August 13, 2010


• Quote of the Week, courtesy of Ozzie Guillen: "Who gives a shit who's in town? How about, 'the White Sox are back in Chicago after a long trip.' Even my wife told me Minnesota is coming to town. I said, 'Good, you dating somebody from there? Who cares.'"

• If you learn anything from this week's Link-O-Rama, it's that you should be nice to every girl in high school just in case.

• This is admittedly saying a lot, but the "synopsis" of "Regulate" by Warren G and Nate Dogg is probably the best thing I've ever seen on Wikipedia.

• Sure, but does she know where to find me?

• I may save this article to have on hand the next time I'm in another city and someone brings up the notion of "Minnesota nice." It's a keeper, if only for the presence of brass-knuckles.

Johan Santana had kind of an up and down week.

Big deal. Call me when Mila Kunis' father's daughter decides to get into porn.

• I'm a little surprised the Twins didn't become free agents and shop their radio rights around to various stations, but their decision to sign a two-year extension with 1500-ESPN strikes me as a good thing. Phil Mackey and Tom Pelissero have done a very nice job covering the team as beat writers on and while a move back to WCCO may have been an option KFAN's general lack of interest in baseball seemingly would have made them a poor fit.

• Surely this will get the "Joe Mauer or Mark Prior?" debate stirring again.

• Not even cancer and the resulting hair loss can keep Maura Tierney from looking good.

• A confession: I make myself a drink before watching Mad Men each week.

If I'm feeling extra nerdy, I make it an old fashioned.

• I'd approve of this possible Steve Carell replacement on The Office as long as they promise he'll take attendance each morning.

• I'll have to consult with fellow members of the tribe to be certain, but much like with Lindsay Lohan a while back I'm not sure we necessarily want Amar'e Stoudemire even if he would be our best big man since Dolph Schayes.

• As a fatso who literally keeps his house at 68 degrees year-round, this makes a lot of sense.

• Last week I linked to a few anti-Mitch Albom rants that some of you felt were unfair even for criticism, so you may prefer the always great Joe Posnanski's more even-handed take-down.

• Earlier this month Dennis Green's son and former NFL analyst Jeremy Green was arrested on child pornography charges and the details that have since emerged are very sad.

• This extensive list of salaries for television stars is equal parts fascinating and maddening.

• Last month Seth Stohs essentially forced Amanda Bynes into retirement at age 24 through the sheer power of his mind, but now she's reconsidered.

• I remember renting this movie at like a dozen different sleepovers as a ... well, kid.

• As the world's biggest Lizzie Caplan fan, I approve of this message.

• Some long-awaited good (and sensible) news on the online-gambling front.

• Had gambling on your own grades been around when I was in college I might have actually stayed in school.

• I'm clearly the Inception of baseball bloggers.

• After reading this, I really feel like starting a Twitter "feud" of my own.

• Usually my favorite new television shows get canceled, but FX renewed Louie for Season 2.

• If you're like me and you enjoy Nick Nelson's excellent blog, you should read this interview.

• Two new(ish) blogs to check out: That's Twins Baseball and Glorious Nation of Hrbekistan.

• Here are some highlights from my blogging this week:

- Jason Heyward snaps 31-game homerless streak
- Mike Stanton is first 20-year-old with five-hit game since 1978
- This just in: Curtis Granderson can't hit left-handed pitching
- LaTroy Hawkins goes back on DL with more shoulder pain
- Javier Vazquez is worried about his declining fastball velocity
- Time for Indians to move Justin Masterson to the bullpen
- Randy Johnson is now the world's tallest music photographer
- Picked up for nothing, Pat Burrell has come up big for Giants
- Brandon Wood predictably collecting dust on Angels' bench
- David Price sets Rays' franchise record with 15th win

• Finally, because he was good when I saw him in Atlanta last week while attending the SABR convention, this week's music video is Eddie Spaghetti of the Supersuckers doing a live version of "Sleepy Vampire":


  1. The note on Hawkins got me on former Twins, and reminded me that T. Hunter is now 9 for 20 in stolen base attempts. I wonder how many guys have tried to steal at least 20 bases in a season with less than a 50% success rate? At least he’s moved to right field with a good attitude.

    Comment by Illinois Twins Fan — August 13, 2010 @ 8:02 am

  2. The best joke on the “Drunk Men” clip is the music.

    Comment by raj — August 13, 2010 @ 9:10 am

  3. Those are almost all blocked at work. I should know better than to try to read on Friday from work….

    Comment by mike wants wins — August 13, 2010 @ 9:13 am

  4. The Wikipedia entry is hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh.

    Comment by Dave T — August 13, 2010 @ 10:42 am

  5. That Mad Men clip is missing one of Roger’s best, probably because it was from 2 weeks ago:

    Roger, to visitor: Would you like a drink?

    Visitor: It’s a little early, don’t you think?

    Roger, walking over to bar, looks at watch: “Well, would you look at that?”

    Roger sits down without getting a drink.

    Comment by Matt B — August 13, 2010 @ 10:54 am

  6. With rain expected tonight at Target Field that means wet field conditions. Do you expect Gardy to go with Repko in right and bring Kubes off the bench as a DH?

    Comment by Eric P — August 13, 2010 @ 12:50 pm

  7. That IS the greatest Wikipedia entry ever. Thank you sir.

    Comment by Marshall Garvey — August 13, 2010 @ 1:34 pm

  8. Christine Hendricks was still hot as a geeky goth girl in High School.

    I lived those early 90’s years. They weren’t that bad.

    Comment by Son of Shane Mack — August 13, 2010 @ 2:14 pm

  9. If you think the synopsis to “Regulate” is funny…read the synopsis to “Gin and Juice”

    Comment by Mike — August 13, 2010 @ 6:01 pm


    Here are a few more Ozzie quotes courtesy of the onion

    Comment by Doofus — August 15, 2010 @ 8:24 pm

  11. haha. Ozzie Guillen is simply amazing. I love that quote.

    Comment by Spoiler TV — September 9, 2010 @ 1:51 pm

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