievable.

    Comment by TL — May 31, 2010 @ 9:36 am

  17. It’s kind of scary that this umpire out of control story is repeating itself all over the league. We’ve got issues with Runge and Cuzzi. The Sox have issues with West. Tampa Bay has issues with Johnson. Since when do umpires carry grudges around from past experiences? Where is the accountability?

    Comment by cmathewson — June 1, 2010 @ 4:08 pm

  18. Umpires are out of control.

    Mila links? ( I suppose I pay for what I get)

    Great Ray Charles music.

    Btw..i’m reading this as N. Blackburn is getting lit up by the M’s.

    Comment by Mookie Blaylock — June 1, 2010 @ 11:07 pm

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